You know how there is a job ad for every conceivable job on this earth? |
JOB: HUMAN BEING ON PLANET EARTH. JOB DESCRIPTION: Must be willing to become man or woman ! In fact, well before you reach this stage you must begin as a tiny embryo. You must be physically fit enough to make the arduous trek down the birth canal, after spending around 9 months growing in a pool of warm liquid in pure darkness. You will feed through a tube and strive to earth through the melodic beat of your mothers heart. When you finally make that journey, you will leave the tranquil stillness of the only world you've ever (remembered) known, to bright lights, noise and peculiar-looking hairy people. But don't worry, you will grow into one as well - given time. You will scream your little lungs out as you are moved from pillar to post and each second you are parted from your mother. You will be someone's daughter or son. You will be expected to be healthy, beautiful and unblemished. As you grow, great manners and a loving nature are desirable, as is a talent that will amass a fortune for your parents or guardians. You may have brothers or sisters. You will be expected to fight over everything you believe is yours and upset your parents to the point of extracting their hair through stress. You will be expected to attend an educational institution for a period of time to enhance and develop your brain and into a line of work that pays well and hones your skills and gifts. MALES ONLY: You will be required to fish out a mermaid, fall deeply in love and have a family of your own. FEMALES ONLY: After trawling earth for your perfect soul-mate, you may or may not choose to have a family, but if you do like all mothers you may be subjected to 9 months of sickness, bloating and tiredness. A period of anything up to 3 days in excruciating labour pain to pop out a miniature form of yourself or partner. In this post of an earthly being you may have very little money to survive on. Big corporations with greedy executives will your prosperity whilst lathering themselves in it. As you fight the wrongs and strive for what's right, you'll find your energy levels dwindling day by day. As you age, you'll tire easily and pick up many illnesses along the way. But through these trying times you will have hidden strengths that will propel you past many obstacles. Even on your worst days something somewhere will carry you through. This job will entail building friendships over many years and saying goodbye to them. Some will just fizzle out, others fade but many will come and go. You may grow old and suffer some more. And you may get to the stage you no longer want the position. You may have served your time- served your life career as a fully qualified tradesperson of life. This is the position on offer. How many would want such a task ? Surprisingly, billions have jumped at the chance for the privilege. Billions have already been given similar posts. Some easier. Some very difficult. Some hold the post for many years, and some for only seconds. Yes you will be tested to the limit but be rest assured, you have within you the tools to do the job !! |