The Morlaffs

When the first Morlaff laughed, it  was reason for celebration at the Institute of Laugh Integration to be sure, but what happened subsequent to that sent shock waves through the entire scientific establishment on Earth, and to Alpha Centauri and beyond.  Let me explain.

My name is Allenby, and I work for the Institute of Laugh Integration, or Inolin.  It was my job to make the Morlaff laugh.  Who are the Morlaff, you ask?  Well, they are an alien race who made contact with Earth not too long ago, and that contact was well received by both Humans and Morlaff.  There was just one problem: the Morlaff did not know how to laugh.  Top government officials felt, however, if the Morlaff could be taught how to laugh, if they could be taught the concept of funny, it would be beneficial to humanity, and to the Morlaff as well.  So they called me.

The Morlaff come from planet Prodanal-97b in a solar system not unlike our own.  They are tall, thin beings, bipedal, but have three fingers instead of four, and an opposable thumb.  Their skin is yellowish-gray and markedly scaly, but not like that of a fish; it is more like that of a palm tree, particularly one found in the South Pacific.  They have oval eyes with yellow pupils, and these are ringed with red bands that often fluctuate--an emotional indicator, I think.  It gives the Morlaff a demon-like appearance, yet that is misleading; the Morlaff are very kind and unassuming beings.  If that had not been the case, I am sure the project of teaching them the concept of humor would never have been considered. 

It was a benefit beyond all expectation when they finally did laugh, because a new element was produced!  Yes, you heard me right.  A new substance, something not found on the periodic chart of the elements.  The Morlaff have small pouch-like growths on the sides of their feet.  When they laugh, they secret a liquid into these pouches, albeit in small quantities.  We have named it Morlaffium.  It joins Mercury and Bromine as the only liquids in the Periodic Table.  It shows great promise in the development of fusion power, and studies are ongoing. It is a remarkable substance, indeed.

So there was great incentive to get the Morlaff to laugh more once we got them to laugh in the first place.  But how did we get them to laugh, initially?  That was tough, to say the least.  Their trying to grasp the concept of humor was like any of us trying to understand the concept of four dimensional space.  That’s difficult to do when you only have three dimensions to work with.

Initially, at Inolin, we sat down with some Morlaff for informal conversation, bull sessions, a kind of town hall atmosphere, if you will.  The difference, however, was that it involved beings from towns further than could be mapped by AAA!  We talked about everything from food to family to forms of recreation.  And we were able to communicate freely because of the wireless connection to a universal translator, since neither human nor Morlaff were able to grasp the other’s language.

Then, rigid lectures followed, strict explanations of what humor is, its history and development, regional, cultural, philosophical and racial differences, the entire gamut of humor as could be supplied by computers and we at the institute.  That got us nowhere.

That was followed by the visuals.  Here there was an almost endless supply, and it was here when I noticed something positive, and began to have hope.  Perhaps it was some fluctuation in the Morlaff’s red bands--I don’t know.  At any rate, we continued the visuals, giving commentary along with them of course.  All us worked hard; I, along with my assistants, wanted to make the Morlaff laugh. 

There were a panoply of images, anything that is funny; pies in the face, clowns, funny people, funny scenes, funny things, you name it.  Then, that first inkling of breakthrough came when I showed a video of an old commercial where a duck was driving an automobile.  I noticed an eye glow a little redder around a yellow pupil.  That was the beginning, when I realized that the more absurd, the more the Morlaff responded to it.

It was a tough road, but we finally got them to laugh, and the actual sound was a sort of tree frog/cricket sound you hear on a hot summer night.  The Morlaff were appreciative, and we were appreciative (and I am not so hounded now by my superiors).  In fact, just the other day we had a few Morlaff  in and we, “harvested” a real good supply of Morlaffium.  They laughed aplenty--I had them watch videos of FOX News and My Mother the Car.


810 Words
Writer’s Cramp
September 15, 2013