Finding One's Meaning in Life

Life ...



Ever since I was born, I was programmed or scripted by my parents to aim for something higher -- excellent education, ambition, dreams and aspirations of becoming the best, or reaching the top of whatever summit I choose to reach.



In fairness, I did follow the scripting I got. I finished college and aimed for graduate and doctoral studies, achieving a Ph.D. in Psychology. I strove to be quite exceptional in my field which involved change management, training and mentoring leaders. I joined a consulting firm and told myself I was going to be their most sought after speaker and facilitator. I would be the highest earning consultant of that firm and I would help that firm rake in profits.



At that time, i saw the purpose of my life as one of "using my utmost creativity in teaching to help people find that there is something good in them which they could use to find their own meaning in their lives."



And I did fulfill my purpose .... for almost twenty-seven years, I believe I was quite successful in this endeavor.



Then came 2009 and my world changed ... in one night, my mother and I lost our home of 40 years in a flood. I was born to believe that having a roof above our heads was the most secure life one could lead. That security disappeared overnight, and my poor mom had to deal with a loss she knew she would never recover. Thank God she had savings. We bought a small condominium ... it wasn't much but at least it was home for her.



I was lucky to have started a downpayment for my own place so I could live with my partner.



However, 2011 forced me to get a second kidney transplant, and although I did recover, my financial situation changed. We lost our savings due to extremely expensive medical expenses. The most important thing is that I am alive and well ... and back to work ... and doing what I thought was about fulfilling my life purpose ... until now.



Now, I find myself asking questions about life once again - what new toads should I take? What future should I create for myself? Why am I starting yo feel burdened about having to carry through this type of work which I once so loved and passionately pursued to the hilt. I suddenly find myself feeling tired and my once jubilant mood after a project or successful program has turned into one of fatigue, impatience and sometimes, feelings of disappointment and disillusionment,



What baffles me however is that I am actually successful in what I am doing. I always get raving reviews from my participants and audience, and get very good evaluation ratings. If things were going well for me, then why am I seemingly losing tough in my life's purpose?



MY LONG LOST LOVE



When I was three years old, I had a gift - I played the piano quite well. My mother made me take piano lessons at 4 and I seemed to delight in being able to play the guitar, the ukelele, the harmonica, the flute, almost any instrument I would be given, I could play ... and I played by ear.



I had one bad trait however, I wasn't a very conscientious piano student. Confident I coukd play by ear, I ignored my music teachers' naggings and scoldings that I should practice. I did participate in piano recitals though, and held my own recital where I played pieces such as Rhapsody in Blue by George Gershwin and a few other classicals. I enrolled in the Conservatory of Music after graduating from college in the hope that I could still pursue a musical career. All these went down the drain when I opted to work. Eventually, my inclination to be a pianist died or faded away.



Recently, now that I turned 53, thirty years after, I suddenly developed a yearning to go back to the instrument. My partner got a music teacher so she could study voice. I joined her and opted to study piano once again. After 30 years of not having played, and allowing this teacher to see my hands glide through the keyboard, she said I still had the "hands" and that there was hope for me to regain my dexterity.



After seven months of lessons, my form is back ... and now, combining both what was left of my gifted talent with constant rigorous practice, I find myself passionately pounding over the keyboard, listening and watching youtube videos everynight of stories of masters and concert pianists .... dreaming that in the last years of my life, I could still leave a memorable mark in this world.



I think I found my calling.... although my life purpose of helping people find meaning in their lives continue, I now am possessed with greater inspiration to find my own meaning, or at least expand my horizons, create and use new vehicles such as the gift of music to help people find peace and relief when they hear me play.



WHY FINDING MEANING IN LIFE IS VITAL



Many people live their lives on earth never knowing fulfillment, satisfaction or greatness. As Jim Collins, author of Good to Great once said, some individuals will never ever experience a great life because they are happy enough to settle for a good one.



When I heard this young Stanford thought leader say these words in a video, I told myself I would not want to die just living a good life. I want to live my life having reached what I would have called "bringing out the best and the greatest in me" and making a mark in this world.



Finding a bigger purpose, a deeper meaning to living, is a calling in itself. The calling may come from one's own recognition of one's own gifts, one's capacity for greatness. It may also be bestowed through actions recognitions from others - from parents who reacognize early enough that their children have talent and therefore strive to help nurture this talent. Others go through a rainbow of experiences in life and realize that they have actually played a significant part in the lives of others, in creating something of value, in using their imagination to invent something the world will honor them for.



I realize that although it had been said that greatness and meaning are created and caught by individuals, it is important however that people are aware that they need to search for this. There has to be a yearning within them for something far better than what they already are, or already have, and in that yearning, there will be the driving force that will propel them to discovering one's meaning in life.



Truly, the adage from the movie THE SHADOW holds true -- "Chance favors the prepared mind."



And while fate opens doors of opportunities to discover the gateways that lead to paths of greatness and meaning, one has to be alert, vigilant, curious, eyes wide open and scanning the landscapes of life constantly, to ensure that one does not miss out on the abundance that unfolds.



To search for one's meaning in life, one has to be on the lookout ... and ad one catches a glimpse of an opportunity, one grabs the golden dust of opportunity, mix these with the right life experience elements, put a dash of imagination and creativity, pour an ounce of passion in redesigning one's life so that meaning is created. As all these take place, one only need remember that meaning of life turns into greatness if it is done to gratify oneself, and benefit others as well.