F.U.D.D. -Corporate Conflict Resolution

Conflict in the Workplace: The F.U.D.D. method of conflict resolution!

Scene begins as a corporate training video, cheesy electronic keyboard music plays over graphics that say "Conflict resolution in the workplace….. The F.U.D.D. method"

During the VO two employees, a male and a female can be seen standing near a cubicle having a mild disagreement. They are both dressed in standard office attire and are holding papers, folders, etc. They can be seen having a conversation, and the female looks agitated. The male throws his hands up as if he's giving up on resolving the conversation.

Male V.O.: "Conflict in the working environment is uncomfortable and costly. Unfortunately, it is also all too common. Often, co-workers find that they just can't see eye to eye on an issue. It is for this reason that we at DimCo. Industries have developed a system of steps our team members can take to resolve conflict in the workplace easily, efficiently, and fairly."

Continuing during V.O.- Cut to scene of the man and woman walking to their boss's office. They knock on the door, and the boss lets them in. He gestures for them to sit down and then sits in his chair across the desk from them.

Male V.O.: "The first step when attempting to resolve a workplace disagreement of course is to try to work it out openly and fairly between employees. If this is unsuccessful, we encourage you to approach your immediate supervisor to help reach a resolution."

The conversation is obviously not developing beyond the female employee's agitation and the male employee's resolution to the fact that it's going nowhere. The boss looks concerned at this point and furrows his brow while stroking his chin in thought. He gestures with his finger that he has an idea.

Male V.O: "If it becomes clear that even the boss cannot help reach a solution to the workplace conflict, it's time to turn to F.U.D.D.!"

The male and female employees look at the camera suddenly and questioningly. They both shrug exaggeratedly.

Male V.O.: " What's F.U.D.D., you ask? Why, it's an acronym for the next step in conflict resolution: "Fight Until Death or Dismemberment"! Coworkers are given weapons, shields, and light armor, and sent into a battle arena to fight it out! There will be only one who prevails!"

The man and woman look alarmed and frightened. They look at each other and panic.

Cut to a spartan arena. The boss is decked out in Emperor's attire.

The man is given a trident and a shield, she has a mace and shield. They still wear their business attire. They look around in a panic and are obviously trying to plead with the boss that they don't want to fight. He laughs, then points sternly to the arena. They reluctantly go.

They fight, halfheartedly at first, then she swings her mace at him hard and almost knocks his shield out of his hand. Their demeanor changes to combat mode. They build momentum, swinging at each other, punching, grappling. It gets dirty. At one point in the match she takes off her shoe and throws it at him. The heel sticks in his eye. He screams, then comes at her with his trident and at the last minute pulls a stapler from his pocket, he staples her face. She howls with rage and pain, they fight until he buries the trident in her chest, she knocks his head off with the mace, and they both collapse in a bloody heap.

Male V.O.: "By resolving workplace conflict quickly, efficiently, and completely, we ensure that DimCo. Industries continues to provide quality products and excellent service to our valued customers, all while maintaining the highest standard of respect and courtesy among it's team members."

Cut to scene of the boss in his Emperor getup with a scantily clad woman in a toga sitting on his lap, feeding him grapes. He has a chalice in front of him at his desk and as the camera pans out, we see a few other employees dressed like him sitting around partying, spilling their drinks, eating giant drumsticks, etc.