Oprah Knows

Oprah Knows

Oprah knows for sure
magazine  words lined up to  conclude the helpful, magazine pages

Sister Mary All-of-Them knew for sure
as I squirmed and daydreamed through classes and Masses
my not knowing, not believing was heresy and nothing more.
But, it was more and no one knew.

By high school I had to know and needed you to know I knew
My mantra, “You can’t tell me, I already know.”
I’d cast pearls to all who’d listen and fling them wildly at those who didn’t.
But in early dawn I’d hear whispered questions,
So, I yelled louder what I knew for sure
to drown out the unknowing.

A new mom at nineteen, I knew I could do it right.
I grew his vegetables, baked his bread,
sewed his rompers from soft red corduroy.
He belonged to me and now I belonged forever to him.
I knew if he looked good enough, I’d be good enough,
He was tasked with my redemption before his first candle was extinguished,

In all, three sons came through me
I knew if I was a tv mom,
they’d all be doctors, lawyers, engineers
with 4.0s and straight, white teeth.
I took them to prayer vigils and peace marches,
so they’d  be peaceful, responsible,  anarchists
and, surely, they’d be Democrats.

What I knew when they were boys, in the world more of my making
became what I prayed for and grieved
as they grew up and away.
Addiction, autism, institutionalization, Iraq, Afghanistan,
vowel words that changed the “o” in know
To the Oh of Fear yet sometimes, mercifully, wonder

Now, nest empty, Oprah’s words invite my own conclusion.
“What I know for sure is…”
I didn’t know.
    And, I didn’t know even that.