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Rated: E · Poetry · Adult · #1919375
A poem about not being able to face the world outside and not being proud of myself.

-Can’t Be Proud-
by
Keaton Foster

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Can’t be proud
Without a sound
No words spoken
With everything to say
But be assured
Much about nothing
Who is listening
Not a single soul
As always I am alone
A prisoner within his home
I cannot go outside
Because I find everything
Most of all every other person
Immensely frightening
Deep within my mind
Deep within my chest
Lives
An undiagnosed condition
Hidden by a diagnosed predication
Taking drugs cuts down the edge
Makes a life once impossible
A livable disaster of possibilities
Each day when I wake up
I look in the mirror
And say, I can do this
But just as quick I fail
Just as quick I realize
That I can do nothing at all
I climb back into my hole
I hide from the reality of life
I refuse all chances at normalcy
For what I am comfortable with
For what I truly understand
These words are as close as I can get
They are my fight against myself
A battle that I am winning
Within a war that I am losing
Can’t be proud
Because I’ve done nothing right
And everything completely wrong
I would feel sorry for myself
If I was capable of such a feeling
But an ever increasing emotionless void
Floods my chest and lessons my senses
This particular day is about to end
A new one will start next
The same will happen again and again
I will wake up ready to face the world
But I will only face myself in the mirror
I am too afraid of what is beyond
The reflection that I am comfortable with
Such a fear will always keep me here
Such a fear is more real than anything else…


Can’t Be Proud
Written by Keaton Foster Copyright © 2013

© Copyright 2013 Keaton Foster: Know My Hell! (keatonfoster at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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Printed from https://writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1919375-