thought and feeling about RA

Writing and photography are the two most important things in my life. Lately I have been neglecting both,  but not because I want to, but because of the pain I've been going through lately. I'm grateful that right now I'm Swype key board know my phone, ending me to actually write this almost painlessly; however, to me, The joy of writing is being able to grab that pen and applying your thought on paper- that, to me is the actual at form. I wonder sometimes if I'm being punished for something my father did in his life time. I have Two autoimmune conditions: Diabetes and rheumatoid arthritis; one autoimmune condition then makes way for yet another one. The worst part is the say Ugghh fell over all; lonely, misunderstood, judged. I feel betrayed by my own body. What my body is doing is attack itselfthinking it has am infection and attacks it, but it's attacking and damaging itself instead. I fell older than what I really am, I can't turn a simple door know;  holding loose change in my hand is a painful struggle; I can't open a bottle of soda, something I didn't have problems with not to long ago.  The pain medication is just something that works when it wants to- making my pain medication ridiculous.