Love, Love, Love

Let me be the first to wish you a happy November
Our enemies are dead, our government might not be,
And if we the people can agree on anything, it's that
Our faith in most things American is flatlining

You see, it's like this:
America loves progress, but we hate compromise
We love our planet, we just think Smartcars look really dumb
We love talking about diversity, but we hate hearing it
We love staring at beautiful women, but we hate listening to them
We love the two-party system, but we hate both parties
We love the idea of change, just not the part where something does need to change

And we love each other, but it's a tough love,
Like the best friend who swears he's good for last month's rent
And we love each other, but it's a strange love,
Like the homophobic uncle who was the only one that remembered your birthday

America loves her children, but it's a tough love
And we're still raising their tuition
We love our future and hate their teachers
We love our faith, but we hate preachers
And we love the diamonds on our fingers, but only after we've wiped away the bloodstains
We love our soldiers, but we're still trying to wipe away the bloodstains
And we'll love the gulfs while we still have them, oil stains and all

But that boat's sinking fast, cargo overboard, lifeboats dropping,
Get in them quickly, 'cause we only bail out banks these days,
Get in them quickly: women first, children last-
Forgive me, but the kids don't know what they’re losing.

And they can’t understand that the only good that ever comes from
Taking an eye for an eye
Is an increase in the price of monocles

But I’ve seen Platoon about seventeen times,
And I’ve crossed enough yellow tape
And swallowed enough Texas tea
To know that a home-cooked meal and your lover’s first kiss will always taste better-
And I say we start acting in good taste,

Because I know that if you gave me a bike hooked to a generator and
Told me to think about the energy in my stomach
When I asked Carlee Jensen to prom and just pedal,
I could light up Downtown LA until Christmas

And I want every home in America to have central heating
Powered by a puppy in your lap, because
America will not go to war for puppies, because
The only place that ever got invaded for puppies was Michael Vick’s house

I want every chauvinist to recant and every feminist to
Extend their hands, to come together for a beautiful
Humanist waltz and not care who’s leading

And I want to celebrate Your History month and My History month at the same time
In November and the other eleven months,
I want every day to be Earth Day and
I want us to treat each other like it’s Christmas

And forget Bloomberg or de Blasio,
I want the man in Times Square holding
A sign that reads “Free Hugs”
To run for mayor of New York City,
I know love isn’t all I need, but it’s all I can afford right now.

It’s not much, but it’s a start.