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When I woke up the sun was filtering through the windows. The apartment looked all bright and lit up. I rubbed my eyes and looked around. I was surprised I was still wearing my yesterday's clothes, I was surprised I had woken up in the couch, but mostly I was surprised there was a bulge on the other side of that couch. Jack was curled up and still breathing deeply. I tried to get up quietly and I noticed the galette's plate was on my feet. The t.v. was still on so I turned it off. I was in my room and I wondered if it would be inappropriate to take a shower with him in the living room. But it was my damn house! I just took my clothes and all I would need to the bathroom with me. "If only I had a bathroom inside my room..." I thought as I got dressed. Was I wearing this dress I hardly wore because of him again? I started to sort the possibility of suicide. When I was finally ready I got out of the bathroom but he was nowhere to be found. Did I imagined... -Boo! -he touched my back from the kitchen. It made me jump and yelp. -What is your problem?! -he laughed. -I'm sorry I stayed the whole night, and ate your food and all that... -now he sounded serious. -Oh yeah, no problem. What time is it, huh? -he glanced at my kitchen clock. -2:10? -Really?! Dammit, I can't believe I slept so much -he laughed again. -Well... I guess I'll see you later. And sorry again. -Yeah, sure, no problem -I was babbling. He smiled at me as he walked out the door. It seemed like he was checking me out again, the dress must had worked. At that moment I only found myself full of sorrow. What did I expect, anyway? He had to leave at some point. The truth probably was that it wasn't Jack himself, it was the fact of not being alone. I had almost forgotten how that felt. That was my sorrow. The day felt very slow as I filled up glasses and glasses. I was lost in my thoughts but they weren't even clear. I was lost again. I had struggled so much not to feel that way, like I had no real goals in life, I had managed to ignore that fact, and now... -Are you here with us, Annie? -Huh? -I turned. -Apparently not -Ellie laughed. -Oh, sorry -I smiled embarrassed. -I know this can be monotone, especially on crazy Saturdays, huh? -Yeah but I don't mind. I don't have anything better to do -I giggled. -Oh come on, a young girl like you must have tons of better things to do on a Saturday evening -she kept laughing- aren't you gonna see your boyfriend today? -What, who? -that really disarray me. -That boy who comes often, I thought he was your friend, I've seen you talking to him more than you talk to other costumers -this was the kind of lady that you would never see frowning. She had a wide smile all the time. -Oh no, I mean Jack? Yeah, no, he's a friend -she laughed some more at my babbling and continued serving stuff. I probably got lost in those thoughts again cause I didn't even noticed when he arrived. Must've been like 1:30. -Hello Annie -I looked up and there he was, there weren't any seats available at the bar anymore so he was right at the edge, almost inside. -Hello Jack, can I offer you anything? -I said with a smile. -Bourbon -he said with that very soft voice of him. I didn't realize I had a smile on my lips as I served all the different things people asked me for. I gave Jack his and continued working. Some annoying guys at the other side of the bar kept talking to me and trying to get me into a conversation but I kept escaping. When I asked Jack for another one I saw one of them -probably the most annoying one- walking towards me. "Leave me alone already" I thought. I was sure he was trying to flirt with me but I just kept a smile without even direct my eyes at him as he followed my every move. "Can you shut up already and leave me to other business I have to deal with right now?" -So, what do you say? -Huh? -now I did looked at him. Drunk, blond, looked like a jock. -Are you coming or what? -he said with a big smile. -What? Where? -With my friends over there. I just told you we're heading to this big thing... -Oh no, sorry I can't, I have to work -I twisted my mouth and left him talking to himself. Jack was of course seeing and listening all this, and probably laughing at it, so I decided not to go where he was. -Hey Annie, what was that show we fell asleep to yesterday? -I turned very quickly and Jack was leaning towards me. Really close, he wasn't in his usual seat at the end of the bar anymore. I couldn't help but look into his eyes, they were quite fascinating. -Oh uhmm... I don't remember. Was it the one with the bugs? -I laughed at that memory. He was looking into my eyes to, still leaning. I put myself even closer. I sensed how the guy, seeing this, returned with his friends. Jack burst into laughter. I rolled my eyes, the moment was over. -I should probably be here everyday to help you out with your admirers. -Isn't that what you already do? -No next week. -No next week? -I repeated, like an idiot. -No, I will be out of the city. -Oh, really? Where are you going. -Not so far -he said with a smile that made his eyes wrinkle. How young did he look. -And why? Are you visiting someone or...? -I was being too obvious. -No, no -he frowned and looked away- it's uh, work. -Would you ever tell me what is it that you do? -I asked exasperated. He frowned even more and looked at his hands. Why did he have to behave like that without any reason? Was he ashamed of something...? -Isn't your turn over? -he said, also exasperated. -Uh, yeah... -I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. He was being so weird... I looked at the clock and he was right. He left the money and headed to the door as I took off my apron and said the usual to Ellie. There was something inside of me that pounded wishing he was waiting for me again. When I saw him at the alley it stopped but I felt even worse. What was that about? Three days ago I didn't feel it, not even when I looked at him. And now only by knowing he was in the same room I was... As I walked I notice his body. He looked even taller that night, and slimmer. He wasn't wearing his habitual gigantic trench coats or parkas, he had just black trousers and a shirt, that also looked too big for him. But it fitted well. His hair was a mess as always but it looked different to. I wondered... -Hello stalker, you know, you're not different from that guy th... -he interrupted my snide comment by anxiously pulling my waist to him and violently putting his lips against mine. I didn't even have time to breathe. It was short but intense. He was just pulling me so close it almost hurt. But for some reason I wanted to be even closer so I clenched myself against his body, with my hands as fists on his chest. When he slowly let go, my mind was in another planet. We looked at each other's eyes as we did in the bar, wanting this moment. It seemed to me it was hours, but it was just a few seconds. He finally twisted up one side of his mouth. I realized my hands were still fists but I couldn't stop staring at him. He didn't looked away neither. I also noticed his arm was still around my waist. I wanted to feel his lips again so desperately I couldn't speak. I was expecting him to but too soon, he finally removed his arm from my waist. HAD IT BEEN WEEKS SINCE WE SAID A WORD? -Sorry -finally, he was the one to speak, and chuckled. -You look weird -what was I saying... -Weird? -he looked bemused. This time I chuckled. He squinted at me and grabbed my hand, dragging me through the streets. -Where are we going?! -To my pub, this time. We walked down the street to neighborhoods I didn't really know, the ones that I avoid on purpose actually, cause they weren't really "pretty" nor had anything to offer. The streets he dragged me onto were narrow and the path seemed a bit complicated. He must had gone there for a long time to memorize all this. When we finally got there, there were a few guys on the alley and you could hear the music loud inside. We entered though what it appeared to be the backdoor but then I realized there wasn't another one. He was still holding my hand. A loud band was playing and it was all dark, with a very few sparkly lights, but overall the place looked pleasant. We headed to the bar and the man behind it greeted Jack, then glanced at me. "What would you like?" he asked and Jack's only answer was "same as always, Ton" which was so cliché I almost start rolling on the floor. Jack looked at me expecting and I just said "whatever you're having". He grinned at my response and told the guy. Apparently I ordered more bourbon. -How come you're never drunk? -I asked him. -I'm used to drink -he said with a smile. -I'm not carrying a lot with me... -I said as I touched my pockets. He rolled his eyes. -Don't worry, I invited you, remember? The barman was back with our drinks and Jack looked at me amused. -What? -Are you sure you don't want something else? -Why? -I frowned. -That's probably too strong for you, Anne. -Watch me, Carter -he looked at me strangely, with wide glowing eyes when I said that. I took the whole glass as a shot, in one gulp, and struggled not to grimace. I did it. He laughed and did the same, without taking his eyes off of me. -Ton, can you refill us? -he said pointing at our empty glasses. -Sure... you know, Jack? You haven't introduced me yet -he gently looked at me. How embarrassing. -Oh sorry, this is Annie. This is Tony -Jack pointed at him with his head. I gave him a big smile and just said "hey" -is Grace here? -No, I think she went out. -Not again -Jack giggled. -I don't know with who this time, though. -I guess we'll just have to find out. We drank our second round and I told Jack I had to go home. But somehow we got to the third round. He payed for everything as he said and finally I got him out of there. It was raining and I didn't have anything with me aside for a small bag. Not even a hoodie. And apparently this was a bad day for Jack not to wear his parka. I wasn't drunk but I felt a bit dizzy. And it was dark and wet outside, I just hoped I wouldn't slip. Jack was holding my hand again as we run to my flat trying to walk beneath anything with a prominent ceiling but there was no use, we ended up soaking wet. When we finally got there I tripped on the stairs and Jack started laughing very loudly I worried someone will complain. -Shut up! -I yelled at him- it's slippy. -Are you sure you're not stumbling cause of how drunk you are? -he smiled wrinkling his eyes again. -Oh yeah, I'm wasted for those three drinks... -I said with a snide tone. -I thought so -he was still chuckling. I rolled my eyes. As soon as I got to my room I changed into dry clothing and gave him a towel. I was desperately looking for something I could lend him but everything seemed too small. I finally picked some sweatpants and a hoodie. -What's this? -he said looking strangely at the clothing I gave him. -I'm really sorry, I don't have anything that'd fit. -You're expecting me to wear your clothes? -that smirk was back. -You're soaking wet, Jack, you're gonna get sick. -Okay, I'll try it... -I wanted to punch him in the face so he would lose the expression he had- can I use your bathroom? This time, I laughed. -Sure, it's over there. -Thanks -he looked embarrassed, which made me smile even more. When I heard the flush of the toilet I couldn't help but burst into laughter, I probably forgot flawless people pee too. He came out wearing the clothes I gave him and looking so extremely vulnerable and embarrassed I felt the urge to rush and hug him and keep him forever. But instead I just stared. -You can laugh if you want -his face was bright red and he was looking at his shoes. -I don't think I need permission to laugh and you look good. That's men clothes by the way, it's not mine, lucky I had it. -Whose is it? -his face went straight from red to white in a second, and he frowned. -My brother's -I said squinting with a warm smile, cause of his reaction. -Oh... -was all he said. -You should take off your shoes too, I'll give you some dry socks. I headed to the kitchen cause I was feeling a bit hungry and I realized I was indeed a bit tipsy. Everything was spinning around yet I was going to remember it, I wasn't that drunk. I wondered the brand of the bourbon I drank. I put some poptarts in the toaster, in case Jack was hungry too. I didn't have much food. |