Narcissistic Underpants

-Narcissistic Underpants-
by
Keaton Foster



I feel great
Like chocolate cake
Like a ripe prom date
Maybe even like a molested great ape
In all things ridiculous I do indeed believe
Excessiveness in any form is never enough.

Words like these I often stammer
Truths like these repeatedly I hammer
Metaphorical shit like this I force
Into the heads of those listening
Expressionism devoid of any contraception
Bare-backing it all day and night long
Impregnating the masses with my appeal
Without a physical touch and the associated stickiness.

All that I am quickly becomes theirs
Sick I know, inside I always dare go
I am not afraid, nor will I ever be
As long as I am dressed appropriately
I know that I will be just fine
As right as rain on any Sunday afternoon
As content as a baby suckling upon its mothers teat .

So please listen well and let me further explain
The preposterous ways in which I mean
Today, here, upon this stage built from a page
To be read and not verbally expressed
I am wearing my special narcissistic underpants
Which give me the power of excessive expressiveness.

Self-admiration by the truck load
Self-centeredness by the absolute shitload
Thus the power to say stupid things
That make not a God damned bit of sense
To any other human being but me
I can step in my own crap all day long
And not for a second to me will it smell
When I am wearing my narcissistic underpants.

I feel as perfect as I am sure that I am
A fool of a god amongst men
A lyrical, poetic, phonetic Mozart
A cross between Edgar Allan Poe
And Kurt Cobain, pre shotgun blast
Ok well, maybe not.

I have more to say than anyone else
And I am sure that everyone is listening
And if they are not, well damn them
For being so flagrantly ignorant
If they would only hear with
If they would only understand
Then maybe what is being said
Would seep into their thickened heads
Saving them from a world
Of minutia and mundaness.

Showing them all that it is I
That rises in the east and sets in the west
That it is me and my words that they must
Pay any and all homage to
My narcissistic underpants give me the strength
To believe in any and all of my own bullshit
When I am wearing them I can do no wrong
When I am wearing them I am abundantly right…




Narcissistic Underpants
Written by Keaton Foster Copyright © 2012.