An interview with the Devil

Part 1: From Heaven to Hell


Me: Hallo and welcome to An Interview With The Devil. I got the Devil with me today, thank you for coming.


Lucifer: You are welcome and just call me Lucifer. The Devil sounds so formally.


Me: So Lucifer, you are world known as not only the Devil but also Satan, the Dark Prince and many other names.


Lucifer: That is correct.


Me: And also as the one that defied God.


Lucifer: That is correct as well.


Me: So did you really defy God?

Lucifer: (Smiles) In some way yes, but it didn’t exactly happened as you have been told.


Me: So how did it happen?


Lucifer: A long story short, a party.


Me: A party?


Lucifer: Yes, with the Easter Bunny, his name is Fred by the way.


Me: The Easter Bunny? But isn’t Easter the time where it is celebrated that Jesus rose from the dead?


Lucifer: No, Jesus never died. It was a bad joke that went wrong.


Me: Oh, really?


Lucifer: Yes, but that is another story. As I said it started with a party at Fred’s house. Fred makes the most amazing home brewed aquavit.


Me: He knows how to do that?


Lucifer: Of cause, he is German after all.


Me: The Easter Bunny is German? But isn’t he a holiday symbol?


Lucifer: He didn’t start out like that. It was simply a mix of a bet and his love for bunnies.


Me: What kind of bet?


Lucifer: I have confidentiality about my work so I can’t tell you.


Me: Of cause. Then what happened at the party?


Lucifer: Yes, yes, the party. As told Fred makes one hell of a good aquavit and it is the strong one too. We all had a good time and got plenty to drink, the problem is that Jahve, or “God” as you call him, is a bit of a, well… lets just say that he can’t drink that much.


Me: So God drinks?


Lucifer: Of cause, just between you and me, I have heard that he has been on rehab more than once.


Me: Oh, well…. We shouldn’t talk about his personal life.


Lucifer: Okay then, where was I, yes. We got a lot to drink and we all got drunk, some more then others, but it was when it went a bit wrong. Jahve gets a little stubborn when his is drunk and we ended up discussing just about everything. Unfortunately Maria was mentioned.


Me: Maria? As Ave Maria, Jesus mother?


Lucifer: Yes, that Maria. Maria and Jahve had a “relationship” once, but she dumped him and ran of with Joseph. She later found out she had gotten pregnant and well, you know what happened.


Me: Yes, I guess so.


Lucifer: But anyway, Maria is a somewhat taboo subject to talk about when you are around Jahve. So you can imagine what happened when she was mentioned. Jahve got pissed of and since I was drunk as well I ended up saying something’s I shouldn’t have said, after that it all went pretty fast.

Me: He kicked you out?


Lucifer: No, he fired me.


Me: Fired you?


Lucifer: Yes all that talk about being kicked out of heaven, pure nonsense. It is all some kind of “business.”


Me: Okay, well… But then how did you end up being known as the Devil?


Lucifer: I started Hell of cause.


Me: You started hell?


Lucifer: Yes, Jahve got Heaven, so I thought why not tease him a bit. So I started up Hell, and I got to tell you it has become rather popular.


Me: Popular? But isn’t hell where all the bad people go?


Lucifer: That is a small misunderstanding. You see, Heaven was originally where all of those who believed in Jahve and all that came to. All of them who did not follow his ideas had nowhere to go, so they ended up coming to me instead.


Me: But then what is hell like?


Lucifer: Warmer, more beer and more parties than in Heaven.


Me: So people aren’t getting tortured and so?


Lucifer: Of cause not! How are they then supposed to work?


Me: You work in hell?


Lucifer: Yes, just like in heaven. In reality it isn’t that different from the life up here.


Me: I see. Unfortunately it looks like the time for today’s show is up. Thank you for coming and hope you will join us next week.


Lucifer: Of cause I will. This is rather fun.


Me: Glad you think so. This was all for today’s show. See you next week for another episode of An Interview with the Devil.