I’ve been divorced for almost a year. Someday I hope to remarry. Until then I plan to thoroughly enjoy having a bedroom and bathroom all to myself. Only when you’re single after more than two decades of marriage can you appreciate the simple pleasures of having an entire queen size bed to yourself or the silence of no one snoring next to you. I can have a fight over the covers and be guaranteed to win. Being on my own grants me double the closet space and twice as many sinks. The shower is full of my toiletries and the air is perfumed with my candles. I can go to bed when I want and get up when I want and no one else’s alarm disturbs me. The cat doesn’t get underfoot because there’s simply more space at the bottom of the bed. I can watch TV as late as I want at night and not have to worry about the volume. I have complete control over the remote. I can decorate my room in lace and satin and not have to worry about a testosterone backlash. All the storage space is mine. There’s never a set of dirty socks on the floor. I can squeeze the toothpaste tube any way I choose. No one complains about the fog of hairspray or the amount of time I take to get ready in the morning. It’s pure heaven. It’s absolute paradise. The only thing that could make it any better would be to have someone to share it with…..
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