Capitalists in Space!

              "Captain the previous alien civilization we visited has
              launched a fleet of warships to retrieve the Princess Sarah."
              The ensign stood at attention in her red mini shirt and black nylons
              with matching black knee high boots. Her bra pointed her breasts
              forward under her red blouse.

              "Fire rear torpedoes! The Princess has sanctuary on this ship."
              Captain Frizzle was fearless and very dashing.
              "Captain need I remind you this is a mission of peace.
              We are the first interstellar Earth ship and as such should
              be emissaries of good will to other cultures on new worlds."
              His second in command Devo was a Hindu and pacifist.

              "Blast your Hindu mysticism! The Princess is mine!
              And she wants to stay with me on this mission. Got it?"
              Captain Frizzle signed some documents on his clip board
              and handed them to the curvy ensign.

              "Let's go over there. That looks like a class m planet."
              The Captain fiddled with his touch screen on his command chair.
              "We are under attack from the fleet pursuing us sir." Devo spoke calmly.
              "Alright-alright let's fire all torpedoes and hide behind that moon."
              Captain Frizzle tapped on his touch screen with his favorite writing pen
              as the scout ship followed his commands.

              "Did you know that John Hamilton wrote the Constitution?" Devo said
              as he fired off a barrage of torpedoes.
              "What? Look at your screen! We have a line! Go! Go! Come-on!"
              The Captain was clearly agitated.
              "I've been studying American history to understand why you insist on
              antagonizing every indigenous culture you encounter." Devo gave a
              devilish smile as he launched more torpedoes.
              The cabin lights flashed as the enemy fleet returned fire.
         
              Sarah scurried up next to the Captain her centipede legs wrapped
              about his chair. "I will die by your side my love!" she clicked.
              The universal translator in the Captain's ear moved him to tears.
              They kissed. She spread her pincers to allow him access to her lips.
              "She's a Tule, Captain. You are two entirely different species.
              You must return her to her own kind." Devo looked sternly at the Captain.

              "I know what I'm doing! Now hail the commander of the pursuing fleet."
              The Captain's commands were final.
              "You will return our Princess! We must have her. She is our next Queen."
              the alien's voice clicked.
              "I will return Sarah to you in exchange for a supply of your Hiper-drive."
              the Captain's voice was firm.
              "You do not love me?" Sarah arched to strike a deadly blow with her
              pincers.
              "You know I love you. But, you must return to breed a new generation
              of Tules. I will always love you." The Captain snipped off a locket of his
              hair and fed it to Sarah, honoring her people's mating ritual..
              "Thank you. I lust to bite off your head, but I know you cannot grow
              another. I will return to the hive and make the name of Frizzle immortal."
              Sarah could not weep. She had no tear ducts and scurried off to an
              escape pod.

              Devo wept, "That was the sweetest thing."
              "Yeah. How much hyper-drive did we get?" Captain Frizzle replied.
              "About 20 kilo. I think you are a son of a bitch." Devo said with a smirk.
              "Hey. That hyper-drive is worth a million credits. Let's keep it real."
              Captain Frizzle stretched back in his command chair and folded his
              hands behind his head with a big toothy smile.
              "Let's get over to that m class planet. Maybe we can screw the natives
              out of something." the Captain smirked.


              + v
                V