Chapter 9

Two or three days! What in the hell am I going to do for that long stuck in this damn hospital! That’s what the doctor just told me. There is no way I can last that long without doing something.

I see Tom and his girls peeking into the room, so I call them in for a visit. I needed some company but immediately regretted it as those two balls of fury started jumping up to hug me.

Sucking in a deep breath, “Hey my two munchkins. I love you too, but can you please get down. As much as I love my hugs they hurt right now, but I promise you can make them up to me later on.”

Just looking at those two faces with a hurt expression on them makes me cry out in pain. “But I do need your help right now. I got this need to watch some SpongeBob. Think you can figure out this remote thing and see if it is on for me while I talk to your daddy?” I said trying to redeem myself.

Glancing over at Tom, I noticed that he had both my duffel bag and laptop case in his hands. “I was going to ask you to grab me some stuff, but looks like you already did. Thanks. Now either get out of my mind or pay rent!” I said as my spirits lightened up some by seeing my laptop case. Now I can check my email and see if Raven ever responded.

Tom chuckled as he hands me my laptop. “I figure you could do without the clothes, but I know you would want this. I put all the paperwork from the accident in the side pocket for you. And Tracy took the time to call your appointments and let them know what happened and will help you reschedule them for you when you get the chance.”

“Thanks man. For everything you did yesterday. I’m glad it was you that got the call. By the way, what’s the deal with your partner and that warning?”

“She isn’t your type. She has a good head on her shoulders and personally I think she is too good for you. Besides I think she is starting to become interested in somebody and I still have to meet him to lay down the ground rules.” Tom said in a low seriously threaten voice.

“It’s ok buddy, my thoughts have been elsewhere anyways. Now as much as I would love to be mushy and visit with you, I think the drugs are making me tired. I just want to rest some.” I said in a fake tired voice.
Laying there dozing off, I wondered how she might have responded. We had a nice cyber sex thing going on and I’m betting I dropped the ball with that living in Georgia remark. What if she was some foreign mail order bride, looking for an easy way to get into the States? Did I lead her on to where she thinks I’ll fly her over here?

Waking up a few hours later when the nurse came in to check on me, I decided I had to know. Watching my laptop boot up I thought about how I was going to take care of myself once I got out. I was in pain every time I got up to walk and how was I going to take a shower with my arm the way it was?

I have mail! She did answer me; feeling like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders I quickly clicked on the message to read her response. And that was not what I was expecting!

She wants to know about me? I have to admit I was intrigued about her and by the looks of this email she was also interested in me. But did she mean the state of Georgia or the country?

**********
To Raven007

Your email was not what I expected. It has thrown me for a loop, but yet I feel you made some valid points which should be addressed.

I will help you understand me as best as I can right now.

I never thought of Raven as your giving name, I just assumed it was a screen name like mine. It is a very unique name and I like how it sounds. I bet it describes your beauty as well as your spirit and temper. I have my own demons to work out right now, but I will tell you my name when I feel comfortable that I’m ready to take that step.

About me? I can let you know that I think I’m a decent guy. Somewhere around the 6 foot area, slightly on the out of shape side but still healthy by most standards. Brownish hair, green eyes, a haggard look right now, but I try to keep my outer physical appearances clean and tidy.

I’m not sure why I started chatting with you. That first night in the chat room I was just looking for somebody to talk to. Normally after that I tend to forget about it and move on but yet I liked talking to you so openly and freely.

I’ve enjoyed the emails we had going on and they have helped me get over certain things and I now look forward to what future ones brings from you. I would like to know more about you and open myself to you also, but I neither want to push it or go to fast right now, hence why I’m still being secretive.

And last about Georgia. I’m assuming you meant the state. If that was not the case and you live in the country of Georgia, I hope you can understand when I say that the emails are nice and all, but if you are looking for something more and a way to immigrate to the U.S., I suggest you try that with someone else.


For now,
H.

**********

As I hit the send button I started second guessing myself and my actions. Do I want to let go of my past in hopes of something new and unknown. How will she react to the true me and not what I portray online. And how am I going to make by when I get out.

-------------------

"Hello?"

"It's me, Tom." My voice cracked a little and I tried to hold it together.

"What the hell, Raven! What's wrong?" I could hear Tom's keys jingle over the line and I knew he was about to leave.

"I'm an idiot, that's what's wrong." I paced the living room floor, too agitated to sit down.

"I'm getting in the car and I'm coming over. I'm going to hang up while I'm driving."

"Thanks, Tom." I could feel a slight bit of relief that he would be with me but not enough to keep me from pacing nonstop. I hung up the phone and reread the lines from Highlander's email in my head.

How could I have been so stupid? He actually thinks I'm a mail order bride? Did he really think I'd keep having the regular emails with him after that?

My mind began to find fault with every email exchange that we had. I was right, he definitely formed an opinion of me. He just formed the wrong one.

I really didn't have anyone but myself to blame. If you talk like a slut, people will think you are one.

I paced for I don't know how long before I heard Tom at the door. I opened it, let him in and continued walking back and forth aimlessly.

Tom put his hands on my shoulders, stopping my precious pacing and stared at me. "Start talking."

"I screwed up, Tom. Remember what you told me about that guy?" I watched Tom nod before I kept going. "Well I decided to send him an email asking to get to know him a little better. He wrote back that he didn't want to give his name yet and then he wrote something warning me that he wasn't interested in a mail order bride."

Tom's face turned a shade of red that I hadn't seen before. His brows furrowed and he flared his nostrils.

Well, he can't get much madder than this. Might as well tell him the rest. "Then he ended it by telling me that he'd like to continue with our more provocative email chats and that he was looking forward to my response." I wouldn't look Tom in the eye. I was too embarrassed.

"I should have known this was a bad idea! I really liked him but he isn't looking for something more." The words stung. This was what I feared. He didn't reject me out right, but he brought things back to where we started. How does he think you get to know someone if all you do is send emails about sex?

By the time I looked up, Tom had managed to turn a deeper shade of red. I saw his face for a few seconds before he pulled me into his chest. "Raven, he's a jackass, a jackass who's going to have a problem getting my boot out of his rectum, but a jackass nonetheless."

He pulled us down onto the couch and put his arm around my shoulder. "You're smart, funny, strong, beautiful and sweet. If he wants to be an idiot, let him. You've got too much going for you to worry about some jerk online."

"If I'm all that, why am I still alone?" I leaned my head on Tom's shoulder and pondered the things that I saw as my flaws, making me unattractive and undesirable.

"You're alone because you won't put up with shit like that guy is flinging. Maybe you should talk to Dr. Lucas. Have lunch with him one day or something."

"You want me to ask him out? Are you crazy?" I was mortified. I'd never asked a guy out in my life. I wouldn't even know what to say. "There's no way a guy like that could be single."

"Funny, he said the same thing to me about you." He hunched his shoulder, his little way of trying to emphasize his point. "Not everyone is single because there's something wrong with them. Some people are single because they'd rather wait than take whatever passes in front of them. Some are like you and Dr. Lucas; you have crazy schedules and lots of responsibilities."

Another hunch of his shoulder and a light noogie were delivered. "Don't let this guy make you doubt yourself. Not when there guys out here in the real world falling over themselves for a chance to get to know you."

"You must really like Dr. Lucas to speak like this. Or are you saying this because you know I'll never act on it?" I raised an eyebrow, feeling just a bit lighter as we played our verbal tennis match.

"Dr. Lucas is a respectable man. He doesn't chase women like a dog and he's good at what he does. When he asked about you, he did it in a polite way. He's interested and I think you should at least talk to him the next time we're there."

"I don't know, Tom. I feel like the biggest, lamest loser on the planet right now." I was still embarrassed, but I was grateful that Tom didn't ask for more of an explanation of the contents of our earlier emails.

"Raven, there's nothing wrong with you. That guy's an idiot and he doesn't know what he's missing. Just think about Dr. Lucas. He's the first guy to approach me about you in a way that I was comfortable with."

"So he has the Tom seal of approval?" I had to laugh and I expected what came next. Tom pinned my arms in his grip and started tickling me. "I'm too old for tickling, Tom! Save it for the girls!" He stopped, nearly laughing hysterically.

"Feeling better? 'Cause if I catch you feeling sorry for yourself, I'll beat your ass worse than I'll beat this guy's if I ever meet him."

That's my Tom!

We sat and talked for a while longer. Tom did his best to push my insecurities out of my head and to give me a list of positive things about me. By the time he left, I was feeling better.

I lounged on the couch for a while and tried to think of what I could possibly say to Dr. Lucas that wouldn't make me sound like an idiot. For the first time in weeks, my email was the furthest thing from my mind.

I wonder if he owns a Sony?