Recovery (edited)

I walk around in the darkness. I see what I used to be and I used to do. I looked so pitiful. I’m ashamed of what I was. I go over old memories of painful events. How can life be so cruel? I was care free and happy. Now I’m scared and wounded. My heart has been torn and I am still at odds with myself. God how can you be so cruel? I worshiped you, I loved you! Why do you repay me like this? I start to walk away when I saw something. It was a light hidden in the darkness, a memory. I see myself, alone and in pain. Then I see myself helping out, giving my time to help those in need. I see myself donating my blood and telling my coach “I’d rather save a life than start in a game.” I see myself giving advice to those younger than me. I tell them to be strong and to shine. I smile; maybe there is a reason for all of this. I may have been broken, but now I can build a better me. I will be stronger and loving. I turn and walk to the line that separates the light from the dark. I stand there staring into the darkness. “It’s time to go,” said a girl standing on the light side of the line. I shed a tear and stand there for a few more minutes. I walk over the line and grab her hand. “Your right,” I said “it’s time to move on.” The two of us walk towards the light and disappear in it.

Through that time it was so easy to just give up. It was hard to see any hope or the light. I understand how some of you feel. Life is a bitch at times, but I want you to take all of your bad memories and look at the outcomes. Do you see the same thing I have seen? There was a light, but we were blinded by our pain and we couldn’t see it. I know how it feels to have your world torn down and you feel like you have nowhere to go. I understand a lot of these feelings. Hell, I was suicidal at one time. That’s why you need to look back on these experiences. You need to see what came out of them.

The pain you went or even go through make you stronger. It has to happen and there is nothing we can do about it, but we can control how we react to them. I know I reacted horribly and almost failed. That’s why we need to learn from our pain. The only way we can become better both mentally and emotionally is to go through pain. I know it sucks, I have been there. Understand, I hat seeing people in pain, but you need to get through it. Because I didn’t take my life I am becoming a decent writer. The pain I went through has contributed to my writing and I bet the pain you went through has helped you out somehow. You are strong and you can take a lot. Don’t give in. You will regret it later on. No one likes pain, but they acknowledge the good that came from it. Allow your pain to drive you to do something great. I know that sounds weird, but pain forces you to outlet your emotions. By using outlets to control your emotions you find out what you are talented at.  Pain is temporary. There is always a light through the darkness and pain. You just have to find out what that light is.