To Be Me

I found myself hiding today,
turned down low,
And yet a part of me yearned
to be seen and felt,
Like steam…rising at first,
then settling deep within the lungs,
but not soothing.

It would feel more like suffocation.
I closed my heart today to the pounding
sensation beneath my chest.
A part of me just wanted to be heard.
Like the ticking of a clock,
Just waiting, moment after moment.

I found myself broken today,
shattered from the deafening sound of sirens
shrieking in my head,
just as any warning would.
One feels a sense of duty to defend anything
that is personal and close.

A part of me wanted to be healed,
just for today.
I found myself choking on smoke,
gasping for one last breath of purity.
And in between breaths I discovered
the oxygen that was needed to survive.

I took a deep breath.
I let myself in...
in that moment I let myself live.

And now I long to be found,
I long to be myself again.



(For my younger brother and sister who both died 2 years ago.)