The Mask

There it sat on the desk staring at her. It’s beady eyes pierced into hers. She knew what it wanted, what it longed for but she let it sit there. She no longer needed it. She no longer needed its secrets, its safety, its kind words. She left it there day in and day out. It grew dusty. It’s color a little distorted.
Some days she could hear its voice.
“Give me another chance.”
“One more shot.”
“We were great together.”
“Don’t you miss me?”
“Just an hour of your time please.”

Every day she just walked past it. She didn’t want to pick it back up. She couldn’t wear it again. She didn’t want to carry it around. She left it there for a reason and didn’t need it to take up space every where she went again. For once in her life she was happy without it. She could see herself smiling more. Things were changing. Her hair was different; her body was starting to have shape again. There was pep in her step and a glow to her skin.
But still she could hear it’s temptations calling after her.
“I made you better.”
“ I made you invincible”
“I made you bulletproof.”
“Without me one day you are going to fall again.”
“They’ll figure you out, give it time.”

Tired of hearing it’s taunts she moved it to the top of the bookshelf. “There, now you can’t reach me,” She said to it smiling as she walked away.

Time went on. She grew stronger. She was gaining friends. She was feeling free. Road trips, opportunities, life, growth, love and feelings of joy filled her soul. Things would get tough, but she faced them like a champ facing the biggest race of his life. She did not always win or even place in the top three, but she could always walk out with her head high.

Months passed. Boys came and went, life rolled along the hills and valleys and she didn’t hear the small voice high up on the shelf waiting to drag her back in.

She was sure it had disappeared from her life for good until one night.
She walked into the room, tears streaming down her face. Her make-up running down her cheeks. Confused, hurt and upset, she sat on her bed.

“I’m still here.”

She could hear it’s faint voice from the shelf. “Leave me alone. I don’t need you, I’ll get through this alone,” She yelled out.

“You think that, but I’ve been watching you from up here where you perched me. I’ve been waiting to see how far you’ll let them push you before you come back to me. It’s getting tougher for you to keep getting up. I’m telling you, I can help make it easier,” it whispered.

She could feel the comfort rising up in her. It was sweet talking its way back in.

“Last time you ended up hurting more than I could had ever imagined. I walked away for a reason,” She said the tears still streaming down her face.

“Six months gives the heart time to grow fonder. Don’t you remember all the good tiems we used to have? The smiles, the laughs? Don’t you remember the late nights that seemed to never end followed by the effortless early mornings we pulled off together? We were an unshakeable duo until you let everyone separate us,” it said. Its voice was getting stronger, feeding off her desire to pull it back into her life.

She heard it. She let her mind wander to how easy it was for the two of them to take on the bad and the good situations. She could feel its comfort on her cheekbones. The tenderness of the caress it used to hold around her jaw line. She could feel the warmth it used to embrace her in. How great those memories were and how quick they could overshadow the deceits, the pains and the sadness they held together.

“What do you say we try again?” It called out in the silence of her memories. “Whatever it is you are going through now I can help get you through it, I promise I’ll get you through it.”

She got up from her bed.

Her heart was racing.

Maybe this time it would be different.

She took a few steps over towards it. She could do this. It could be better this time, she could always leave it behind for good again. How hard would that be?

“Let’s do this,” She said reaching for the mask, she once wore off the top of the shelf.

She held it in her hands. “Let’s do this,” she said once more. Slowly she moved the mask to her face placing it back into each curve and wrinkle. She could feel the warmth.

“Good girl,” It said hugging her face. “Now let’s try this again. I will keep you hidden. Your secrets are mine; no one has to know that we are in this together.”

They were in this together. The girl and her mask could take on the world. They would be invincible. She would hide behind its features letting no one touch her. If only she knew the loneliness it would bring back. The fears of being called a fraud, she could save herself. But no, the warmth, the tenderness, the caress, those things were tangible, they didn’t hurt. Those were the things she could feel, the things she wanted, the comfort she needed. Her life, her mask, they were once again reunited.