Deliverance, continued

Deliverance - continued



I didn't sleep the night before my Kriya Yoga initiation. The next day, I was sitting with
the other initiates. We were waiting to go into the chapel for the initiation. The wall in front of me came alive and began moving in waves and circles.

I was at a meditation in Lancaster and Rem was using his arm rest to practice the Aum technique. I asked Sri Sri Daya Mataji to give me a sign that she could hear me. Rem dozed off and his arm rest fell loudly to the floor.

My friend, Ujal was planning to go to Los Angeles for Convocation. Then he had to
cancel at the last minute. The next day, I was working at the postal service and saw a mail pouch for Los Angeles. The thought of going to my first Convocation became overwhelming.

I called Ujal and he sold me his plane ticket. The next day I was standing in front of Master's tomb at Forest Lawn. I was crying and my head fell forward and bumped against his metal name plate.



Three years later, it was my last day at the postal service before leaving for Convocation. I was sitting on a fork lift and went into ecstasy. Someone said that
I looked like I was in another world.

I didn't know it yet, but that would be my last day working for the postal service.
A few months earlier, I was sorting mail in the truck terminal. I was looking across the white mail containers and I had a premonition that I wouldn't be working there much longer.

I took Richie with me to Los Angeles and we took a bus to Disneyland. It closed at midnight and there weren't any more buses running. We shared a fifty dollar cab ride with a couple downtown to our hotel.

The night before the end of Convocation, I didn't have any money for a hotel room. Richie and I slept in the fifth floor lobby at the Bonaventure Hotel where Master's photographs are displayed. A security guard woke me up but his boss allowed us to stay there for the night.

I had planned to cash a savings bond earlier in the day to pay for our hotel room. But I went into ecstasy after a Kriya ceremony and never made it to the bank.

I spent our last fifteen dollars on bus fare to the airport and dinner for Richie. We arrived in Baltimore the next morning. We ate crackers at a fast food place in the airport while we waited for Elsie's friend Andy to pick us up.

I soon resigned from the postal service and returned to Los Angeles. I ran out of money again and called the retreat at Encinitas. They had a room available for one night. I bought a train ticket there with my last twenty eight dollars.

It was two miles from the train station to the retreat. My suitcase was too heavy to carry and I hid it in some bushes near the station. I started walking along the beach to the retreat. The night sky was filled with birds and I heard the sound of Aum and I saw the SRF lotus towers on the cliffs ahead.

The next morning, I walked to a secluded part of the beach below the retreat. I picked up a walking stick that was laying in the sand. I saw a young man in a grotto. He was bare chested with long copper hair and was sitting in the lotus posture.

He watched me as I walked past and I apologized for disturbing him. He shrugged his shoulders. It was Mahavatar Babaji, but I didn't realize it until after I had left. I went back to the grotto but he was gone. I walked to the visitor center in town and found out that Hidden Valley was only thirty miles away and started walking there.





A week later, someone from Hidden Valley gave me a ride to the train station. I got
my suitcase out of the bushes where I had left it. We stopped at Encinitas and I saw a girl who had been there on retreat since the night that I stayed there. It was strange seeing her again. It seemed that much more than a week had passed since I had been there.

I was only allowed to stay at Hidden Valley for two months because of Sean and Richie. I received an insurance check in the mail and went to Los Angeles. I stayed at the Hotel Stillwell for a few days. I ran out of money and then I was homeless in Los Angeles for forty days.

I remembered Master's story about the two penniless boys in Brindaban and didn't ask anyone for food or money. I also turned down a job offer from a monk at Mount Washington. The difference between me and other homeless people was that I could have called Mom to send me money to come home. She was always there when I needed money,

I would go to the Hollywood temple in the evening and then walk around all night. A homeless guy grabbed me late one night. He took my wallet but there was no money in it and he gave it back to me. Then he became friendlier and asked if I was homeless. He was hungry and I gave him some coins, but he didn't want to take them at first.

I almost got beat up about a half dozen times while I was homeless.

A different minister would give a sermon before the meals at the soup kitchens.
I would sleep at the train or bus station until the security guards came and told me to leave. I didn't stay overnight at the shelters but I would go there in the morning for a shower.

A few days before Christmas, I found out about a place that provided temporary rooms for homeless people and got a room there. There was a movie theater on Sunset Boulevard. The marquee was advertising the twentieth anniversary of the movie "Star Wars" on January 31st. Whenever I walked past the theater, there was something about that date that caught my attention.

I waited five months for my pension check from the postal service. It came on January 31st and I returned to Harrisburg. I found out later that January 31st is also Sri Sri Daya Mataji's birthday.




Richie was two and we were getting ready to go sledding. I went in the bathroom for a
minute. When I came out, the front door was open and he was gone. I ran outside
and it was snowing. I could barely see him. He was two blocks away and running towards the hill.

We were sledding another time. We were halfway down the hill and going too fast.
I grabbed Richie and rolled off the sled. I ended up on top of him and he was face down in the snow. He wasn't moving and I thought he was hurt. I pulled him up and he was laughing.

Sean swallowed a bottle of childrens' aspirin. The poison center told me to give him ipacac to get the aspirin out of his stomach. In The Philippines, he fell down a flight of stairs in our apartment. He broke his clavicle and it was a miracle that he didn't hit his head on the way down.

He was riding his bicycle.and a car went off the road and hit him He was alright but he went to the hospital in an ambulance. Jennifer was at work. I picked her up and we went to the emergency room. He was on a bed waiting for the doctor and he was crying.

We were on the subway when he was a little boy. The seats were all taken. We were standing and I was holding his hand. It became crowded and I couldn't see him anymore but I still had hold of his hand. It became less crowded. A lady sitting near us laughed when Sean appeared as if from nowhere and gave us a smile.

We were bowling and Richie rolled his bowling ball and went running down the lane after it. I caught him before he he got too far. Then I slipped and fell flat on my back and pulled him down on top of me.

Sean's teacher asked me about a band aid that had been on his neck for awhile. He
had told her that he had gotten cut climbing over a fence. I asked him and he told me about a mole on his neck. He was putting a band aid on it so that no one at school would see it. We went to the doctor and had the mole removed.




On the hurricane deck at Niagara Falls with Sean and Richie. A wild deer ate from Sean's hand on Skyline Drive in Virginia and a bear cub ran in front of our car. Another bear cub ran past me at Yosemite.

We were driving back from Myrtle Beach and Sean almost walked into a deer on a hiking trail in Virginia. We were at the Baltimore Aquarium and Richie was picked to be in a dolphin show.

After I joined SRF, Richie asked me about our religion. I told him that we were Catholic. I talked to a priest in Penbrook about getting him baptized but he wouldn't because I didn't belong to the church. Later, he was baptized at his friend Lissa's church. Sean was baptized in The Philippines.

I fell and hurt my knee at Ski Roundtop on our first trip down the hill. Richie was disappointed that we weren't going to be able to ski anymore. I told him to keep skiing and I crawled to the first aid station.

I was watching him ski just before I hurt my knee. It was quiet and everything was white and he looked like an angel going down the hill.

Someone ran a stop sign and hit my car while I was delivering pizzas. I bought Richie a computer for his high school graduation with the insurance money from the accident.

Master's "The Second Coming of Christ" was published but I didn't have any money to buy it. Six months later, I still hadn't bought it. Then I went to a meditation in York and Bill gave me a free copy that they had received from Mother Center.

Terry became our mechanic when Mom met his family at a yard sale. We started buying cars from his dad and brother. Mom bought a Grand Marquis for Laura but it was too big for her and Mom gave it to Sean. My good friend, Terry.

I was at a baseball game with Tim and Theresa at City Island. We were sitting by the first base dugout and I told them that we were going to catch a foul ball. Then we almost got hit by one.




I drove cross country to Convocation in 1998 and 1999. I stayed on Route 66 and Interstate 40 from Oklahoma to California. Sand Dunes State Park in Texas. Hot Iowa and Nebraska cornfields. Sand bluffs along the Pacific Coast Highway. Point Reyes lighthouse near San Francisco. Sleeping on the beach and waking up cold and wet in the morning.

I was coming down from Pike's Peak and my engine started racing out of control.
I stopped and turned the engine off and started it again. It was still racing and I started down again. I soon saw what the problem was. I had taken my sandals off and one of them was wedged under the gas pedal.

I got off the interstate in Texas near the Mexican border and was looking for an old Hispanic church. A policeman stopped me and searched my car for illegal immigrants. Then he gave me directions to the church.

Old wagon trails in the Southwest. The beautiful mesas in New Mexico. Driving west on Interstate 10 with Mexico to the south on the other side of the mountains.

There was a state park in the Mojave Desert with snakes everywhere. The park ranger told me that he had only ever been bitten once when he tried to pick one up.

Hermit's rest in the Grand Canyon. Running up the stone steps around a natural dome at sunset. The redwoods at Yosemite. Colorado and Wyoming, then driving all night through Nebraska. Driving home and everything brown and parched until I got to the mountains in Kentucky.

On the way to Yosemite, I spent the night at a rest stop in Camp Angel. The annual Calaveras County frog jumping contest was underway. There was a walk of fame in town with the names of the previous champions.

I left Yosemite and stopped for lunch. I didn't see another place to eat for the next
twenty four hours. I died on a boulder that afternoon and went to heaven, but I couldn't stay there.

I drove all night through the desert and got to Hidden Valley in time for morning mediation with the monks. Playing softball with Brahmachari Lee and the residents at a ball field in Escondido. Brahmachari James saw me throwing away food from my plate. He told me that Divine Mother doesn't want us to waste food.




Some of us were outside at the postal service. Rich Garlington was talking and
I could see his soul. Brother Bhaktananda was giving a satsanga at Convocation and there was a golden light all around him.

I was at the Hollywood Temple and asked to see him. There was a lady waiting who had an appointment with him. She became upset when the receptionist said that I could see him for a few minutes before her.

I told the receptionist nevermind and went outside and Brother Bhaktananda was there. We talked for a while until he went back inside for his appointment.

I was working at a pizza place in San Diego and enrolled in tractor trailer school. I wanted to drive tractor trailer back and forth between Hidden Valley and Harrisburg.

Two weeks later, I went to a Janmashtami service at the Fullerton Temple. The next
day, I was taking the road test for my CDL and jackknifed the tractor trailer.
At lunch time, I checked out of my motel room and got on the interstate for Harrisburg.




John was from Philadelphia and came to some of our meditations in Harrisburg at Farokh's house. Then he became a resident at Hidden Valley. I went there for a visit but I didn't see him at first.

The following week, I went to the chapel for morning meditation. He was standing with
one of the monks near the altar. His father had passed away and they were having an ascension service for him.

I talked to him after breakfast and he was a little shocked that I was there for his father's service. He had been back in Pennsylvania the previous week making the funeral arrangements.

Brenda Rosser was Dr Lewis' daughter and I went to a meditation service at her home in San Diego. She told me that I should go back to Harrisburg to be with Sean and Richie. When Sean and Richie were young, I kept telling them that I was moving to California but I always came back to Harrisburg.

I was at Mother Center for Halloween and someone tapped me on the shoulder.
I turned around and no one was there and I saw Brother Anandamoy looking at me from across the lawn.

I was talking to him at the end of Convocation and went into ecstasy. Then I ate something and it felt like a giant syringe sucked the ecstasy right out of me.

Someone at Hidden Valley told me that he had been there during a wildfire.
I was glad to have missed it. Later in the week, I was walking early in the morning and saw smoke off in the distance. Later, the mountains were on fire.

The police came and asked us to leave but Brother Bimalanda said that we should stay and protect Master's property. He told us to visualize the fire and chant Aum to help put it out. The residents fought the fire when it came close to the buildings in the grove.




We decorated the refectory at Hidden Valley with balloons for a special event. I was cleaning up and Brother Bhaktananda came in for dinner. Some of the balloons had fallen to the floor and I was popping them just as he walked in.

He started eating and I sat down on the other side of the room. There were still some
balloons on the ceiling. Mentally, I asked him to make one of the balloons come across the room to me. A balloon made a bee line towards me and stopped above my head,

Hindus put old flowers in a river or other water after removing them from an altar. One day, I was putting flowers in the creek and someone saw me. The next day, there was a policeman hiding behind the trees waiting for me do it again. But I didn't have any flowers with me that day. Now I make sure no one is watching before I put any flowers in the creek.

Five hundred motorcycles on Interstate 81 escorting a piece of the Twin Towers to Shanksville. I went to school at Bloomsburg for two years when we first moved to Pennsylvania. I went there for the first time in ten years on September 9, 2001.

Storm clouds against the mountains. Birds crawling on the ground like insects.
Driving along the bayou from New Orleans to Biloxi. Daddy fishing with Sean and Richie in Mississippi. Chanting and meditating all night at Virginia Beach.

I was waiting to make a left turn and a motorcyclist came up from behind and almost ran into my car. He skidded and squeezed between my car and a car coming towards us. He kept right on going without missing a beat.

Billboards, road signs and double yellow lines. Driving on the back roads to St Elizabeth's grotto in Emmitsburg. The Appalachian Trail, two thousand miles from Maine to Georgia.

I made a wrong turn and ended up in front of CD East on the last day of school.
Classes were letting out and the kids were celebrating. There were cars parked in the middle of the road. I went up on the curb a little to get around one of them and a teacher saw me.

He came alongside my car and told me to stop. I kept going and he yelled to a policeman who was standing across the street. The policeman was talking with someone and ignored the teacher and I kept going.




In the fall, it is dark when I drive home from work and the lines of headlights and red tail lights are entrancing. The night sky is sacred beyond words.

A boy chasing a smaller boy around a parked car. The smaller boy running for his life. A rabbit chasing another rabbit in circles. Everyone chasing after something.
I was thinking about leaving the Keller house. But in the sweetest voice that I have ever heard, Divine Mother asked me to stay.

I saw Sri Sri Daya Mataji and her eyes were a flame of fire, (Book of Revelation, 1:14.) Master said that we couldn't take the discipline that he gave to her. I looked in the mirror and my eyes were a flame of fire.

When Daya Ma left her body, I felt a jolt at the top of my head and I was in ecstasy for weeks. I had felt a jolt once before at a meditation service during a reading about Swami Sri Sri Yokteswarji initiating Master into the monastic order.

The sparrows came over the bank and flew into the side of my car. Their little heads were bleeding and I moved them over to the grass. Lightning on the horizon, bouncing from mountain to mountain.

The geese flew out of the lake and I heard the sound of Aum as they made three lines across the sky. The road moving like a ribbon over the hills.

I had Sean's cat and kittens in my car. I was taking them to a farm to abandon them and I felt badly about having to do it. Then I saw the spiritual eye and knew that they would be alright.

I fell and broke my ribs and saw Jesus with a spear in his side. I knelt and touched his holy feet. Master wants us to tell everyone to pray for each other and for world peace.

Mom stayed in bed for three months before she let Laura take her to the hospital.
My love for her and Daddy wasn't pure until they were gone. She died and told Laura that everything was the same except that we couldn't see her anymore.

Sean and Richie, I am always with you and God is always with you. Talk to Him.
Master says that God doesn't care what you say. He just wants you to keep talking.

The creek looked naked with the leaves gone from the trees and time stood still.
Fourteen months without losing my seed. Wasps were getting in my room. I tried practicing nonviolence towards them and only got stung once.

There is an East Meadow Drive on the way to the creek. Practicing Kriya Yoga meditation every two hours with the blessings of my Gurudeva. Master and I are one. Sri Mrinalini Ma and I are one.

It was late afternoon in The Philippines and I saw Jennifer's soul. I see an Indian woman waiting for me. She is the most beautiful woman that I have ever seen.
She is my Wife.

I saw eternity at one fifteen in the morning. Everything else is unreal. Sorrows and errors. Nothing I can't handle. One more act of will.