Gravity

      What is gravity?

      You can observe it. But, what is it?

        Many have marveled at the power of gravity in the Heavens.
        The orbit of our planet and this solar system are all governed by gravity.
        Everything rises and falls...

        Where is all this energy coming from?

        Gerard worked hard at this problem. He was a very dedicated scientist.
        At night, while sleeping he could see the formulas for attraction and
        repulsion. His wife Jacqueline was concerned about his mental state.
        Jacqueline was a counselor for stress related work.

        Jacqueline had a beautiful figure and long red hair. She tried to calm her
        husband with guitar playing and nude dancing. It was not entirely successful.
        Gerard insisted on bringing his work home. The walls of his bedroom were
        covered with equations.

        Gerard got drunk and called a California Psychic at midnight;
        1-800-783-2254.
        The psychic said he was feeling inadequate. That his obsession with gravity
        came from a need to feel important. The psychic recalled a childhood event;
        Gerard wet himself, trying to recite the multiplication table.
       
        "That's ridiculous!" he shouted into his phone and hung up.
        He was enraged and snapped a number 2 pencil. A very drastic display,
        since Jacqueline had purchased the number 2 pencils for her multiple
        choice exam and she was wide awake in bed with him.

        Jacqueline stood at the front of their Victorian bed.
        She waved her right index finger at Gerard;
        "Things fall down! Get over it!"
        Then, she stomped out of the room to the veranda
        and played her guitar.
        She sang, "Stairway to Heaven".

        Gerard knew his marriage was at the breaking point.
        The pencil he snapped was a flash point.
        In a moment of clarity Gerald threw himself off the veranda.
        The front veranda was only two steps up from the lawn.
        He landed on his secretary spread .
        Years of sitting had provided Gerard with a well cushioned butt.

        Jacqueline laughed and Gerard laughed with her.
        "Solar particles... maybe that is the bonding material?"
        Gerard mumbled as he brushed off his butt.
        Jacqueline rolled her eyes and started playing her guitar again.
        She sang, "Lucy in the sky with diamonds".


        ~~~
          <^>