Citizen's Arrest

         Parked on the side of a downtown street, Coral frantically applied her lipstick in the rearview mirror. Then, she snatched her chocolate bar and fled the vehicle. Pacing down the walk, she gobbled it up.
         She wadded up her wrapper and dropped it on the ground casually, hoisting her purse up on her shoulder. She was late for her meeting and expected an ass-chewing. She loathed listening to Mr. Sterling prattle on as he adjusted his toupee nonchalantly, feigning an itch or a headache. Sometimes, she came within an inch of snatching it off his head and making him chase her down the hallway like a schoolyard game of keep away--childish, but entertaining no doubt.
         "Hey!" came from behind her.
         Oh no, she thought, and pictured a police officer eagerly whipping out his ticket-book. She turned around, then glared with annoyance at a man in a black suit, definitely not a cop. "What do you want?" she said, more curious than compliant.
         "You littered! Pick it up!" He was trembling, with a finger pointed back at the monstrosity, his face twisted into disgust.
         She was astonished at the gravity of his demeanor.
         Coral was a recovering pottymouth and did her best to never swear, but at that moment she couldn't help herself. "Who are you, Smoky the fucking Bear?"
         "Don't insult me! I want my city to be clean. For the love of God pick up that wrapper! I would myself, but I can't handle other people's filth." He shuddered, which baffled Coral further. The man was insane.
         She told him to go to hell, then turned to speed-walk away, frightened. However, her hair yanked her backward violently, slamming her to the ground.
         "This is a citizen's arrest!" he said, drawing a knife.