Ups and Downs of Teenage Life Part II

I am lost, I am vain, I will never be the same Without You

David Guetta and Usher - Without You

I, Jonothan Raymond Swallow, am a simple guy. I'm a good kid who gets good grades, who loves all my friends and family and I try my best to keep out of trouble. It hasn't been the easiest of lives for me; my dad walked out on me when I was 3 and my stepdad is a real jerk towards me. All of these years the only thing that kept me going was Danielle, she was my best friend. I call some of the guys my best friends but in reality that was Danielle. I'd shared so much with her over the years and she is the only person I have ever cried infront of. I remember when we were 13 years old and I learnt that my real dad had killed himself in America, it devestated me and I never even knew him. That night instead of turning to my mum I went to Danielle and we just sat up all night as I poured my heart out to her as I was sobbing, she never made me feel embarrased about it. That was the sort of girl my Dannii was, sweet and kind and never had a bad thing to say about any one (except for Gabby Johnson). So why, this summer after 13 years of solid bestfriendship did she suddenley tells me she couldn't be friends with me that we'd be better off apart

I cried that night, but too myself in my bedroom as I did not have Danielle to turn to. I don't think that she realises how much I needed her and she'll have no clue that my heart is breaking without talking to her. My little sister, Louise, is just 14 and she is pretty much ready to pounce on Danielle as soon as she lays her eyes on her. I'm not normally like this, I'm quite a fun guy normally and at the risk of sounding conceited I'd say I was quite popular at school. I'm just a bit down because of Danielle, well I'm more than down actually. I'm devestated, heartbroken, unhappy, sad and any other angsty words you can think of. But what am I meant to feel? Danielle didn't want to know me and I'm going to miss her so much. Her laugh, her smile, her horrible horrible singing, her bad jokes that I still laugh at, the way she rolls her eyes when I'm in one of my arrogant moods hell I'll even miss her nagging me to concentrate in school

Lee Jones, my second best friend ever, calls around for me every morning so we can get the bus together of couse I'd normally get it with Danielle but she was getting a ride in with her mum today

"Probobaly trying to prolong the lynch mob's attack" said Louise bitterly. Lou was very protective of me, at age 10 she kicked Gabby Johnson in the shins when Gabby spread a rumor about me having crabs. I was 13 for god sake, how would I have got genital warts?

The bus ride to school seemed long and mundane with Lee, Jack, Pete and Jay talking about Saturday afternoons footie match and normally I would happily join in the Cristiano Ronaldo bitching session but I just stare out of the windows thinking about Danielle. I just can't seem to get her out of my mind and I think it is going to drive me mad eventually, I just keep reviewing my behaviour in those few weeks leading up to that fatefull late August day when she declared we should no longer be friends. There was nothing too bad, I'd made fun of her hair one day and I told her to shut up about 5 days before but other than that it was like it always was. Arriving at school late because Jack insisted on buying a large dairy milk chocolate bar I suddenely realised I would have to sit next to Danielle in form

Instead I found Bella Scott sitting in the spot that would usually be occupied by Danielle, I almost called over to Danielle and I think she saw me but I backed away before I said anything. Everyone wolf-whisteled as I sat down next to Bella who went tomato red, bless her. She'd fancies me since primary school and she knew I knew but why should I be mean to her about it? That'd just be cruel, the best thing to do would be to treat her like a friend and that's exactly what I did as we engaged in a conversation regarding Saturday nights X Factor.

"It was nice talking to you Bella" I said as form ended and I had genuinally enjoyed our conversation, she blushed and exited the classroom
"Bella loves Jonny. Bella loves Jonny" came Lee's voice and I thumped him on the shoulder

Making my way to Maths I found myself very close to Danielle who was walking just infront of me. This was so awkward and about five times I cleared my throat in an attempt to make conversation but she just ignored me and it made me get more and more frustrated and then when I felt some tears coming on I barged passed her and made my way towards Maths

"Don't cry. Don't cry" I said wiping my eyes as I walked furiously to the boys bathroom. Screw maths, screw it. No way am I going there in this state, no way am I letting anyone see me cry how humiliating. Locking myself in a cubical I managed to compose myself before getting my phone from my pocket and sending Danielle a text saying "What have I done? Because I seriously think I'm losing my mind over this. Can we talk please? Whatever it is I am so,so, so sorry. Please Danielle, I've locked myself in a cubical in tears. I miss you. Break? Can we talk then?" It was probobaly longer than I intended but I didn't care - I needed to know what I had done that was so wrong