Tested Friendship _PART ONE_

"Do you think i care?"
"I thought you did," i mumbled.
"That's not the point," Jayme grumbled softly.
I looked up. "Yeah well i thought i could trust you. But i guess that's another thing i got wrong."
"You can still trust me zeze." he said, his voice more sincere.
I sighed and shook my head, "i dont think i can."
I knew i hurt him when i said that. but i didn't have a choice, i didn't know what to do. Jayme was my best friend, we knew each other since we were five. but all of the sudden he started acting shady.
"Zeze I-"
"No,"I got up of the rock i was sitting on and grabbed my bag. I had to leave before i could change my mind.
But as i turned to go Jayme grabbed my arm, "Zeze,please."
I gently pushed him away i kept my face down. "Jayme, i can't trust you anymore. If i can't trust you i, i don't know. i just need to go think."
"Hey, hey," he grabbed my arm again. "Zeze, please. Look at me," he gently moved hair out of my face.
I whipped my eye with my sleeve and looked up. "What, you going to tell me it's going to be fine. And and that you will tell me soon. or or that, that we can't be seen together, because it's too dangerous."
Jayme's eyes looked sad as he put his hand in mine. "Don't, leave. Just let me explain,somethings."
I quickly looked down and whipped my eys again taking my hand out of his. "Jayme, i can't. I'm sorry, goodbye."
And i took off running tears making my eyes blurry, i whipped them again. I hear Jayme yelling my name but i ignore it. It killed me to leave him but i couldn't stay with him anymore.
I stopped running once i entered the halls of our school. i quickly and quietly slipped into the janitors closet under the stairs. That secretly led into a small study den hidden by a stack of carpets. I discovered last year with Jayme before he changed. I sat on the old leather chair. I couldn't understand why he was like this.
I jumped when i hear a tap on the door. Three taps and a kick on the bottom. It was a code we made up. I sat still hoping he would leave but he entered. He gave me a 'whats up?' nod and i gave him my best 'go the hell away stare'. He sighed i knew he got the message.
He came over and sat on the arm of the chair,"you don't have to talk to me. But just hear me out Zee."
I glared at him but put my feet up on the old table letting him know i was listening. he sighed, and got up and sat next to my feet so he was facing me. O crap, i thought.
"Listen, Zeezee I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. Ok, and i know you know im sorry. And im sure you know that i know that you know i know that-"
"Just skip to the end Jayme"I said interrupting him.
He laughed,"okay your right. I was going to tell you that it will be alright but i didnt cause i would've lied. I don't know if there will be a happy ending to my problem or not. And i know that i try to stay away from you because, i just don't want you in this."
Jayme was dead serious, i watched him hold his breath as he waited for my respondes. I couldn't stay mad at him, and i couldn't loose my best friend. I sighed.
"How do i know if i can really trust you?" I asked quietly.
He shrugged and looked down,"you don't."
I finally got up and started pacing. I chewed on the inside of my cheek while Jayme watched me carefully. The way he always done. He's always done it since we were kids. Everything we did he was always the one who got the blame. He always blamed himself. He took the blame for me. I stopped pacing and sat next to him.
"Remember when we were little and we went down to the lake alot. We went secretly of course because our parents would freak if they knew where we really were."
Jayme nodded slowly but his eyes were serious. "Yeah, thats all we ever did."
"Yeah, well remember that one time we were hanging out on the old dock we found. And i was afraid to go on it because it was old and pieces were missing."
Jayme nodded again, so i continued. "And you asked me if i trusted you? And i without a pause of hesitantion i grabbed your hand as you led me out on the dock.I trusted you then Jayme, there wasn't a bone in my body that didn't."
Jayme looked down, and smiled slightly.
I sighed, "but there was that one day. We went to the dock and ia bunch of older kids were there. They were teasing you about, well how you hung out with a girl and not with them. i was seven amd you were eight though, but still you stuck by my side." I stopped waiting for his reaction, i knew Jayme forgot about that day because he got hurt protecting me.
Jayme sighed, "some of that i remember yeah."
I chewed on my lip. "Those kids were alot older they were probably ten or twelve. But you stood your ground and when one of them spit on me and called me a freak you punched him before i could blink." i paused and laughed, "it was a pretty damn good punch too Jayme. Then Ronnie the twelve year old punched you in the gut while the others held you."
Jayme blinked, "i don't remember that. But i do remember you kicking Ronnie in the crotch when we went back to school the next week."
I just smiled and nodded i couldn't tell Jayme that he wasn't in school for the next month; because he got so sick with phenomia. "You fell in the lake, do you rember that? You went to get up to protect me and Ronnie shoved you and you fell off the dock. It was frozen til you hit it and it broke. Ronnie ran off cause youmust of hit you head cause when you came up out of the water you head was bleeding. Right there," i paused touching Jayme's threeinch long scar on side of his forehead. Moving his bangs outof his eyes to do so.
Jayme blinked a few times. " You never told me that."
"You were sick for a month, you were in the hospital for a little too." I answered looking down at my hands in my lap.
"Wait,"Jayme said "I remember. you helped me out of the lake and you had a gash on your knee."
I nodded,"yeah and you insisted on carrying me you thought i was hurt."
"Yeah, and i carried you anyway even though my head stung and i couldn't feel me feet."Jayme answered and he grabbed my hand."
"I thought i lost you, i thought i lost my best friend." I answered quietly.
I felt Jayme kiss my head, "It's gonna take alot more then cold water and blood for you to get rid of me ZeeZee."
I let out a long breath, "I'm afraid im going to lose you again Jayme. That's why im asking questions. And ive always trusted you wether i liked it or not. Or wether you liked it or not."
"Good, now i guess were in this together wether i like it or not. Or wether you like it or not."Jayme said standing up.
I stood up too, "I guess so."
"You know i've never met a person that paces as much as you do."Jayme told me later in the secret den.
I guess Jayme was right. I was pacing i was nervous. i was always nervous. Pacing helped come me down in a wierd way. Jayme grabbed my arm and pulled me over towards the couch. I sat down next to him.
"You know what i like about you?" I asked slowly.
"Um, everything. Im irresistable," Jayme said bodly as he put his arm around my shoulder.
I laughed, "Uh, huh, sure. Anyway, I like that you call me ZeeZee. You know without adding some stupid remark after ward like most people in my grade."
He chuckled, "yeah well, I was sorta the one who picked it out for you."
"True, but my mom hates that name. She always so formal she's like McKenzie Rebecca, McKenzie Rebecca, McKenzie Rebecca. It's annoying," I complained using funny voices each time i said my name.
He laughed, "it is pretty bad,isn't it?"
I raised my eyebrows, "but i know the way your parents are with your name."
"Yeah,"he sighed. "I don't get it ya know?"
"What part?" I asked, "becuase there are alot of confusing things about your family."
He put his arm down, and played with his fingers in his lap. "All of it. My dad and my...life. Yeah, my life itself is pretty damn confusing. And i mean you gotta agree with that, right? Cause you pretty much lived it with me."
"I guess yeah. Your dad can send some crazy mixed emotions. And all the sudden you lying and keeping secrets from me. So yeah, i would say your life is pretty damn confusing. Saying you kicked me out of it almost a twö months ago." I answered sarcasticly.
Which was true.Because Jayme and i were always around each other. Alot people thought we were siblings or dating. But Jayme is too much of a older brother to me. So it would be wierd if i dated him. Anywho, i just didn't get it. We tell each other evrything but then he started to ignore me in the halls; and when i asked him what's wrong it was the answer of 'i dont know' or he'd just ignore me.
"Listen, I'm sorry ive been a jerk. I know thats rare for me because usually im protecting you from them. But know, i don't know, i guess i became one of them."Jayme answered looking right at me. Somethign he hasn't done in awhile.
"Why'd you lie to me, and ignore, and...leave me," I said quietly.
He shuddered, "i had no right to do that to you. Im so sorry Zee." He paused and put his hands on either side of my face making me look right at him. "Listen to me though. I may have ignore you at school. Or stop texting you, or maybe at once i stop glancing at you when we were at the town park drawing in your sketch book every thursday. But Zee i would have NEVER, EVER leave you. Do you understand? Please don't ever think anything like that. I'm pretty much born into you, okay."
I pulled him in for a hug, as i felt tears roll down my face. Jayme hugged me back, almost making it feel like he would never let go.
He pulled back whiping the tear of my face with his sleeve. i laughed and so did he. I took breath, "but Jayme."
He cocked his head slightly like a dog listening at it's master. "What ZeeZee?"
"Seriously, i know your protecting me. And i love you for that, but you can tell me. I know your still keeping secrets Jayme."
Jayme sighed, and rubbed his hand over his face. "I need to protect you okay. Thats my main thing. And youre right, i am still keeping secrets, because its too dangerous to tell you everything. They'll know. They'll know i told you if i did."
I sighed and rested my head on his shoulder. "Then what are we going to do?"
"Take it slow," Jayme answered.
"Alright,"I sighed again and got up. "Wanna skip?"
Jayme looked up at me, "no. No ZeeZee you need to go to class."
I raised my eyesbrows and grabbed his hand pulling him up. "Mrs. McHelraine won't miss me that much."
Jayme smiled, "alrighty then. Let's make a run for it."
And we tiptoed down the hall passing the doors of packed classes stuck listening to their teachers. Jayme made me laugh acting like a spy on a mission. He kept rolling down the hall making up spy tunes. When the front enterance came in sight he grabbed my hand and we ran out. Not stopping till we were back in the old tree house in Jayme's back yard.

"Ive missed this place." i said touching a picture of Jayme and me pinned to the wall. I was entering kindergarten and Jayme was entering first grade. Jayme was sticking his tongue out at me because i said i wouldn't hold his hand. So my arms were crossed. But in the picture next to that one, we were holding hands.
Jayme came up behind me and laughed, "I remeber that."
I smiled, "same."
He flopped down on the bean bag chair pulling me down with him. I laughed as we fell. I punched him in the shoulder. And he tickled my side.
"Oh, it's on."Jayme laughed and he pinned me.
"Jayme!"I yelled laughing punching him again. "Your goin break the tree house."
He shrugged as he pinned my arms above my head. "Just like old times."
I laughed and turned pinning him, I nodded. "Oh yeah. Difinantly like old times."
He laughed again tickling me, then pinning me back down under him. "Yeah except back then i let you win."
"Yeah well-"
All the sudden Jayme had his hand over my mouth. And he was reall still, his eyes were suddenly full of terror. He moved real close to me, his familiar smell of shaving cream and leather filled my nose. "Silent."
My eyes got wide, and he removed my mouth. I mouthed 'what's wrong'. But he just shook his head. And silenty mtioned me to crawl in the back of the tree house. there was a secret under compartment that was a bed. He removed the carpet and shelf covering it and motioned for me to get in.
I shook my head but he helped me in gently and leaned in kissing my forehead. "Somethings wrong, don't move. Don't talk, don't come out, no matter what. I will be right back."
Before i could respond he shut the door, and i was left in the dark.

I immeditly started to panick. And i didn't realize i was costerphobic until he left me alone. i breathed in and out in and out slowly. I was trying to stay incontrol. i heard voices i closed my eyes and listened real closely.
"What the hell are you doing here?" It was Jayme he was on the porch of the tree house talking to someone below him.
"Hey, hey, we don't want no trouble Jay D."
"Yeah, Cork Screw's right Jay. Lone Wolf's calling a meeting." Another guy said. The names were difinantly not there real names.
Jayme spoke, "yeah well. You and Screw can get outta here Pop."
The guy called Cork Screw laughed, and i heard Pop talk again. "Take it easy Jay D aw'ight. You're part of us and lone wolf difinantly ain't gunna let ya out."
"Lone Wolf ain't got nothin'on me. And besides, Kris Kross Kevin, and Little Tony are the ones that he should be looking for. I paid my debts and so have you guys. If he want someone to bother he should go to them." Jayme said. I never heard Jayme talk like this before. He sounded tough and scary.
"I'm sorry man, but we're as deep as you are right now," Cork Screw said calmly.
"Aw damn Screw quit talkin' sweet, and just tell him." Pop said angrily.
"Tell me what?" Jayme asked.
I heard one of them cough,"it's Black Ash."
"Lone Wolf says you guys cheated out."
What'd ya mean?" I heard Jayme asked.
"Jay D, you and Black Ash cheated. You never offically got in." I heard Cork Screw say, he sounded worried.
"And Jay D, you gotta be there on pit night or somethin ain't to founds gunna happen. If ya get my wave ya know." Pop answered, he sounded like he started walking away.
"I'm sorry Jay D, i would help but Lone Wolf can't be and won't be cheated on. Not again." I heard Cork screw say and there voices slowly faded away.
I heard Jayme punch the wall of the tree house angrily. i jumped when i heard him come in and sit on the floor. Aftera few minutes of silence i heard him moving the shelf. And again light came in to the trap door. I sat up fast. I hated small spaces.
Jayme was staring of into the distance. I sat next to him and held his hand.
"So Jay D," i said, and i saw Jayme cringe.
"Don't, ever, call me that. Please," Jayme answered closing his eyes, and he was serious.
i started to panick. "Why were they here Jayme. And what kind of names are Cork Screw and Pop and what about Lon-"
Jayme covered my mouth, "somethings are better if i dont tell you. And if you dont ask."And he uncovered my mouth watching me.
"But don't make me assume the worst,"I said quietly.
He shrugged, "sometimes the worse is way better then finding out the truth."