the boy i lost

He doesn't know. That i cried for him. That i prayed for him. For him to take me back. But instead he ignored my messages, which somehow made me feel so much worse. I don't know how much more i can take. Can take- of this pain. of this cryin dyin pain inside me. Wantin to break free. but oh. Im so trapped. so alone. so unwelcomed. but im used to that and oh how i miss your smile. your perfect hair. your sweet brown eyes that somehow could hide-pain. that you felt. That you felt when i left you there without an answer. and yes i swear that i was scared. scared of you leaving me but im the one who left you be. And now i wish you could see that i have changed. That i want you back. in my life. that i need you here.by my side.but oh i guess i was wrong. i guess you were wrong. i guess we oh we were wrong. cause now we've gone our seperate ways. and now. we put so much space. inbetween. in between you and me. and now we cant let it be. it needs to be spurred and tossed and thrown about. until it opens and our feelings spill out. spill out. spill out.
But god this isn't the movies. and so it isn't great. it's not like i ever got a text sayingits a date. i know we wetre different you and i. and deep inside i knew i couldnt lie. couln't lie to my feelings and how they felt. how i felt when we danced together at celebrate. our last year inmiddle school i will never forget. i wouldnt forget how confusing love was. for me and for us. and how we felt when we first broke up. but godi miss you now. and im sure you know. im sure youknow it wasn'tlike a fairytale show.there was no white horse. or potion of love. there was no rose or a signal white dove. we were both ignoring each other still we started to fade like lights going off on a empty stage. its a shame. quite a shame indeed. that i never got to know more then your name. i mean surei knew your allergies and such and amybe your hobbies but not much. i knew you were smart. to smart for me. to smart that you left me stranded in ocean cityand away you went off to tech.and to me when youleft it wasn't much of a threat. until i sat down. and desperately wept.