A Desperate Exit

“Why have we been locked in this room?”

“Just calm down, Patrick. No doubt Michael has a reason.”

“Yes, he has a reason: he’s insane!”

“Stop shouting and relax. You’re completely overreacting.”

“You know I can’t handle small spaces with limited air. If only I could open this window. Why have a window with no latch? It’s nonsensical!”

“Firstly, this room is not that small. Secondly, we're nine stories up. Unless you have a parachute hidden somewhere, I wouldn’t advise trying to jump out of it.”

Patrick continued pacing about the room in a frenzy, pulling at his collar and drawing deeper breaths.

“When’s Michael coming back? It’s been hours.”

“It’s been fifteen minutes, Patrick. Can you please stop pacing?”

“How can you be so unfazed, just sitting there reading that stupid book?”

“If I read a bit aloud, would that help soothe you some?”

“No, it wouldn’t! What would soothe me is Michael opening the door. Who locks his friends in a room, some kind of sadist? I can’t take this anymore!”

“Patrick, sit down for a moment and breathe.”

“I have to get out of here!”

Patrick frantically eyed the window and with one smooth motion grasped a chair and smashed it through the pane.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“I cannot take this any more!”

As Patrick leapt through the window to meet his death on the ground below, Michael appeared at the door smoking a cigar.

“Jesus Christ, what the fuck happened? I finish setting up Patrick’s surprise birthday party and I come back to this?”

“He freaked out, said he couldn’t breathe. I can’t believe he actually did that.”

“But why didn’t he just open the door?”

“He thought it was locked, and I didn’t want to ruin the surprise.”