End This Madness!

Dear Me,

         Okay, seriously. What the heck happened to you last year? You wrote one little story that placed in a site contest and now you think you can impress a wider audience with your work? That's pretty sad, self. You promised to just write as a hobby six years ago to pursue a more socially beneficial career. Since that hasn't worked out quite a quick as you want, you retreat back into writing and let the muses take over. Get a grip. It's time to put away childish things. As 2012 shapes up to be the Year of the Hot Mess, you ought to at least make sure you don't become one of those said travesties.

         Let's start with the whopper. There is that little script project you like to call Endless Night. Your retelling of A Midsummer Night's Dream has been a splinter in your mind since you took that Shakespearian Comedies course in college quite some time ago. Since you seem insistent that it can only be done in a script format, well, April is the time to purge it. That's right. ScriptFrenzy, here I come! This train wreck is going to be written out and then tucked away. Yeah, I said tucked away. No agent in his or her right mind would buy that steaming pile of dung even if forced to do so. So go to a live person write-in to get some realistic critiques. Remember the experiences you had during your college creative writing classes where you sat through physical critiques? That made you decide that writing professionally was not for you even if you aced one class and came extremely close to acing the second. If you're going to put an end to your delusions of writing grandeur, this is the place to start. Just make sure to get your ScriptFrenzy account updated and introduce yourself so you can find the meetups in your neck of the woods. Oh, and make sure the character bible and outline are at least in place by March.

         In line with that is reigning in your fantasy casting tendencies. While we all do it sometimes, your casting thoughts are a little too extensive for anyone's comfort. This is especially true with British actors. We're going to break this habit with a modified swear jar. Yes, if you mention a British actor online or in person, you will put money or gift points into a designated holding area (known as the Brit Jar).  A sliding scale will help reinforce the expense of this habit. A nickel (or gift point equivalent) would be good for a simple name drop. Posting links pertaining to an actor should net a quarter. Any extended discussion of a particular individual merits a dollar in the Brit Jar. Gift points should go toward your contests, and actual monetary contributions should go to the Rainy Day Fund (that bank you and your husband received last Christmas which has a decent amount of change in there right now). If you don't have at least twenty dollars in each pot by April, I'll be so proud of you!

         How are we going to stay on track with these adjustments? We'll have to shift media consumption habits, which we can also include in the Brit Jar contributions. If you find an entertainment magazine featuring an entertainment industry figure you like, put the money you would spend on that item in the Brit Jar. Also make sure to bring a magazine of a completely different topic with you whenever you work out. This will allow you to ignore any entertainment-related nonsense other gym visitors decide to have on while using the elliptical machines. Your best bet for staying on track, though, is tweaking your music choices. You use music to daydream, and a disproportionate number of those daydreams involve having a career in the entertainment business. Time to get a new playlist together and call it Reality Rocks! (TM). Reality Rocks! (TM) will make no sense to random onlookers, but you will know these songs as the tunes that keep you on Earth and focused on more realistic goals. Yes, you will be including rap and classical music on the same playlist. You know you don't operate like most people, and the things that keep you in reality are as varied as the weather conditions in Minnesota on any given day. The other thing you need to do to stay on track is journal far more often, especially about work. You fell off quite a bit last year, and all the daydream triggers got bottled up in your head. Get that crud out of your system sooner rather than later to prevent the delusions from resurging.

         Now don't balk and say this is more behavior alteration than resolution. Isn't that what a resolution is when you get down to the nitty gritty? Either way, you absolutely need to do this so you can provide for your husband emotionally and financially like you seem to want so much. You said earlier than you need to reconcile your dreams with reality. This appears to be the best route to get there. Just stick to this plan, and you'll be dreaming about being an underwriter rather than a screenwriter by Halloween. Go for it!

No pressure,
Me

Word count: 888