A ten-minute comedic play about teenagers Adah and Seth and the book Twilight |
CHARACTERS ADAH is a 16 year old female, slightly reserved, and speaks with a sophisticated tone.SETH is a 17 year old male, and wears baggy jeans. PROPS The book Twilight A lawn chair (Scene: A big backyard with a wooden deck and a fresh cut lawn. There are many flower gardens and a fenced off vegetable garden. There is a fence dividing the yard’s lawn from the neighbor’s. ADAH sits on the deck on a fold out lawn chair. She has her head lowered to a book and her flip flops sit by her next to the chair. SETH comes out of the neighbor house and notices her sitting there. He goes over to the dividing fence and leans on it casually.) SETH Hey Adah. ADAH (Looks up from book with a surprised expression) Huh? Seth? Why are you here? SETH Just thought I’d come over and see what you’re up to. ADAH Oh. Well I’m doing this new thing called reading. I would let you try, but I don’t want you to hurt yourself. (Lowers her head and continues reading) SETH Ouch. (Pause) What’s the book about? ADAH Why should you care? (Looks up) SETH I’m just curious as to what could possibly be more interesting than the ever-sexy me. (Does typical model poses) ADAH Good God! (Sighs) I knew you were only here to bug me. That’s all you ever do. Well, you can go home now. Mission accomplished. SETH Okay. Fine. I’ll behave. (Walks through gate into ADAH’s yard.) Just tell me what the book’s about. ADAH (Considers) Well, it’s about this girl named Bella who moves to Forks- SETH Forks? ADAH Yes, it’s in Washington. Anyway, she moves to Forks to stay with her dad. She meets this really mysterious guy named Edward. She finds out he’s a vampire and he saves her life. Then they fall in love. SETH Hold on, they fall in love? After she finds out he’s a vampire? ADAH Oh, shut up, would you? It’s not like that. It’s a very romantic book. SETH I bet. (As Edward deep voice) Hey babe, wanna get married? By the way, I’m a vampire. (As Bella- girly voice) Of course, I’ve always wanted to spend my honeymoon in a casket. ADAH (Exasperated) No, Edward doesn’t want to turn her into a vampire! He wants her to lead a normal human life. SETH Sure, but he’ll dump her once she gets old and wrinkly. ADAH No, he won’t. And that’s what’s so romantic. He promises he’ll be there for her forever. SETH That’s not romantic, that’s disturbing! Imagine this eternally young guy wheeling around some old prune. All seems fine until he bends down and frenches her! Yuagh! ADAH (Sits up straighter) Oh, you’re so immature. I bet Edward would never say something so vulgar. You are such the typical teenage boy. And even the way you dress! Please! Pull, up your pants, I don’t want to see that! SETH (Looks down at his pants) What’s wrong with my under-crackers? ADAH That’s just what I’m talking about! Anything you say is crass and stupid. SETH I resent that. ADAH Then maybe you should get some manners. Like Edward. Edward has class. SETH Ok, so say I get some “class” and pull up my pants. Then would I be good enough for you? ADAH Edward has superhuman strength and can run at speeds unobtainable by humans. He can zip Bella wherever she wants. What can you do? SETH I could give you a piggy-back ride? ADAH See? You could never come anywhere close to Edward. SETH (Huffs) Give me this. (Takes book from ADAH) ADAH Seth! Give it back! SETH (Turns away from ADAH) This guy can’t be totally perfect. I’ll show you. There’s got to be something he does wrong. (Starts flipping through book) ADAH (Stern) Seth, I am not amused. SETH Hold on! (Stops on a page) Here! (As Bella) You spied on me? (As Edward) What else is there to do at night? (As Bella) How often did you come? (As Edward) Almost every night. You’re interesting when you sleep. (Himself again)There! You have to admit, THIS is creepy. He was stalking her, for Christ sakes! ADAH You have no right criticizing Edward! In fact, you should be more like him. It would be a major improvement. SETH You want me to be more like Edward the Stalker? You mean like this? (As Edward) Bella, let me lick your face. ADAH (Stands up and snatches book back) That’s it!! Get off my lawn, Seth! You are so boorish! You always have to make fun of me, don’t you? SETH Adah- ADAH Go away!!! SETH Adah, wait a minute. I was just being silly. You know, funny? I thought girls liked that kind of stuff. ADAH Obviously not this girl. Just go. (Turns away from SETH and crosses her arms) SETH I’m sorry ADAH Sure you are. You said that when we were kids, too. But it was always back to the same thing the next day. SETH Adah, don’t be so stubborn, give me a chance! ADAH Why should I give you a chance? Whenever I talk to you, you act like your doing me a favor by gracing me with your presence. You are so full of yourself. SETH Calm down, Adah, let me talk ADAH Why should I? SETH Because I’m trying to apologize. I only came over because I wanted to talk to you. I didn’t think it would go like this. Serious. ADAH Serious? I don’t think it’s possible for you to be serious. The emotion never registered as a child. SETH Come on, Adah. Give me a break. I’m not the immature 8th grader I used to be. ADAH I’ll believe that once you start acting like it. (Pause) You’ve been grinding on my nerves since 6th grade. I couldn’t turn a corner without an insult or sexual joke flying my way. SETH I know I stole your gym bra and taped it to your locker, and I know I told everyone you were so flat-chested you could be a boy, but, can’t we just get past that? That was in Junior High. ADAH Go away Seth. SETH I can’t. I find you too interesting ADAH Is that why, in 7th grade, you snapped my bra so hard it left a bruise? SETH Well, the bruise is gone isn’t it? Along with my antics. (Pause) You know, whenever I talked to you, the guys would tease me about liking you. I hated it because it was true. I did like you. ADAH You liked me? SETH Yeah. ADAH (Sits again) Oh, well… that doesn’t change anything. I’m still mad at you. SETH OK. (Pause) You think you can forgive me? ADAH I’ll try. Now let me read. SETH (There is an awkward silence for some time. SETH shifts his feet and ADAH clears her throat.) So… Do Edward and Bella ever go to prom together? ADAH Huh? Oh, yeah. They do (pause) but Bella is in a huge body cast because she was almost killed by a bad vampire before Edward saved her. SETH Wow. ADAH Yeah. SETH So Bella has a perfect prom date with all the fixings. What about you? ADAH What do you mean what about me? SETH Are you looking for an undead prom date with superhuman strength, or will just a normal guy suffice? ADAH Well, if you see a gorgeous vampire looking for a prom date, count me in. But I could settle for a regular guy. SETH So what does a regular guy have to do to keep your attention? As a hypothetical question? ADAH He could actually wear a belt for once. And a button down shirt shouldn’t be too much to ask for. SETH And..? ADAH And… hm... He could read this book (holds up book) and write an essay on how amazing it is. SETH How is that relevant? ADAH Well, it would show me that he is interested in me and the things I like. Also, it would tell me that he likes me enough to do something he doesn’t want, just to make me happy. SETH And how long would the essay have to be? ADAH At least a page. Typed. SETH No problem, I can do that. (Takes book from ADAH) ADAH (Laughs) I thought it was a hypothetical question? SETH (Smiles) I lied. (Flips through book) so I have to read this huh? (Mumbles) he steps out into the sunlight… (Normal voice)... and His skin literally sparkled like thousands of tiny diamonds. Unbelievable! He sparkles?! ADAH If you’re going to make fun, give it back. SETH No way. I am going to read this sucker and write you an A+ essay. ADAH If you say so. SETH So, if I do as you command, you’ll consider accepting me for prom? Even though my skin doesn’t sparkle in the light and I can’t zip you around at unobtainable speeds? ADAH Yes, I’ll consider it. But of course you’ll have to wear a tux. And buy me a corsage. SETH Of course. Well then, I’d better get started (indicates to the book, and turns to leave) ADAH Wait. SETH Yeah? ADAH You promise you’ll be nice at prom, right? No rude comments or snide remarks? SETH I promise. I’ll even tell you how pretty you look whenever you want. ADAH It’ll be fun, right? Like Edward and Bella’s prom? SETH Except it’ll be better because you won’t be in a body cast and I won’t crave your blood. ADAH (Laughs) Good point. SETH (Begins to walk back but pauses and looks back at ADAH) Hey, do you want to come over? I rented a movie and bought every type of junk food imaginable. You name it, I got it. ADAH Kettle corn? SETH You bet. What do you say? ADAH Sounds like fun. (SETH offers ADAH his hand. He pulls her up from the chair and they walk offstage into SETH’s house) |