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Rated: 18+ · Monologue · Experience · #1832761
My way of working through coming upon a man who had taken his own life
My Wait

Months of waiting since I first glimpsed this beautiful classic structure. Waiting for the moment I could stand close letting my eyes rest upon the curves, mass and breathtaking height. The moment here, perfect, clear, crisp, blue; nowhere else to go or be. Eyes pleased just from the anticipation, camera and lenses cleaned, ready to capture this moment for my forever. And then, as so often happens in life, the unexpected.

He lay at the very bottom of the great structure’s height. So quiet, so out of place, “he’s not supposed to be there!” On his back, his eyes turned toward my path but not returning my unwanted gaze. ”His leg surely hurts him so askew; no he feels his pain no more”. His one bare foot is unaware of the cold water his body has diverted as if it were an island or rock. The water seems to have no time for him as it rushes to wherever. “I wish he wasn’t there.” My eyes seek the only route that could have brought him to where he now sprawls, still so blue above this classic structure. Like the water the traffic above has no time for this moment, this end of moments.

The call has been made. Unable to leave him alone like this, I wait. The wonderful crispness of the morning, so energizing only a few moments ago now penetrates every muscle, freezing my movement, locking me in this moment with him. As I wait, a strange feeling of intimacy, kinship understanding begins to replace the cold and has warmed me enough that I can now move to shake the officer’s hand; my lips now free to answer his questions. My left hand gesturing as if to invite the officer to meet a friend, my feet leading the way, we move together to find the water still making its way around him. My eyes now able to rest on the unexpected.

“Yes I can wait for the investigating officer.” I wait again with him. Now there is movement all around; firemen quietly, respectfully going about calculating how to do their jobs; more police arriving on the path and above. I see it in each one of their faces, one moment making the same wish I had made the next making a similar connection with this as of now nameless man; each one as they go about their work, unable to resist looking up into the blue, seeking the path that brought him here.
For me more of the unexpected, as I’m now receiving the respectful glances given a family member at a funeral; my wait alone with him has somehow in their eyes bound me with him. More handshakes, questions, words of thanks and then it’s time as if closing the casket lid. I move ahead up the path as if somehow I can still capture the pictures my eyes had anticipated on this perfect, clear, crisp, blue morning. A few yards and I know the unexpected pictures my camera did not record will last for my forever.

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