VENTING OF FRUSTRATIONS

Home,
It used to be a place I couldn't wait to go
It was familiar clean a safe haven to turn to
Someone always around, always smelling of good food
My mom usually had time and liked to hear about
My day at school or help me solve problems I couldn't face myself
Tea in the morning one for me and her,our quiet, alone time
Has been invaded by two little monsters that are not hers and are not mine!!
See my family is close we all help eachother and since this is the case
mine opened the door to my brother and his kids when he lost his other place
For those who may be reading this I'll explain cause it's not how it seems
He didn't lose it due to unemployment,or some unfortunate tradgedy
Instead he didn't pay the rent because he was too busy buying weed!!
sleeping around he and his wife are both guilty of
so after a short 5 years of marriage they are both giving up
He walked in on her with another guy in their living room
So he beat the shit out of him and got arrested the stupid fool
My angel of a mother bails him out and since he failed to pay the rent
A letter of eviction in tow, he and his kids move right on in
and besides working,eating,yelling and sleeping he doesnt do a thing!
childcare is left up to my mom and sister now
I hate kids and they dont get that so they get mad when I dont help out
kids in general not my neice and nephew I just dont have patience
Espescially when all I can think about is why they are there in the first place
sympathys not hard to feel towards them they've been dealt a bad hand
A new place to live confusion, fights, and two parents who dont give a shit
with my brothers domestic violence charge now D.S.S is involved
My mother beleives we should all work together to get the problem solved
I feel like a heartless bitch alot because of all of this
But my brother has screwed up so much he's still such a kid
This is my last year of high school I should be learning how to drive
Nobody's around though they haven't got the time
Besides that I want to feel like It's home again and stop these feelings of guilt
That I cant and wont just suck it up and raise his kids
My whole family is affected so im not a special case
though that doesn't stop me from wanting to run to a far,far,far away place
maybe I would feel different if the circumstances were reversed
like if he was here cause he lost his job or if this was a first
It's not a first It's a reaccurring offense taking advantage and screwing up
If I was his mother by now Im sure I'd have had enough
maybe thats the uncompromising love that I guess a mother just has
That causes you to put someone else before yourself no matter how many times you already have
Feels kinda wrong exposing family laundry to people that I dont even know
But I wouldn't want to share this with anybody at home
Truth is there are worse circumstances I know but something is not quite right
Because now I actually look forward to school and working long into the night