The Rememberless Nights: Anonymous Diary

Sunday. June 15th, 2015



         The sun streaming through the dirty, decrepit, window pane. This is the first thing I noticed when I woke up this morning. The second thing I noticed…or I guess felt…was "it" again. The sun was suddenly menacing as I saw how clear every piece of dust can be seen when the sun is shining. Is this what the sun does to my life? Show every speck of dust?

         The room seems to spin with the Earth as the nausea, and the guilt hits me. Oh no, not again! Dear Malum, No! I look around my room for any of the signs that were not erased last night while I slept, and finally I see one. In the cold harsh marble sink across the room, I see the ashes lying on the marble with a ray of sun shining directly on the pile. So my answer is yes. The sun will slowly ruin me, exposing the secrets of my life little by little. It happened again, and I wasn't strong enough to prevent it. I murdered another last night…again…and I don't even remember his name. Or mine. This is the point where I laid down on my hard bed in the corner, and would have cried, if I could. I knew they would be in soon. They are always watching the cameras and my understanding of the ash will draw them in. And they do not disappoint.



         "Subject 283, we have come to give you the daily vitamins and medicine." The woman talking holds a clipboard and has a kind face. But I can see the disgust that hides behind the smile. She wears all blue from head to toe including a blue band that wraps around her head. I note all of this while she holds out a metal tray with two small clear cups on it.

         "I do not want it." I told her as I smacked the cups to the floor. "Bring him in now." I know most of the country does not act the way I do, then again they do not treat most of the country the way they treat me. I am "Special". I am needed. I am different.

         "Why do you always do this? Can you not just act like everyone else? He will not want to see you. He has more important things to deal with then some self righteous bitch like you." There it was, her shell has cracked and now I, and anyone who ever reads this, can see the truth.

         "You know exactly why i do not act like everyone else. Now, bring. Him. In. " I stare into the cold eyes of the woman, and after a short time she leaves to get him. So I sit and wait. It doesn't take long before he enters, with an air of importance. He stands tall at the end of my bed his midnight black eyes staring into my own. His eyes had no white in them. Just the depth less obsidian. His skin has never seen the light of day as it stretches over his prominent facial bones, only slightly hidden under his long curly black hair. He reminds me of some kind of demon that floats around the halls of the "institution", but he is no demon. He is Farley.

         "Jane, why is it that we have a problem today?" Jane. My name. He is the only one who uses the names instead of numbers. It is suppose to make us calm down, make us feel like we can relate to them, and for a second it almost works...almost.