Akansha is lonely. She makes a final attempt to restart her life.Will she succeed? |
Headnote : Hey guys this is my first attempt in writing a complete story. This story is based on the life of an Indian girl. Hence there is mention of some Indian traditions. For those who are not aware of Indian culture, I am providing some insight in this headnote. You can get back to me for any other confusion.... Saat pheres : Indian marriage is a symbol of purity, union of two different people, community and culture. It takes place in front of the holy fire who acts as the witness to this holy union. Saat pheres or seven vows are the rounds taken around the fire by the bride and groom together. During each round they make a promise to each other. Thus they make seven promises in total. Comments and advices will be appreciated as it will help me understand where I stand and will improve my writing. So please help me out and review my story. Also get back to me in case of any confusion.... THE FINAL QUESTION Akansha was in a happy mood. It was evident from the smile in her face that was making her features all the more radiant. She opened the windows of her bedroom and leaned out. Closing her eyes she took a deep breath, inhaling the fresh morning air mixed with the intoxicating smell of wet soil invoked by the premonsoon shower that made its appearance yesterday evening. She opened her eyes and looked outside. The road outside her apartment was still secluded. The morning ritual had still not begun. It was only 6o' clock after all. In her excitement Akansha had woken up early. But she was well acquainted with the ritual that took place every day outside her apartment. At around 6.30 a.m or so the local dealers of market would pass the road carrying that day's merchandise. At 7o'clock Amit, the little boy working for the newspaper vendor near market place would come hurling in his bicycle and throw the newspaper to respective houses either through their main door or to their balcony. A few minutes after that some old men from the neighbourhood would start their morning jogging schedule. They would sometimes stop to rest and sit down in the bench near the apartment. They would share their own stories and Akansha, sitting in the balcony would catch every bits and pieces of their gossip. At 8o' clock the office goers would be seen hurrying towards the local station to catch the train in time. At about 8.15 a faint sound of a whistle would be heard announcing the departure of the train. That was Akansha' s signal to get up from her chair in the balcony and start with the household chores. Today however she was in a joyous spirit. There was a skip in her step and she was humming the familiar tune - “Your arms are my castle, your heart is my sky They wipe away tears that I cry The good and the bad times, we've been through them all You make me rise when I fall ” December 15, 2004 A boy was waiting in the pavement outside a five storeyed building. He was pacing back and forth. There was agitation and impatience written in his face. Every few minutes his eyes would be drawn towards the main gate of the building and he would huff in irritation. After another five minutes a young girl was seen coming out of the gate. She was wearing a white top and black jeans. She looked across the road and spotting the boy waved at him enthusiastically. The boy's facial expression also changed from irritation to happiness and he waved back. She quickly crossed the road. She was listening to songs on her ipod. “What are you listening to?” asked the boy. “Oh it's a wonderful song that I came across last night while browsing the internet. I downloaded it immediately. I have listened it five or six times a row. Would you like to listen to it?” “What is the song based on?” “It's basically a love song. Hear it for yourself.” “I,...uh dunno. You know how much I hate those crappy and sappy love songs.” “ Oh come on Amigo, don't be a prude. Hear it. The lyrics are awesome.” and she gave one of her ear piece to him and re winded the song. Together they listened .... “I still hear your voice, when you sleep next to me. I still feel your touch in my dreams. Forgive me my weakness, but I don't know why Without you it's hard to survive......” That was the first time that Akansha had heard the song. She had connected to it immediately. Later the song had morphed to 'their song'. It had become the symbol of her love, the melody marking her marriage to Raj. She wandered to her bedroom and sat in front of the large oval mirror. There were many beauty enhancement products sitting on the dresser almost untouched. She had no use of them much nowadays. The picture frame sitting on the middle of the dresser caught her eyes. She picked it up and started observing it. It was a wedding picture. The photographer had captured the ambiance and emotions perfectly. The picture showed a newly wed happy couple looking into the eyes of each other. The groom was watching his bride . His eyes conveyed a series of emotions that he was experiencing inside. He was in awe. The twinkle in his eyes gave away his pride as if he had somehow won the most coveted prize. His glorious smile somehow also showed his relief in reaching the anchor that would bind him for the rest of his life and steer him in the proper direction. The bride was basking in the love and attention of her beloved. She was looking beautiful in her red lehenga but the passionate glance of her husband was making her feel all the more elegant. She was stealing one or two glances at his love, now husband. She was happy that that their love had won. It was evident from her beautiful smile and the glow in her face. It was not a mere picture rather a painting, a celebration of their love. Akansha looked at the picture. She could remember every minute details of that day. She could remember every glance she stole only to find Raj looking at her. She could remember how Raj had grabbed her hand during the saat pheres and refused to let it go even when it was complete. “ I would love to hold my lovely bride's hand if you don't mind” he had declared in front of everybody. Every relative present had laughed causing Akansha to blush and turning her face into a bright crimson. Then she looked at her image in the picture carefully and looked at her reflection in the mirror. Age had taken its toll. She was not as pretty as she used to be. Since the previous year or so she had stopped taking care of herself. There was no reason for her to do so. No meaning at all. But today she wanted to look beautiful, she wanted to look like the girl in the picture. She wanted Raj to look at her in a similar way. She wanted to look beautiful for her husband. She looked at the clock hung on the wall. It was nearly 8o'clock. She had until evening to prepare. There was plenty of time. She would look her best today. Akansha opened the almirah and from the safety chamber took out the rectangular mahogany box. It was a beautiful box with a carving of a dolphin on the lid. This belonged to her deceased mother and was passed down to her by her grandma. It was a piece of her mother and she was quite attached to it. It was one of her most prized possessions. She always used to keep tids and bits that invoked memories in that mahogany box. She had not parted with that box even after marriage. Rather she had brought the box with her and kept it in her almirah. She sat down on the bed and carefully opened the lid of her box. It was like opening the pandora's box. She was not sure what memories could resurface from the various items kept in the box. But today it was time to face it all. Today it was time to leave all the sad parts behind and concentrate on the good ones. Inside the box there were two more small boxes – one white and one black. It was ironic that she had never before realised that she had unconsciously put reminders of good memory in the white box and those of pain in the black one. Today however she decided to open both the boxes and remember the past , both good and bad. Today she would remember everything , every situation that has molded her into the person that she is at present. First she opened the white box. There were lots of items inside. She took out a friendship band from the bottom of the box. She started examining it. It was a yellow coloured band with beads strewn and a message written in it with wool “Friends Forever”. The colour had faded and the message was not visible as the woolen fibres had got damaged. But Akansha remembered the minutest details of the band. After all it was given to her by the most important person in her life – her friend, her confidant, her Amigo. August 7, 2004 A girl was sitting in a cafeteria. Inspite of the crowd and the noise of all the college students, the girl was feeling lonely. She was alone amidst the crowd. People were trying to acknowledge her but after getting no response they were quickly drifting away. She was sad. Ten years back on this fateful day her mother had been taken away from her. She was no longer a child and the story that her grandma used to tell about her mother becoming a star in the sky no longer gave her any solace. She knew her mother would never come back. She had come to terms with it but this day makes it hard for her to ignore the fact and carry on normally. She would wrap herself tightly in a cocoon that would prevent her to have any interaction with others. She would make herself an island. Initially some of her friends had tried to cheer her up, make her a part of some of their activities but after sometime they did not even bother to acknowledge her at all. A boy entered the cafeteria. He started scanning the crowd as if his eyes were searching for someone. Spotting the girl at the back of the cafeteria he started approaching her. Coming up from behind he closed her eyes with his hand causing the girl to come out of her musings. “What are you doing Amigo ?” she said. “I am doing nothing bella.” the boy replied innocently. “Why do you keep calling me that? You know I have a real name.” “Yes I know but you are my bella. I would always call you that just like you always call me amigo.” “Fine. Just leave me alone today Amigo. I have no intention to talk.” she huffed. “Okay we won't talk. But I won't leave you alone. I never do. So stop trying to convince me otherwise.” “But I am not a good company today.” “I always love your company bella. Now come on get up.” “Where are we going? We have two important classes post lunch. We can't leave the college now. “You will soon see. I don't care about the classes right now. We will collect the notes from Raghu. Let's go.” The boy took her hands in his and together they walked out of the cafeteria and out of the college campus. They walked in silence until they reached the park on the outskirts of the town. It was a children's amusement park before but now it was a vast stretch of abandoned land. It was a favourite spot for the two friends. They would come here whenever they wanted to reflect on something. They sat down on the bench and looked across the horizon. Words were never quite so important in their relationship. They could communicate well even in their silence. They sat quietly. The boy just kept holding his friend's hand. After some time he looked sideways only to find his bella sitting there crying silently. He just tightened his hold making the girl to look at him. “I miss her so much Amigo. It hurts.” “I know bell. I am with you. “ “You won't leave me right?” The boy was touched by the uncertainty in her voice. He grabbed her hand with both of his. “Never. I will always be there for you. I will never leave your side.” Akansha gave a sad smile. The band was so special to her. It symbolized the bond that she possessed with her Amigo. She remembered the innocent declaration that Amigo made that day and how her heart had soared when she looked at him and found him looking back with a look of determination in his face. She had believed him that day. She had believed that no matter what her Amigo would never leave her side. She could sense a change in their relationship but she was confident that they would always remain Amigo and Bella in their own private world. The surrounding reality would never touch them. She kept the band back in the white box. Taking a deep breath she opened the black box. The first item that caught her attention was a small card. She took it out and opened it. Inside there was a brief message typed in a very good quality paper. “ Best wishes to Mrs. Malhotra on her Anniversary Cannot attend the family function darling. Please handle it. - Mr. Raj Malhotra CEO, Malhotra Enterprises” August 7, 2009 Akansha was getting ready for the social gathering that would take place in their house in the evening. She had personally invited everyone who would come to witness the celebration of her marriage with Raj and would express their heartiest wishes for happy future full of cherish able moments. After wasting lots of time pondering on what to wear for the occasion she decided to call up Raj and ask him. She hesitated while calling his number. “ Don't call me up for silly reasons” Raj had said to her once. “But this is not a silly reason. I must look good. Lots of people will come to this function. And being a hostess I must look nice.” she gave herself this pep talk and finally called his number. It rang and rang and finally went to voicemail. Akansha gave up and tried calling the office number. Natasha, Raj's secretary picked up the call and said “ I am sorry mam, sir is busy in a meeting right now. Today he has two meetings to attend to. Hence he is not picking up any call.” Akansha felt her enthusiasm reducing on hearing about Raj's meetings. “ He surely remembers about today. I reminded him today morning and he promised to be here at the right time.” Akansha decided to take the matter in her own hand. Opening the almirah she decided to scan the battleground once again. Finally she decided on a red chiffon saree that Raj had gifted her on their first anniversary. As she started wearing the saree she couldn't help but remember how Raj had insisted to help her wear the saree and how he had fumbled. One thing had let to the other and the night had been spent in whispers of love and showers of affection. Even remembering the night made her blush and brought a smile on her face automatically. After getting ready she came out of her bedroom. She went to the kitchen to check on the food preparations. Today was important for her. She wanted everything to be perfect. She wanted Raj to admire her management skills. She wanted to be the perfect hostess. She had hired a chef to cook for all the guests. She had chosen the dinner menu after lot of considerations, making sure that all of Raj's favourite food items were there. When she was sure that all the items have been properly prepared she went to inspect the decorations. When she was confident that everything was proper, she went to stand in her favourite balcony. At the strike of 6o’clock, guests started arriving. She started interacting with them, playing the role of a perfect hostess. But her eyes were drawn towards the door now and again. She was waiting for Raj. The mindless chatter held no interest to her. She wanted to be alone with her husband. Tonight she would not let her husband do any office work in his laptop. She would hide his laptop. Then when Raj gets angry she would present him with the gift that she had prepared herself, a cd in which she had recorded the music , her composition. She had named it “Ode to love”, a piano piece celebrating their friendship and love. She was sure that after listening to the piece he would forget all his irritation and would entrap her in a loving embrace. “ When will Mr. Malhotra come?” asked their neighbour Mrs. Agarwal causing her to come out of her wishful thinking. “Oh he will be here any moment. Let me call him and confirm.” Akansha excused herself and went into the balcony. She tried to call Raj. Once, twice ..every time his mobile rang and rang and finally went to voicemail. She felt a twinge of irritation now. A cloud of sadness and loneliness gripped her. She sat down on the chair in the balcony. A lone tear escaped her eyes. Her patience had now started to show signs of strain. She was not angry, she was merely unhappy. Even amidst a house full of guests she felt abandoned, lonely. The front door bell rang. “Raj is here” was her mental thought before she eagerly ran towards the front door. She came to a halt in front of the door. She envisioned a situation in which she would be angry at Raj for coming late and Raj would kiss away all her anger and would declare that he would never leave his bella alone. She opened the door. Natasha stood in front of her door carrying a huge bouquet and a gift. “ Sir had an emergency meeting with an important client and he had to catch a flight to Delhi. He is extremely sorry for not being able to attend the function. These are for you maam.” Akansha stood in the doorway long after Natasha had left. She continued to stare at the bouquet where the tag was attached in which her husband had wished her a happy anniversary and expressed his disappointment for not attending the function. Akansha simply looked at it. She could not feel anything. She felt numb. Some people were calling. It felt like an echo. It felt like sound was approaching her from a very distant place but simply was unable to reach her. She closed the door and walked inside the house. She was like a mechanical robot. She talked with people, smiled and made excuses on Raj’s behalf. Everybody believed her. Nobody understood how deep an abyss she had gotten trapped in. She continued this routine until it was time for the guests to leave. Then she went inside her bedroom and looked around. She had decorated the room with fragrant candles and vases full of freesia s. She had intended to create a romantic ambience. But the room now mocked her. She was starting to get emotional but she didn’t want it. She didn’t want to feel anything. Numbness was great. There was no pain. She went to the guest room. Raj would often come here in the night with his laptop to work. She found his tshirt lying in the corner of the bed. Raj had worn the tshirt last night. She went near the bed and picked up the tshirt. She held it close to her face and inhaled. It still held the remnants of his smell. She took off all her jewellery,saree and makeup. She then dressed herself in the tshirt. She was quite small in comparison with his shirt but she didn’t mind. She turned off the light and lay down in the bed curling herself in a ball. Akansha placed the tag back in the box and picked up the halves of the broken cd which she had intended to gift Raj but had not got a chance to give. In her outrage she had thrown the cd thereby breaking it. She got up from the bed and came to the living room. She went to sit at the exquisite grand piano stationed just off the entryway. She ran her hands gently up the scales, testing the pitch. The tuning was perfect. She began the first line of the tune that she had composed for her Raj. She added a harmonizing line letting the central melody weave through it. “You are wonderful bella. You are so gifted. I can lose myself in your melody.” Akansha led the melody to a new direction, following it with the bass line. The song was compelling but the melody took a different turn not in the way that she had previously composed. There was a story in her melody but she was unable to determine the ending. Memories came pouring in a rush and her hands flew across the keys to keep all the pieces together, modifying here and there, taking it in a new direction …………………….. “ I don’t have time to listen to your music now Akansha. I have important work to do. Please be sensible.” Akansha knew the ending of the melody. She had known it subconsciously for quite some time but she did not want to acknowledge it. She closed her eyes and envisioned a beautiful girl sleeping contently in the lap of her mother. She was perfect just the way she was. Any changes would be wrong. It was the perfect place, a world full of happiness. The song drifted to this unconscious realization now. Akansha was not sure how the passionate tunes had morphed into such a lamentable piece. But she was compelled. She didn’t even know when the melody changed its course. But she was getting tired with the tune. It was taking away all her optimism. She forced the tune to come to a stop. Playing the last note she bowed her head over the keys. She got up from the piano bench. It was time to make preparations. The past didn’t matter. Today they will have a new beginning. They will start the journey from the scratch. They will remember all the promises that they made to each other and they will rebind their relationship. Raj was coming back to her. They would go away to some place, away from all the responsibilities, all the realities. They would forget everything and become the companions in the way they were from the beginning. It was 10 o’clock. She took a bath. She scrubbed herself thoroughly. She even used the incensed bathing oil that Raj had brought for her after coming back from a trip to London. After drying herself with the towel she wore her comfy house gown. Then she went to search for the perfect attire for the evening. Although they will probably be travelling by flight still she wanted to look her best. She chose the blue churidar kamiz that she had bought while they had gone to Kashmir for their honeymoon. The look that Raj had given her when she wore it had made Akansha feel as if she was the most beautiful woman on the planet. After she was sure about the dress it was time to concentrate on the accessories. After lots of considerations she finally selected the matching blue jewelley set that she had received as gift on her 17th birthday from Amigo. “ Best of both times” she mused. |