Gnats

         Faces sped by with an annoying determination shared only by insects.  Faces hiding the truth of emotion that boiled beneath the exterior of calm.  The attractive brunette, for example, with two children in the back of her black SUV who likely resented her husband for the two brats that she was left to take to school.  Next was the man wearing the trucker hat driving the beat-up truck whose skin was aged by the sun hating his emo son for the long, dyed hair, pale skin, piercings and crappy taste in music.  Finally the old couple perceived as happy for the years spent together truly hating one another.

         They could see my face as I drove by them and do the same thing.  They would see a fairly attractive man in his late twenties with brown hair and brown eyes dressed business casual driving to a job that he loved hoping to see his girlfriend after work and play fetch with his little puppy.  Finally, being the good boy he was, he would call his mother.

         That would be my mask.  The truth is that I only went to my job out of the necessity for money.  I did not have a girlfriend to see after work nor a dog to play fetch with.  My mother?  I killed her when I was fifteen years old.

         The faces speeding past, on their way to work, school, and the doctor’s office would never know this of me. My own coworkers would not know this.  My façade, my mask, hid this from view; hid the monster from the insects of humanity.

         I worked for Applied Credit Services; a corporation that gave credit cards to ignorant people, then called to harass said people when they didn’t pay off their debt, and finally ruined their credit score to the point that they would never be able to get that Wal-Mart credit card they have always wanted.

         I entered the building and thought as I did every morning that it was a disgusting place with a crumbling brick exterior that resembled the crumbling credit scores it produced.  The interior was just as bad with its outdated green and yellow carpet and cubicles lined with faded red cloth.  The air was filled with the sounds of clattering keyboards, muttering employees and despair over the actions that took place on a daily basis and an odor that represented the age of the building.

         If I felt love I would probably feel it for the job.  It was perfect for me.  I felt no remorse for the lives that I ruined.  If they were too ignorant to say no to my sales pitch then they deserved to wallow in the results of financial irresponsibility.  The job was a release for me to destroy these lives without ending them.  Absolutely nothing illegal in what I did.

I settled into my cubicle.  It was decorated with the photos of a life I did not truly live and places that I had never visited and action figures from comic books and movies I had never read or seen.  All of the objects collected and displayed with the intent of giving myself the appearance of a normal life.

“Hey, Sean!”  The voice penetrated the dull roar of background noise and violated my ears much like the buzzing of a gnat landing in your ear.  This gnat, however, landed in my cubicle.

“Hi, Lisa,” I said with a smile and no setup for a continuation of conversation.  I had work to do.

“How was your weekend?”  The gnat did not take the hint due to the smile.  I looked at my letter opener; a jab to the throat, temple, or eye would cease the bug’s existence.  I would have to humor Lisa.

“It was nice, very quiet,” I said, turning my chair to face her.

“I enjoy quiet weekends,” Lisa said.  I eyeballed the paperweight and judged its value as a means of problem solving while she continued.  “This weekend, though, my girlfriend and I went to Columbus for the 2010 Arnold Classic.”

“That sounds fun.” I had no idea what she was talking about.

“Kind of, exploring the city afterwards was a lot more fun.  We’re going again next year but I’m more pumped about seeing Columbus again.”

“Why don’t you just take a road trip?  Columbus isn’t going anywhere; you can visit any time.”

“I wouldn’t want to go alone,” Lisa said.  “I’d want to visit with a friend or someone special.  What do you think of Columbus?”

Before I could tell her that I hated Ohio and everything within the wretched state my desk phone rang.  I thanked the god of clichés and used it as my escape plan.  Lisa attempted to wait for me but I stayed on the phone longer than the caller to have a one-sided conversation.  When she finally left and I was sure she was out of earshot I hung up the beeping phone.  She seemed to always pounce on me when she had the chance.  It was no secret she had a thing for me.  If I were a different person I would probably have taken her up on her advances and confirmed the office gossip.  She was, after all, an attractive woman with a slender build; long, chocolate-brown hair that came down in waves, and dark blue eyes.

Among the problems I would have with the relationship was that I was twenty-eight and Lisa had just entered college.  I was one of the oldest people working at the building since it was a job haven for college students.  From what I gathered in conversation with her she still lived with her parents.  I hated parents.

I took a deep breath to clear my head of the nuisance.  I had dwelt on it for far too long.  There was a lot of work to be done; a lot of lives to destroy.  I pulled up my list of numbers and started making my calls.



“Dude, what’s up?”

I sighed inwardly; another gnat had come to make an attempt at ruining my day.  “Lunch is up,” I said.

The gnat’s name was Parker; I allowed him the impression we were friends.  He maintained a shaved head and had a pierced eyebrow and large, gauged earlobes and always wore long sleeved shirts.  I had always suspected he wore those long sleeves to hide his drug use.  He pulled up a chair next to me in the lunchroom and the smell of cigarettes on his breath and clothes almost made me lose my lunch.  The only thing worse than a loud gnat was a smelly one.

“Dude, I saw Lisa talkin’ you up this morning.  You hittin’ that?”

I carefully placed my sandwich on the folded paper towel in front of me.  Why did this gnat ignore the existence of the letter g and why did he start every sentence with “Dude?”

“No, I am not hitting that, nor do I have any interest in hitting that.”

“Dude—” there it is again, “—are you a fag or somethin'?  Lisa is mighty fine, I’d tap that.”

“She doesn’t like smokers.”

“Why not?” Parker said.  “She’s smokin’ herself!”

“You are an idiot,” I said with a look that defied argument.

The idiot started laughing.  He wouldn’t laugh so hard if I plunged a plastic knife into the back of his throat.  The thought was tempting as I fingered the knife in question.  I subdued the temptation as it would cause unnecessary attention.  I briefly joined his laughter.

“But seriously, why wouldn’t you hit it?” Parker said after his laughter died down.  “Everyone knows she’s got the hots for you.”

“There’s a ten year age gap between us.”

“So fuckin’ what?”  Parker said, again ignoring the use of g.  “There was a twenty-three year difference between my mom and dad.”

“I like a little more maturity in my women.  Women that don’t still live with their parents.” 

“Whatever, dude.  You don’t have to marry the skinny bitch.  Just fuck her and dump her.”

“You are such a romantic,” I said, shaking my head.  Parker’s lewd comments had finally thrown me off my appetite completely.  Of all the people I allowed to be my friend, why was he one of them?



Thirty minutes remained in the workday.  My stomach was growling in hunger due to being denied its lunch.  Soon I would be able to return to my sanctuary and fulfill my base needs.

“Hey, Sean,” the gnat from this morning made its return.  Why couldn’t I escape these annoyances? 

I once again humored her.  “Hey, what’s up?”  A silly question when not asking about the sky.

         “What are you doing this weekend?”  There was hope in Lisa’s eyes when she asked.  I felt I knew where this conversation was going to lead.

         “Not much, putter around the house more than likely,” I said with a shrug, giving her an opening.

         “Want to do something then?  Grab dinner or maybe catch a movie?”

         No, I thought.  “Sure, why not?” I said.  Where did that come from?  I have never dated in my twenty-eight year existence.

         “Great!” she said with a large smile on her face.  “How about Friday you pick me up at seven?”

         “I don’t even know where you live.”

         “Oh, right.”  She grabbed a post-it note off my desk as well as a pen without asking which was rather rude and started scribbling down what I could only assume was her address.  “It’s easy enough to find.  My cell number is on there if you get lost.”

         “Great, I’ll see you at seven Friday,” I said, forcing a smile.  Who was I kidding?  It was Monday, I would have to see her for the rest of the week and she would likely be around all the time with the mindset that we were now officially dating.  It was a very terrible start to the week.

         

         My assumption over Lisa’s reaction was correct.  As Friday ended I had spent more time in the company of a woman than I had in thirteen years.  Lisa was at my cubicle every morning to talk, she talked to me at lunch and she talked to me when the day ended.  I wondered the entire time why she wasn’t in class, surely she had to go to the college campus occasionally.

         To make matters worse, when Lisa wasn’t buzzing in my ear Parker was bombarding me with ignorance.  He seemed upset at first over my acceptance of Lisa’s advances and I learned that he had asked her out and been rejected.  After I apologized and asked if he wanted to take my place he seemed to get over it.  The rest of the time he spent asking me what I planned on doing after the dinner and movie and if there would be any sexual activity involved.  Needless to say the letter opener was looking very eager to be placed in Parker’s skull.

         Finally seven o’clock on Friday arrived and I was sitting in my car outside of Lisa’s house.  Looking at the home, I noticed the neat brick exterior, the windows designed to keep out the weather and intruders, and the perfectly aligned shingles.  All of the houses on the street had the same dapper appearance on the outside.  I knew they were full of happiness, anger, desire, and disgust with a face of serenity.  The houses, like all of humanity, had a mask to hide the turmoil within.

         I took a deep breath and exited my car to approach the house.  At one point I entertained the notion of standing Lisa up or lying about having something come up.  That, however, would have caused issues at work and this would at least allow me the chance to show my office coworkers that I did date.  Besides, if I had lied my way out of it she would have just rescheduled and therefore started the process over again.

         I stood at the threshold and took another deep breath.  I had passed the point of no return and plunged head first into the situation.  I raised my hand to knock on the door.

         Before my knuckles could land on the oak portal it opened and before me stood an older woman with hair similar to Lisa’s.  I was thrown back to a time when I was younger, not even ten yet, and my mother was yelling at me.  She called me names and beat me with whatever she could get her hands on.  She relished my misery and when she reached her sadistic ecstasy she would make attempts to comfort me in ways that were more disturbing than the beating.

         “I said, ‘You must be, Sean,’” Lisa’s mother said.  She wasn’t beating me but she certainly wasn’t happy to see me.

         I wasn’t too thrilled either, as stated I don’t like parents.  They promise one thing and give another.  They are the worst kind of people in the world as they fail to practice what they preach more often than not.  I wished Lisa had made the attempt to keep her parents from meeting me.  An older man came to the door and he had the same unhappy look as his apparent wife.

         “Yeah, I’m Sean Watson; I guess you know why I’m here.”

          “Come on in, son,” Lisa’s father said.  I stepped through the door and felt awed by the meticulous cleanliness.  The beige carpet looked recently vacuumed and the white walls were so clean they looked recently painted.  Pictures hung on the walls that showed a happy family as they traveled to various places around the country.

         “Have a seat, Sean,” Lisa’s father ordered.

         The father and mother sat on the couch opposite the chair I took.  Both pieces of furniture were as clean as the rest of the house and the cleanliness contributed to the little bit of comfort I felt.

         “How old are you, boy?”  That was an odd question for Lisa’s father to ask right off the start.

         “I’m twenty-eight, sir.”

         “You do realize that Lisa is only eighteen?”

         “Yes, sir, I do,” I said.

         “Do you see her as some sort of trophy?  A notch to put into your belt for a new conquest?”  Lisa’s mother said.  The question seemed rather hostile to me since they had just met me.

         “No ma’am, to be honest I had tried to avoid this situation all together.  I don’t like mixing work with my personal life.”

         “Then what are your intentions with my daughter?”  The mother asked.  Wasn’t the father supposed to ask that question?  For that matter, who still asked that question?

         “Well, ma’am, I intend on giving her an enjoyable evening and having her home before eleven.  I will then tell her that it probably wouldn’t be a good idea to do this again.”

         Lisa’s father scowled at me for a moment before saying, “That’s acceptable.”

         “Lisa’s still getting ready,” the mother said.  “I’ll go tell her that you’re here.”

         The wait for Lisa’s arrival seemed to drag on for hours.  Lisa’s father didn’t seem to have any desire to strike up a conversation.  To ease some of the tension I looked at the pictures on the wall.

         “Is that Miami?”

         Lisa’s father followed my gaze and saw the picture I was referring to.  “Yeah, we went there a few years back to visit family.”

         “I went there once just so I could say I’d been there,” I lied.  “Nice city, a bit too humid for my taste.”

         “Too many Cubans.”

         I nodded, what was wrong with Cubans?  My gaze wondered and Lisa’s father returned to his silent state.  My eyes fell on a statuette of the Chrysler Building.  Who would own something like that?  The pointing tip of the fake lightening rod could easily be jabbed into the chest of Lisa’s father or maybe his neck.  The neck would be better to help avoid his screams.  Lisa and her mother could be taken care of just as quickly and easily.  But no, the neighbors would have seen me come in and they would definitely notice the blood on me when I left.  Besides that, the walls and carpet would be difficult to clean.

         Lisa’s arrival ended the thoughts in my head.  Her unhappy look led me to assume her mother had talked to her about me.  Despite this I had to admit that she looked drastically different out of her work attire since that was the only way I had ever seen her.  She wore a plain, form-fitting t-shirt and tight jeans.  The form fitting clothes showcased her petite figure and I further adjusted my view of her.  Even with the casual look she looked very nice.

         “You ready?” she said.  The look in her eyes said she was eager to get going and I nodded my answer.  I would have been happier to just get out of the situation but I was committed now.  Lisa didn’t say anything to her parents, leaving me to give an awkward smile and wave to them.

         The drive to dinner was spent in silence as Lisa looked out the window with a sense of gloom.  I appreciated the silence since it helped me suppress the urge to throw her out of a moving vehicle.  Work must have been slow if my desires were becoming that strong.

         “What the fuck is their problem?” 

I was startled out of my silent moment by the language.  Since first meeting her I had never heard Lisa curse.

“I mean, there’s a seven year difference in their age.  It’s not that different from us.”

         Reason or sympathy?  I knew I would have to make a quick decision but her comparison of her parents to us had thrown me off.  It sounded like she wanted a long term commitment, a desire I did not share.

         “They’re just trying to protect you,” I finally said.  “They don’t know me and they may be worried I’m just using you as a trophy to show off to my friends.”  That seemed reasonable.  They had told me that very fear and I had come to the conclusion that I was using her as a symbol of normalcy. 

         Lisa wrapped herself around my arm which I felt to be a rather bold move.  She was reading too deep into the relationship and I knew that this would end badly.

         “You wouldn’t hurt me like that, would you?”

         “Not like that, no,” I said.

         “Good,” she said and tightened her embrace on my arm.  My throat was tight.  My mother was giving me a wild look as her hands tightened around my neck.

         “So where are you taking me for dinner?”

         I shook my head to clear the image, they didn’t help anything.  “I have to admit, I don’t go out much so I don’t really know what’s good.”

         Lisa raised her head to look at me, “You’re a bit of a loner, aren’t you?”

         Whatever gave her that idea?

         “Fine,” she said.  “We’ll go to Steakhouse.”

         I had heard of Steakhouse; it’s popular and pricey.  Luckily I spend little of my paychecks.  Food and utilities were my only expenses which gave me a sizable sum of money.

         Lisa released her grip on my arm and pulled out a cigarette from her purse.  This was an unusual and unexpected sight.

         “I didn’t know you smoked,” I said.

         “I only do it on occasion,” she said as she rolled down the window to let the smoke drift out.  “So what about your parents, are they anything like mine?”

         “No,” I said.  “I never knew my father and my mother died when I was fifteen.”

         “I’m sorry,” Lisa said with sincerity.  “How did she die?”

         Matricide.  “Lung cancer.”

         I hid my smile as she gave a cough and threw her cigarette out the window.  That’s one way to get someone to not smoke around you.



         We arrived at the restaurant and had a twenty minute wait.  The restaurant was busy and I felt anxious in the swarm of gnats.  My urge was rising again and I began to scope out potential targets.  I would have to choose carefully to avoid a complete bloodbath.  Just as I painted the target on the back of a very fat gnat and began inching my way towards him my concentration was broke.

         “Watson for two?”  The hostess called out.  That was us.  It surprised Lisa that my last name was Watson, I was fairly certain I had told her before.  Regardless, it didn’t stop her from making Sherlock Holmes references.  Apparently her gloomy mood had dissolved and her perky nature returned.

         As we were led to our table the shells of peanuts discarded on the floor crunched under my feet like the thorax of beetles.  We were seated at a corner table far from the bar, bathroom and kitchen.  Prime location for diners.  Just because I don’t go out doesn’t mean I don’t know things.  Before I even had the chance to pick up my menu Lisa was studying hers.  I made a cursory glance through mine and knew instantly what I would order.  I kept studying it in the hopes that it would keep Lisa quiet for a little bit.  Once out of the crowd I no longer needed something to focus on.

         “So what are you getting?” No such luck.

         “Don’t know yet,” I said.

         “You should get me a drink,” she said.  And there it was: the first step down a slippery slope.  She would get her of age date to buy her a drink so she could brag to her friends.

         “No.”

         “Why not?” Lisa said with a whine in her voice.

         “It would be illegal and wouldn’t look good on me if I brought you home to your parents with alcohol on your breath.  You can order a drink but it’ll be a virgin.”  With any luck dinner would be a disaster and the movie would be cancelled. 

         “Virgin drinks should only be for virgins,” Lisa said.

         The nature of her comment sunk into my head just as the waitress arrived to take our orders.

         “Water to drink, please; and I’ll have the sirloin, rare, with mashed potatoes and mixed veggies as the sides.”

         Lisa ordered some fishy pasta entrée and a strawberry daiquiri which I had to say was to be with no alcohol.  Although I avoided saying virgin so that the conversation wouldn’t pick up where it had left off I noticed a look in Lisa’s eyes that expressed knowledge of my avoidance of the word.

         “You’re a spoilsport,” Lisa said, sticking her tongue out at me.

         “You are absolutely right,” I said, focusing my attention on the table advertisement for a beer brand I would never drink.

         Lisa started talking again and I zoned out.    She was like a Chihuahua: high pitched and yapping.  The kind of thing that would keep you up at night.

         I looked down at my hands and they were covered in blood.  Looking up I saw my mother yelling at me, demanding to know why I had killed her dog as she came at me with a fire poker.  The dog had been a yapper and kept me up at night.  It deserved the death it received.

         “Sean, food’s here!”  Indeed it was.  The waitress was nowhere to be seen and Lisa had already started on her pasta.  I had zoned out for longer than I thought.  I followed Lisa’s lead and tore into my steak which had been perfectly cooked.  Just sticking my fork into the meat produced small pools of blood that made the experience all the more enjoyable.

         “That’s disgusting,” Lisa said with a wrinkle on her nose.

         “It’s delicious,” I said, taking a bite of the meat.  “Besides, you’re one to talk.  We live a thousand miles from the sea.  God knows how old that fish is.”

         Lisa stuck her tongue out once more as a counter-argument and continued eating.  The conversation tapered off as we both began to focus on our meals.  Only a few more hours until I would be finished with this date and could return to the safety of my home.



         Lisa had insisted on going to a movie.  Apparently my attempts at making dinner difficult had not been enough.  I had no preference as to what movie we saw so I allowed her to choose.  I would watch anything because it gave me the opportunity to see the mask actors put on to convince the audience of their character.

         Unfortunately Lisa chose a romantic-comedy.  Though I watched them, it wouldn’t have been my first choice.  I figured it was another attempt by Lisa to court me since she did not seem to be catching on to my subtle hints of rejection.

         The time passed and the movie ended in typical fashion with the nice guy getting the girl.  I would like to see a movie where the jerk ex-boyfriend wins.  Bad guys are quite capable of winning in real life.

         After the movie, the car ride was filled with a review.  Lisa loved it and I had to admit that it wasn’t awful.  My focus wasn’t on the conversation though.  It was eleven-thirty.  I had told her parents she would be home by eleven.  This would not help my cause of looking like the guy that wasn’t using a young, attractive girl for my personal goals.

         “It probably wouldn’t be a good idea for me to walk you to the door.  I know it’s not really chivalrous but I kind of gathered your parents didn’t like me,” I said as I pulled up to Lisa’s house.

         “Yeah, that’s a safe bet,” Lisa said, much to my surprise.  “Thanks for a wonderful evening.  Maybe next time we can do more than just a dinner and movie.”

         “That would be good,” I said, certain of what she meant.  I was surprised further when Lisa leaned in and kissed me on the lips.  I didn’t reject the kiss and it became more passionate.  My hand moved up to the back of her neck and the thought of grabbing it and snapping her spinal cord entered my mind.  Just as my hand moved to the front of her throat she broke off the kiss.  She smiled at me and whispered a good night as she exited my car.  I watched as she practically skipped to the door of her home.

         I took a deep breath and calmed my shaking hand.  That had been far too close for comfort.  I drove away from Lisa’s home at peace with the knowledge that I would soon be back within my sanctuary.



         At one in the morning I heard a loud banging on my front door.  After initial confusion and irritation I made my way to the front door and flung it open.  Standing at the threshold was Lisa with tears in her eyes.

         “What are you doing here?”  My ire continued to rise but I hid it.  Although I had seen enough of her for a lifetime I figured it would be a bad idea to turn her away.

         “I’m so sorry for waking you, but I just needed to see you.”

         “What’s the matter?”

         “Me and my parents got into a fight about you.  I told them I wanted to see you again and they started yelling and saying that you were too old and crap.  I got angry and left.”

         “And you came here?  Does anyone else know where you are?”

         “No, I was so angry I just left.  I drove around for a while and finally came here.”

         Excellent.  “Well, come on in,” I said.  “You want anything to drink?”

         Lisa entered with a sniffle.  “I don’t suppose you’d give me anything with alcohol, would you?”

         “The way I see it,” I said.  “Your parents are already angry with you and probably me, so some alcohol wouldn’t hurt you.  All I have is scotch.”

         “That’s fine,” Lisa said.  The tone of her voice became more upbeat. 

I poured a finger of scotch into a glass of ice and upon further thought decided to add another finger for good measure.  I carried Lisa’s drink to her as she sat with her arms around her knees on my couch.  I sat next to her and watched as she tried to take a large gulp of the scotch and cough some of it back up.

“It’s best if you sip the scotch, especially if you’re not used to it.”  Lisa tried again and this time managed the drink much better.  She drank silently and I noticed the tears had dried up.  I wondered how long it would take for the alcohol to get into her system.  It had been several hours since dinner and I doubted she had eaten anything since then and with her petite frame I estimated a rather quick intoxication.

Lisa set the glass down on the end table next to the couch avoiding the coaster.  I sighed knowing that the finish would be stained if I didn’t deal with it quickly enough.  Before I could do so, however, Lisa sprawled out on the couch and laid her head on my shoulder.

I sat for a moment wondering how to respond to this.  Lisa readjusted her position and without further thought I put my arm around her waist.  My hand felt the flatness of her stomach and the heat, amplified by the alcohol, emanating through her body.  Her blood would be warm and thinned by the alcohol.  Feeling it on my hand would be so nice.  Unconsciously my fingers began to gently scratch at her stomach as if they were trying to dig into her soft flesh.

“Thank you for being understanding, Sean,” Lisa said, looking at me with her blue eyes and taking gentle hold of the hand around her waist.  I allowed my muscles to relax as she guided my hand around her body, first down to her thighs and back up over her small breasts.  Lisa removed her hand from my own once she had settled on her cleavage.  Her eyes remained locked with mine giving a look that told me what she wanted.  Of my own freewill I moved my hand to cup one of her breasts.  After a moment of kneading my thumb into her flesh my hand moved further up her chest and my fingers began to dance on her neck.  Lisa seemed to shudder with pleasure and her eyes closed.

I smiled at her pleasure filled face and quickly clamped my hand around her beautiful, scrawny neck.  Her eyes shot open and the look of pleasure was replaced by that of fear.  She struggled at first but I simply tightened my grip on her throat.  Flailing her arms she tried to hit my smiling face but I remained focused and did not allow my hand to lose grip.

         Lisa’s eyes began to bulge out of her head and her face turned blue and veins began to protrude from her forehead.  Her hands grasped onto my own to tried to force me to release my grip but I did not.  My strength was greater than hers and her attempts at freedom were thwarted.  I remained vigilant and slowly the life was squeezed from Lisa’s body.  Her struggling stopped and soon her body relaxed.  I put two fingers on her neck to check her pulse and felt as the pumping grew fainter before stopping altogether.

         I continued to smile at Lisa’s now dead body with my hand still around her throat.  A gnat had just been exterminated to never again bother me.  I kissed her once on the lips and removed my hand from her throat.  I sat back and pondered my next course of action.  Body disposal was such a pain.

         I looked around my home for a creative idea and saw Lisa’s small purse sitting on the floor in front of the couch.  I gently placed Lisa’s head on my lap and reached down to retrieve her purse and searched through it.  Inside the purse was gum, keys, a round container with pills (likely birth-control), a cell phone, and a condom; so much for safety.  The cell phone I found most intriguing as I searched through the list of numbers inside.  One number I found most interesting and decided to use it to my advantage.

         Taking a precaution I locked up my house and drove several miles to find a gas station that still had a pay phone.  Seventy-five cents later I dialed the number I had found and hoped for an answer.  It felt strange hoping for a conversation with a gnat.

         “What up?” the voice on the other end said.

         “Hey Parker, it’s Sean, what’s up man, I didn’t wake you up did I?”

         “Aw hells no, dude,” Parker said in his annoying way.  “I was just playin’ some Modern Warfare.  What’s up? How did the date with Lisa go?”

         “That’s what I was calling you about.  I just dropped her off-”

         “Dude, it’s like two o’clock in the mornin’!  Did you hit that shit?”

         I gave a genuine laugh for once, “I did more than hit it, man.”

         “Shit dude! That’s awesome!  What is she like, is she a freak?”

         “Yeah, a little, she was kind of into the choking thing and, uh, recording.”

         “You got it on tape?”  Parker seemed to have increased in excitement.  “Dude, bro, man, you have got to let me see that tape.”

         I smiled, almost there.  “I don’t know man, that’s some personal stuff.”

         “Dude!  Bros before fuckin’ hoes!  Man Law requires you let me see that video.”

         “All right, all right.  You want to see it now?  I’m kind of wired and probably won’t sleep for a while.  You can come over if you want.”

         “Fuck yeah, dude!  Where you live?”

         I gave Parker the directions to my house and told him to let himself in.  I quickly got myself home and moved Lisa’s car to a fairly secluded spot.  At quarter to three I heard a car door close and I could only assume it was Parker.

         My door opened and Parker entered.  He looked around for a moment and his wondering gaze happened upon Lisa’s body.  “What the fuck?”

         Before Parker could move to the body or out the door I kicked the door shut and had a thin rope around his neck.  Kicking his feet out from under him I put my knee between his shoulder blades to keep him pinned down and pulled the rope as tightly as I could.  Parker struggled at first but soon he, like Lisa before him, succumbed to the lack of blood and oxygen to the brain and stopped struggling.

         Without missing a beat I rolled up Parker’s sleeves to find the needle tracks.  My suspicion of him being a heroin user was confirmed and I knew that it would help keep me from being suspected in murder.  Still moving I looked outside, down both sides of the street, and saw that the road was clear.  I lived far enough outside of the city that my closest neighbor was a good distance away.  They likely wouldn’t have seen anything due to how late it was.

         

With both bodies neatly tucked into Parker’s car I moved out.  I drove far enough away from my home to not to raise suspicion, but close enough it wouldn’t take me too long to get home.  Luckily I knew the area around my home quite well.  I found the spot I was looking for and stopped the car.  I once again looked around and saw no other soul.

I positioned the car as needed and placed Parker and Lisa’s bodies in the driver and passenger seats respectively.  I crawled beneath the car and with a flashlight between my teeth I located the fuel line and hit a sharp rock against it until it ruptured.  Moving quickly to keep the gas off of me I started Parker’s car, put it into drive and as it was starting to slowly move placed Parker’s foot against the gas pedal.  As the car sped up I slammed the door shut and watched as it plowed into a field and eventually ran into the forest where it hit a tree.  I watched with anticipation and finally satisfaction to see the car catch fire.  The fire was key to the entire event.  It had to burn away the evidence that Parker and Lisa were strangled.  If it didn’t then I would likely become suspect number one.  I was the main connection between the two.  I could see the news reports.

“Man kills girlfriend and best friend for affair.”

It would be sickening that they would assume that about Lisa and Parker.  Lisa wasn’t my girlfriend and Parker wasn’t even my friend despite what he thought. 

I continued to stand there for several minutes to make sure the entire car caught fire, including the bodies, before I made my return trip home.  I would just have to trust that the fire would take care of the problem.



         It took until Sunday evening for anyone to contact me about Lisa and Parker.  I was sitting at home reading when my phone rang.  A strange occurrence as I didn’t have a cell phone and my home phone was unlisted.

         “Hello?”

         “Sean?  It’s Lisa’s father,” the voice on the other end said.  I wondered what he wanted.  “Have you heard from Lisa?”

         I had already forgotten about Lisa.  The gnat was dead so why brood over it?

         “No, I haven’t heard from her since Friday, after I dropped her off.  Why, is she missing?”

         I heard him sigh heavily through the receiver.  “Yeah, we got in an argument Friday night and she stormed out.  We figured she went to a friend’s place to cool down and would call us when she was ready.”

         “Did you try to call her friends to see if she was at least there?”

         There was another heavy sigh.  “No, we didn’t think to do that and now she’s missing.”

         I almost said something about how he was such a great parent. 

         “I’m sorry, sir, I don’t know what to tell you.  If I hear from her I’ll let you know.”

         “Thanks, Sean,” Lisa’s father said.  “Hey, look, I’m sorry I was so rude to you Friday night.  You really didn’t seem like that bad of a guy.”

         “Thanks,” I said.  I returned the phone to its holder and looked at it for a moment.  I then smiled at the irony of what Lisa’s father had just said.



         I returned to work and things seemed to be going fine.  News had yet to spread about Lisa’s disappearance and nobody even seemed to notice Parker was missing.  He may not have had many people to miss him.  Things were peaceful for a time.

         Then the news broke about two bodies being found in a burnt out car.  The fire had completely destroyed the car and left the bodies difficult to identify.  Dental records were barely able to identify the bodies as Lisa Danielle Morgen and Parker Bradley Jansen as the victims of the terrible accident.  The office was caught off guard and I suddenly came to the center of everyone’s attention.  Everyone had seen me talk to both Lisa and Parker and thought of them as my friends.  My coworkers swarmed me to offer condolences and promises of help if I needed anything.  They amazed at how well I was taking the news of my friends’ deaths.

         It had all worked out better than I expected.  Too well, in fact; instead of being proclaimed a monster I became the center of sympathy.  The two gnats that I had killed were nothing compared to the swarm that now harassed me.