I Wish I was Brave

Remember when we drove out
to the ocean near the hollow cave
to watch the sunset sink into the
crisp waters. You spoke to me
with such shy voices. Yet it
echoed in my hears.
So clear. So vivid.So beautiful.
You wanted to go swim
in the ocean
I knew it was too deep to
swim too far in
but you were so eager to,
I could not say no.
As you pulled onto my arm to
lead me onto the shore
I couldn't help but notice the way
your eyes shone against the
Sun. As if your eyes
and the Sun were
competing on who could
make me love more
I didn't dare touch the water
I had no bathing suit but
you removed your shirt and
glided in, the waves curling against
your sunkissed belly.
O' how I wished I had your
brave and fearless heart.
There I was, standing awkwardly
on the sand,
watching you soak in the
Sun's vibrant energy.
So effortlessly you made
being brave be when in reality
it is the hardest task in life
One second. I wish I could've been brave.
Just one.
I had glanced away to stare
at my toes dig into the warm sand
You decided to drift further into
the deep ocean.
As if the water was enchanting you
and calling your beloved name
And then you vanished.
Like a thief in the night,
how suddenly you were stolen from me
from life.
It was as if the massive waves
stood up and hugged your fragile frame
And I, like a pathetic lover,
watched as you yelled my name
for help, for the very last time
I watched you take your last gulp of air
and become swallowed by the fatal waves
For one second.
I could've saved you.
I could have been brave
like you.
And when I cry to this very day
My tears remind me of
the same liquid that had killed you
How could something so beautiful
endure so much pain and ugliness to my heart
And I wonder...
Will the same tears, liquid like the waves
from my eyes, that watched you drown away from my world,
kill me, too?