2 In one

Yeah these two topics r different: 1st one is trying to figure out what is a friend and the 2end topic is about my guy friend and how i want him to comfort me regarding any subject.

Friends are...
I'm not myself and my heart cries bc i try to understand myself and what are "friends?" Bc they are nothing like the movies that i see.
I head 4 co workers be friend me on face book, plus 2 sisters that i met once. But what is the point befriending pple on social net work or over the phone; when they don't want to be your friend or get to know you in real life? I understand if ur like 2 hrs or more faraway but what excuse can those other pple give me if they live right next to me? Is it just me being to needy for attention..and maybe that is y i complain out load to myself tonight. I must have done something wrong to my old and new friends bc they disappear like seasons.
What is the definition of a friend? bc either i am at fault for burning the bridges or i was not worth to be remembered by my pears. I must have not held any value in their hearts and minds if they have forgotten me already and moved on in life for a better tomorrow, and left me behind.
Moreover don't get me wrong..I am grateful for all the souls who come into my life. Bc that must mean i made an impression in someones eyes yet it well take time for them and me to see each other through our hearts.

I need a hug and a kiss only from you...
I am feeling lonely tonight and not myself but i would love to call you so you could comfort me with your voice. I have already learned ur ways and know that you would not pick up the phone until its too late for ur words to comfort me in ur grace.
The one i want to hug and kiss is know where to be found this late at night. U do not see me but u do walk in my thoughts all the time. U do not know this in ur heart but i need to feel ur touch and ur kiss against my lips and thighs. I need u to ripe ur arms from behind me: like they do in the movies. Y r u so different from all other men who crossed my path with me? I continue to hope to experience ur touch against my frail skin some day; except my hopes are empty bc i already know that u wont let me go to see u but will keep me in the dark for a little while longer; while continuing to talk to me threw the cracks in the wall of an old abundant house. Why i do not know but it makes me sad and feel worthless deep in my soul yet i always respond with a smile or tears when i hear his voice. Wither i hear u through text or phone u seize my mind under ur control and my mind still thinks there is some hope for me to see u in this world.