Censorsational

"That was this week's number two, 'The Way to My Heart' by Sarah Jane, down one from the top spot last week. You're with Dan Tasty on Chart Toppers and that brings us to our brand new number one!"

"Well, you all know the story by now - it's the song you weren't supposed to hear. Mixed over a year ago at the sound studio in Berkeley University's music department, it's been more controversial than 1992's 'Cop Killer'."

"Originally scheduled for release before the New Hampshire primary, it's the song that brought down a President. Banned so tight, even the internet couldn't crack it. We've had hints and rumors and at least six fake releases. No song in the history of music has captured the world's imagination like this one!

"Why they felt the need to keep it from us, I guess we'll never really know for sure. It's taken months. It's taken dozens of lawyers and hundreds of protests. It's been to the District Court. It's been to the Appeal Court. It's gone all the way to the Supreme Court, and now we can finally hear it for ourselves!"

"Even more sensational than anyone ever imagined, it's certainly put the cat among the pigeons this week. Everyone from Stephen Hawking to the Pope has had something to say about it and there's no sign of the ruckus letting up any time soon. Whatever it means, we will never be the same! Whatever it means, the charts will never be the same! So without further ado, here's the song that's broken every record in the book! The song that claims to include a message from the stars!! Number one with a bullet, it's 'This Can't Be Real' by SETI and the ETs!!!"