The Backward Walking Movement

THE BACKWARD WALKING MOVEMENT 

Welcome friends to the Movement of Backward Walking - the latest and truest pathway of life to emerge from this evermore troubled world of drinking, drugs, promiscuity, blasphemous television, religions, athiests, too much tax, too few houses, too many people, too many pop stars, too much Simon Cowell, too many footballers, too few goals, too many prisoners, too few prisons, too many poor people, too few millionaires, too many patients, too few Doctors,too many cars, too little petrol, too many Sundays.........I could go on.
I want to say friends that this is a golden opportunity to be one of the first chosen devotees - don't let this pass you by and return to your shallow, empty, meaningless, lost lives. You could be one of the special one's encompassed by our pure and undefiled love. Mathmatical calculation has proven that the world as we know it will end on our founders birthday in 2058 or 2085. Join us today and be safe! 
Friends there isn't enough time to go into detail now but by signing up to our newly enhanced fantastic introductory course you will learn everything you need to know.
Let me just say that by walking 3 times a day for just 10 minutes at the specially selected times of 6a.m.,12 mid-day and 6p.m. you will soon find your true inner self harmonizing with the universe. You may well achieve a perpetual smile and might even welcome feeling miserable occasionally just to give yourself a rest.
That's all you need to do friends. There are no other rules, for as you will learn there are no absolute rules, only contradictions.
Friends, you may not realise this but everything that has come into being was prophesised by that wonderful 60's hit by Helen Shapiro "Walking back to Happiness."