missing

Did you ever miss someone or something more than you could possibly know? I have, more than once, more than twice and I would say I miss that person every day of my life. I miss the way he would hug and kiss me even if I didn't want to be. I wish I could take back all the harsh things said between us and I wish I held onto something from him just to help me get by each day of the week. I know I shouldn't be holding on this tight, but deep down I know he's all I really got. Somedays I wish I had our child just so I could see his face every day and maybe for once I would be happy even if everyone around me hated me. I didn't know it would hurt this bad watching you fade away out of my life, I didn't know two years later it would hurt this bad all over again and again... and well again! I hate seeing you hold her and kiss her because I always wish it was me, you didn't have anything and yes you weren't going anywhere in life. Though, I never been so loved by another half until I met you and now that you're gone I'm wishing I did something to keep you around. Yes, missing the best thing in my life is now officially gone and when I look at my dog I am reminded you are the reason I have the only happiness I could hold tight.
I miss you and I know you have moved on but I just wanted to let you know, I regret everything we done wrong, I regret having your family wish I was never around. I think what I miss the most is being able to be myself around you and knowing that even without make up you could love me just as much as the next girl. I cried so many tears, bled so many scars just to try and get rid of this empty hole inside of my heart that seems to grow deeper everyday. I never thought I miss you this much until I was used for everything I had by one guy and now when I lay in my bed... I'm wishing you were beside me all over again.