The Pains of Success

                   The following is the strange but true story of Jeff Byles



         Jeff grew up in a quaint little neighbourhood, full of quaint children to play with. He had lovely parents and a lovely family. Jeff liked many things and was a well behaved little boy. When Jeff grew a bit older his parents sent him away to a elementary school with all the other little boy and girls to a nice local public school. At this school there was very nice people who taught him very nice things. Jeff did well in school and was happy.

         Time passed and Jeff became a big boy and started attending woodpile public High School. Jeff enjoyed his first year, but in his second year something strange began to happen to him.

         Though Jeff didn't realize it at first (He isn’t the sharpest tool in the crayon box) he eventually began to realize what was happening. Everyday after school, after he would learn nice things and socialize with friends, he would go home. When Jeff got home he would open the door, look around and then get clubbed in the head and pass out. Jeff would then awake the next morning half an hour to forty five minutes before he had to leave to go to school. He would have no time to ask what happened because his parents were to busy rushing him. This happened every day of the week. He would get home, get knocked out wake up and go to school. Jeff often wondered what was going on and felt like he should see someone but he ignored the feeling, besides it seemed to have a strong positive effect on his grades, and he had time to eat and socialize with his friends at school.

         After awhile the clubbing got worse, sometimes he would get home from school on a Friday and get clubbed and knocked out for all of Saturday, not waking up until Sunday. This was fine by Jeff though, for Sunday is a grand day for fun with friends or a T.V. or sports. After all with all his life being friends and school he didn’t have to many other activities that took up his time.

         Eventually Jeff grew up and got a wonderful job and became a wonderful father and got married to a good looking respectable woman. The clubbing in those days were the worst though. The clubbing began to change however, it was now from 8:00 am to 5:00pm. When Jeff got home he wanted to spend time with his kids and his wife but he was too busy icing his wounds to do anything of real value. In those days Jeff became a very droll individual, he laughed at dry jokes and read boring books, he payed his taxes (which kind of excited him) and he mumbled words of wisdom to his children when they misbehaved. Jeff had few interests and few close friends, he barley enjoyed his wife’s company and could never escape the pain that inhabited the lumps on his forehead.

         Now Jeff didn't realize this but he was not the only one getting clobbered everyone else his age was too. But Jeff, unlike the rest had a weak head (what others would got a bad trait, but from God's view a good ability) One day Jeff got to worked and was clobbered over the head, this time he did not faint, instead he grabbed the “clamberer” by the throat and looked him in the eyes, he could not believe what he saw, it was a man with out a lump dressed nicely all in black, but the man was no stranger it was himself. Now Jeff began to stare at Jeff and nice head Jeff said with tears in his eyes “I'm sorry this was for your own good”. Then nice head Jeff clobbered him over the head again only this time it cracked his skull, and his brain pored out on to the ground and Clobbered Jeff said “finally! I'm free!” and ran to the forest, but Jeff was to old and he died before he got there.

         This brings us to the present Jeff currently lies in a cemetery where his wife visits him occasionally to put out flowers (only when she isn't being clobbered over the head though) and his children mourn upon him, soon to get little lumps of their own.