Welcomed Death

Locked in a chasm of pain and destruction I smile,
I am about to die, arent I? Please hurry and take me,
I am thankful for the blurry eyes and loss of blood,
I am grateful that I am losing the clingy grip of my life,
Where the fuck were you a long time ago?
Where were you when i tried blowing my brains out?
Where were you when I took the pills?
Where the fuck were you when I tried to hang myself?
I smile at my death because I see it!
I see it as freedom from this mortal coil of pain,
Life rapes me every day and cums inside me,
Filling me with pain, anguish, and failures,
I give birth to children. Bastards and little shits,
Like insecurity, hatred, pain, attitude, neediness,
I have been the vessel of all life's evil all my life,
My pulse is slowing now and I can barely see,
There are no angels meeting me, no choirs,
Was it not good enough to torture me during my life?
Now in death i have to be alone too?
Wait! No! Stop! Take the paddles from my chest,
I want to go to my eternal grave and finally rest!
I feel a fucking shock and my heart beats again,
I see beautiful blue demon eyes and I'm pissed,
I ask the beautiful demon with the mask on her face,
WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU BRING ME BACK!
I WAS HAPPY WHEN I THOUGHT I WAS DYING!
I was finally free. I could finally fucking rest.
I could finally sleep nightmareless and undesturbed.
I know why now. Why I am meant to suffer this way,
I am meant and made to suffer so the world can smile. . .
And laugh at me.