Ch. 3

“So, tell me more, are you and Christian finally dating yet?” Caitla asked during one of our many phone nights.

“NO! I would never! It’s not like he isn’t cute or absolutely perfect; but I just can’t see him as boyfriend material. He’s more, best friend material, ya know?”

“Oh, he’s gay isn’t he?”

“NO!!! What in the world gives you that idea?”

“Well, most guys that are gorgeous, sweet, and don’t mind hanging out with girls while avoiding relationship difficulties often are. Aren’t they?” She had a point. The only guy friends I had in Connecticut that were worth hanging out with were gay. The rest just spent their time trying to get into my pants. “Anyway, at least answer me this, ya met any vampires yet?” She said giggling.

“Oh, shut up! Why are you so stuck on this vampire kick? You’ve been reading too much Ann Rice again haven’t you?”

“I was referring to the politicians, genius. Don’t you remember what I said the last night we hung out at your house up here?” I thought long and hard. What had she said? She told me to watch out for vampires but she said she was talking about something else and it wasn’t politicians…hmmm.

“You didn’t say they were politicians, you said they were televangelists.” Ha, ha! Success, I won an argument.

“Ok, whatever. So tell me about the televangelists then. Is the church really such a huge thing down there or is it overplayed? Does Christian go to one?”

“I actually asked Christian about that and he says the Mega Southern Baptist Churches are like that but the smaller churches aren’t that bad. Mom is having us go to one of the Mega churches because she feels like it’ll be a great way to meet new people. So far, I’m actually a bit frightened. It’s like a completely blind faith. There’s no concrete to it. These pastor’s, televangelists, whatever’s, just smack you on the head, read some Latin gibberish and then people fall to the floor in some kind of spasm or whatever and to be honest, it creeps me out.”

“Wow, sounds crazy. But that didn’t answer my question about Christian. Is he into all of that?”

“Oh, no, thank God! He grew up Lutheran; much less dramatic and far more logical. I wish mom would let me go to church with him, but she says it isn’t right for me to hang out with a guy that is that much older than I am. I mean, seriously, he’s a whole two years older! That’s nothing. Oh well, I gotta go. Mom says it’s time to go to the evening service any way. I’m supposed to be getting healed of my anxieties tonight; whatever that means.”

“Ok, well good luck.”

“Yeah, thanks. Later.” I hung up the phone, continued getting ready in my tiny loft of a room and headed downstairs and out of our small town house. My mom had already cranked up the car and was locking up the doors. “Hey Andrew, stay out of my room while I’m gone!!” I screamed up at him.

“Ready to go kiddo?” She grinned. She was so excited and wanted nothing more than for me to enjoy this moment as much as she was. I was skeptical and she knew it but she was still excited none-the-less.

“I guess, sure. Why doesn’t Andrew have to go? I mean, it’s not like he couldn’t use some ‘healing’ himself.”

“Oh, Rei, you know he has finals to study for. He really needs to stay home to study.” Sure, right, study…that’s exactly what he’ll do. Not!! I smiled anyway hoping to hide my nervousness. I had no idea what was about to happen to me but meeting with one of these pastors face to face in a crowd of 2,000 just wasn’t my idea of fun. As we got into the car I went over in my head all the good things that could come of this. Maybe it really will relieve my anxiety. Maybe I’m making mountains out of mole hills. I wish Christian were here, but he was just as wary of the Mega churches as I was. About 15 minutes of silent riding, we pulled into the massive parking lot.

“Here we are!” My mom giggled with excitement. Watching as the huge crowd of cars and people piled into the office style like building that was supposed to be the main sanctuary, I began to get nervous again. I looked around at every one. There were huge numbers and varieties of people. Young, old, middle aged, children, teenagers, everyone. As we entered the crowded lobby I shook hands with one of the welcome ladies.

“We’re so glad you could come tonight! We look forward to really helping you find your path.” She seemed sincere enough but her eyes looked funny. Were they black? I looked again but then I noticed that they were just incredibly dark brown. Calm down Rei. You’re nervous and your imagination goes a little crazy when you’re nervous, just chill. We sat down in one of the crowded pews near the front. Huge screens and speakers surrounded us from above. As the service started, the choir of 50 plus people started singing and clapping followed by a crowd of people behind me waving their arms like they were in a rock concert. I clapped along nervously and as I looked over at my mother, she was right at home. She was waving her arms and clapping and swaying with the music. I can’t put my finger on it, but this all just didn’t feel right.

Looking around, I noticed one guy in particular. He was in the back part of the sanctuary leaning against the back wall. He was dressed casually, dark jeans, white tee, and a black leather jacket but was incredibly handsome. He must be a model or something. He definitely has the dark brooding look. I didn’t remember seeing him when we walked in but then again, we are in a room with over 1,000 people in it.

Several songs later, none of which I knew, the pastor moved into his lecture/sermon. What was it about? I’m guessing mostly that we’re all going to Hell if we don’t give them money to raise awareness about Christianity to all the non-believers. I turned again to see if the guy in the dark jeans was still back there. He wasn’t. Bummer too, because that was the only real distraction I had from this whole craziness. I turned again and as the lead pastor continued, the part I feared most finally arrived. One of the assistant pastors called out to the crowd asking for anyone in need of healing to come to the front to receive the blessings he had to offer. I distinctly noticed he did not say blessings that God or Jesus had to offer, just blessings that he had to offer. My mother gave me a gentle nudge and urged me forwards toward the assistant pastor.

“No!” I whispered vehemently. “I don’t want those crazies smacking me on the head. Can’t we just go already? I don’t like it here.” My mother’s eyes narrowed, her lips thinned, and her scowl overpowered my ability to argue.

“If nothing else, you’ll have a small headache. But what if it really works? Come on, I’ll go with you if you want?” My mother was so sure of this. I couldn’t understand it but if I was going to embarrass myself, I’d rather not worsen it with her beside me.

“Oh please no! I’ll go.” She smiled weakly relinquishing her scowl and I, in defeat, reluctantly walked forward. I looked around, hoping to see the cute guy again but to no avail. Head bowed and feeling very frustrated, I continued towards the assistant pastor. When I got there, I determinedly refused to look him in the eye. Looking to my left and right, I saw a few other teens begrudgingly standing in the same position as I was. Head bowed, lips curled down and eyes shut. Standing a few inches from the young assistant pastor, I heard him whisper in my ear, “Are you ready for your healing?” He said it almost like a growl. I shook my head automatically and looked up.

Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw. He had depthless, glistening black eyes that only I could see and an evil grin spreading wide across his face. My head and body covered his pale face so the crowd could not see. He began to place his cold hands on my forehead and cheek just as I had seen so many others do and then he leaned down to whisper to me once more.

“This will only hurt for a moment. You will remember nothing after except that your fear and anxiety will be no more.” My eyes widened even more as his dark eyes drilled into mine. This is so unreal. This isn’t happening. Not possible, this is not possible. No way am I seeing this. Get a grip Rei, this isn’t real! Just use your eyes moron, he’s standing right there. It must be real and you aren’t dreaming. Staring into his dark eyes again I saw nothing different. They were black as night. His head leaned forward some more as if to whisper something else to me but instead, I felt the cold touch of his lips on my neck. Pushing his face back I saw them. He had the longest canine teeth I’d ever seen on any man. This couldn’t be right. The eyes, the teeth, this isn’t real! I shoved the man back as hard as I could but it felt more like punching a brick wall. I screamed at the top of my lungs, turned and bolted down the aisle.

A quick jerk of the arm stopped me in my tracks. My mom held my arm as long as she could but I turned to her with utter fear in my eyes and begged her to leave with me. She just stared as if I’d completely lost my mind. Maybe I have. There’s no way I saw what I just saw. They aren’t real! Story books don’t come to life and monsters aren’t real. But I saw him. I heard him. I felt him. It all looked, sounded, and felt real enough to me. The hysterics were rising in my throat. “Mom,” I begged again, “Please, please, let’s leave. I don’t feel safe here! It isn’t right. That guy, that pastor, he isn’t…” Wait…what could I say? He isn’t human? He isn’t real? She saw me go up there. The whole church had to be staring at this point.

“Honey, honey it’s ok! Just go back. This is your anxiety coming out. The pastor’s said this would happen the first time you received healing. That was the sermon tonight. The lead pastor said ‘Fear not the devils within for they will fight to leave the body.’ That’s all this is. The demons of anxiety are trying to keep you down.”

“ARE YOU CRAZY?!?” I screamed at her. I’ve never screamed at my mother before but this made no sense. Was she so desperate to fit in that she was oblivious to the obvious danger? “This is no church mom; I don’t know what it is but last I checked Jesus didn’t have fangs!” A sharp slap went across my face and I stared shocked at my mother. She tried to grab my arm again but I slipped out of her reach.

Tears streaming down my face, I ran from the sanctuary. ‘What is going on? This isn’t real. It has to be a bad dream. If what I saw was real then…no that’s insane! It can’t be real.’ I stopped thinking. I had to be logical about this. As calmly as possible, I headed towards the ladies room. Quietly walking down the hall, I tried to process all the things I’d just witnessed. Ok, he had dark, creepy eyes; check, excessively long and pointy teeth, check. Oh, come on Rei! People have dental issues. Let’s not forget dark brown eyes. “Not that dark…” interrupted my subconscious.

You are making a total fool of yourself. Just go back into the church, sit with your mother and apologize profusely to the preacher. Explain you have an over active imagination and everything will be ok. Oh, my poor mother! She must be so embarrassed. I walked into the bathroom, checked my face for makeup runs and made my way back to the sanctuary. It wasn’t hard to spot my mother. She was surrounded by concerned and reassuring people. With my head bowed, I walked towards the crowd.

“Rei!” My mother shrieked. “Are you ok? I’m so, so sorry! Honey, speak to me.” I couldn’t look her in the eye, much less speak to her. I felt the burning tears in my eyes threaten to leak out again. She wasn’t mad anymore. Sniffling a little, I felt her reassuring arms grab hold of me in a long and concerned embrace. I buried my head into her shoulder and let the tears flow.

“Mom, I’m sorry,” I mumbled without picking my head up. “Can we just go home? Please?” I sounded like a whimpering child and I knew it but the embarrassment was too much to look her directly in the eye.

“Sure,” she said gently in my ear. With my head humbly remaining bowed, I took her hand and let her lead me away. Bodies pushed and pressed against us and words were streaming from concerned voices but I didn’t listen. I tuned out all the noise and focused on one thing; my silent loft waiting for me at home. Flashes of the guy I’d seen earlier streaked across my memory but only for a second. Trying to focus on what he looked like was incredibly difficult. Red hair, maybe? He was too far away to see his eyes but the hair was definitely a dark red.

I don’t remember most of the ride home except a lot of mumbled apologies and a few ‘I don’t know’ answers. When we got into the house I began to think a little clearer. Andrew was locked in his room so I figured I might as well get this conversation over with mom as soon as possible. Last thing I want to do is talk to her about it while Andrew was listening in. What if he told Christian! “Mom,” I said a little weakly. “Should I apologize to the pastor?” I didn’t think I could face him after such an embarrassing episode. “Maybe I could just write him and apology note?” I suggested carefully. She looked at me, eyes full of concern and apprehension. “I just don’t think I could face him again.”

“Honey, you should probably call him at the very least. He seemed so concerned about you.” What, he talked to her? She watched me closely eyeing my reaction. She knew that I didn’t approve of the idea but considering the amount of embarrassment she suffered, I should do what she asks at the very least.

“Do we need to go to the hospital? I mean, are you having a reaction to something?”

“I don’t know what it was, but I’m fine. Really.” Help, I don’t need help! I need, I need…what, a stake? A cross? Clearly crosses don’t work, they’re in churches. What am I talking about, these things aren’t real! My mother is right. She has to be. “Ok, maybe you’re right. Let’s go.” She looked at me with concern and skepticism. “No, seriously mom, I have to be reacting to something. Stress maybe or the big change in scenery, possibly the nervousness of coming here? My mind and imagination are over reacting.” I felt exhausted all of a sudden. My legs were weak and passing out wasn’t far from my list. My brain is having an action overload. I was so scared of this church, so scared of this crowd I let my imagination run wild. My mother gingerly walked me back to the car. Luckily, Andrew was still in his room so he didn’t have to witness my embarrassing episode. More importantly, he couldn’t report it to Christian, though he might actually understand my fear of this Mega church.

When we got in the car mom took me straight to the local Urgent Care Center. She had to all but carry me inside. I leaned heavily on her shoulder, too weak from the stress to walk or think clearly. I sat down in the waiting room while my mother walked up to the nurse’s station to check me in. I closed my eyes and relived the last hour in my mind. What did I see? The lady at the front with dark eyes…no they were just brown. I blocked out most of the sermon and saw the guy in the jeans. Then mom coaxed me to the front. I looked for the hot guy again and then up at the assistant pastor and his eyes were dark; had to be deep brown. But the fangs…no, no, they were just really long canines. Mega churches have lots of money right? The guy probably has a fantastic dentist. Yeah, perfectly white pointy teeth; completely normal.

“Rei?” My mom tapped my shoulder and I opened my eyes. “We have to go see the doctor now.” She was still worried. Why did my imagination have to go so wild? I’m fine, perfectly fine. It’s time for my straight face. We walked to the back room following a nurse. I looked around at the plain paintings of beach scenery and sea shelled wall paper. At the end of the hall the nurse led us into a little room. It wasn’t the typical patient room. This one had a small couch in it and two arm chars. The nurse asked my mother and me to take the couch. After a few preliminary questions about family history and current medications she announced the doctor would be with us shortly. When the nurse left, my mom just looked down at her shoes. “Of all the people to have a nervous breakdown; I thought you were my rock Rei. You were my solid level headed kid. What happened?”

“I freaked. I just, I freaked.” I bowed my head, so ashamed of my actions. How could I be so stupid? My chats with Caitla went to my head on top of the fact that I didn’t want to go to the church. We sat in silence for a few more minutes. After a little while, the doctor came in.

“Hi,” he looked at his chart, “Reilynn? Wow, what a pretty name.”

“It’s just Rei.” Ugh, the friendly doctor type. My mother glared at me. I sighed. I wish he would just tell me he thinks I’m crazy and let us go home. I’m tired of this already.

“Ok, Rei. You’re mom says you had a bit of a fit about an hour ago? What do you say?” Wow, straight to the point.

“Yeah, I guess I just freaked. I have a wild imagination and I thought I saw something and I didn’t. I’m just stressed ok? Really, I’m fine.”

“No need to be in denial Rei, just tell me how you feel.”

“I’m seriously not in denial. I was stressed out, I freaked out, and I bolted. End of story.” After a few more minutes of drilling into my brain and trying to find something that wasn’t there the doctor asked if he could talk to me alone. “I’m not hiding anything from my mom. There’s nothing more to tell.”

“Rei!” My mother said, shocked at my abrupt rudeness.

“What? I’ve answered his questions now I want to go home. There’s nothing more to tell.” I was no longer scared, freaked out, or even worried about what I saw. I had convinced myself that my mind had played tricks on me and that was that. “Look, sir. I’m a logical enough person. I basically cracked under pressure and became temporarily delusional.”

“Well, that’s that.” The doctor looked at me with confidence that I wasn’t crazy. “Please ma’am.” He looked at my mother. “Just a minute alone with Rei, and I’ll be glad to let you both go.”

“Are you sure doctor?” He winked at her.

The doctor continued, “In fact, I saw in your records that you only live a few blocks from here. Ten minute walk at most right? Go ahead and check Rei out of the hospital and do the final paper works. I just want to give Rei a few calming recommendations in case she over stresses again and we’ll be done. Promise.” He grinned widely trying to reassure my mother. It obviously worked because she smiled back at him, said ‘ok’ and headed out the door. “Oh, one more thing” he added as she started to walk out, “My main recommendation is that Rei should walk home. It’s part of the stress relief technique. That is, if it is ok with you?”

His solid reinforcing voice and worry free tone ensured her enough. I guess he was right. Walking did make me feel better. Maybe I should walk home.

“Rei, is that ok with you?” My mom asked, though she clearly looked less concerned.

“Sure. I guess. Fresh air will do me good.”

“It’s settled. Go check her out and I’ll send Rei on her way in a few minutes.” My mom waved bye to both of us and the doctor turned to me. After a few bogus relaxation tips, he looked me right in the eyes. “Now Rei, I want you to listen very closely.” He leaned in closer to me and whispered in my ear. “This won’t hurt a bit.” The sound sent a shiver down my spine. It was the same words. The same evil whisper I heard back at the church coming from a different voice. I flung myself over to the other side of the couch and stared at a different pair of pitch black eyes similar to what I’d seen at the church. He grinned again but this was different. There was cruelty in that grin and slowly he opened his mouth exposing his perfectly pointed white teeth. I grabbed my purse, slapped him in the face and bolted out of the door. My mother was long gone and the few blocks home now seemed like miles.