Turning away from the world/Fading Away

On your peripheral vision, like a flake of dust, a distorted image.
Say goodbye to me like a waking dream.   
Will you still be there, when I have destroyed almost all of myself.
The cracks are starting to show, and the pain seeps through.
Seamless and unseen, quiet like a ghost.
Disease of the mind, is beginning to grow in your heart.
Unforgiven; solemn, and alone.

My self-loathing is eating away at my soul.
I grit my teeth and clench my fists in anticipation of pleasure and pain.
This love/hate apathy I feel, is taking it's toll, and I am wasting away in misery.
I have creating this living hell, a waking dream, my nightmare everyday.
We have to die to feel alive, to face death and not be afraid to live.
Please forgive my stupidity; my selfishness, my arrogance.
My heart will always be heavy with woe, since I have lived a tragic life; much like Poe.

I despise who I am, and whoever I will become.
Fate has a funny way of playing a cosmic joke on us, but what is the punch line?
Shut out the outside world, watching it all fade into nothing.
Detachment from all ties and bonds, relieves me of social inadequacy.
Free again to mutilate, rip apart what I hate within myself, to become the newer version of myself.