Shut down

With everything going on i feel like i'm in all of it. I feel like it all flies by and hits me hard. by now these impacts have became merely blows that i ignore. I want to curl up and have the world forget me for a bit. To ignore. I know it wont happen so i become ignorant. I don,t care anymore. they hit me if they want. They cry if they want. I don't care. I'm numb. I hate it. I want to be okay but i don't know if that could ever work out. I could be and perk myself up. Whats the point of acting happy when you aren't?