Mother of the Year

I picked up the newspaper in a rare moment of peace after work. Ah. Silence. After reading a few articles, I came to one that made seriously ask out loud, "Are you fucking serious?"

I don't know what state YOU live in, but recently a few women have been given the fabulous title of "Mother of the Year" and "Young Mother of the Year" for Nevada, where I unfortunately live for the time being. Now, you might ask what selfless things they did to get themselves nominated? They sent resumes themselves. That is correct. They nominated themselves for the award.

Am I the only one who finds this hysterical? Stephanie Waite, given the "Young Mother of the Year" title, has had 7 children and she is 36 years old. One of her children drowned in 2008, and she became a popular online blogger, sharing her grief over the loss of her two year old. (I can't imagine this loss, as I have one that age myself). She takes her kids to church on Sunday. She has them participate in community service activities. She "sacrificed her career as a criminal defense attorney" to stay home and be a mom.

Lady! Give it up! You chose to have children! When you did THAT, you went ahead and sacrificed a whole lot- stomach tone, privacy in the bathroom, empty laundry baskets, the ability to sleep in on weekends, and control over the television. Having a baby every other year for 10 years? That is a sacrifice BY CHOICE (that you should probably seek mental evaluation for)! Should you get an award for going to church? No. Should you be rewarded for community service? Sure! It's called an intrinsic reward experience- you feel it on the inside. Obviously, you don't know what those are, the reason for your dire desire to nominate yourself for public awards in the hopes of winning a dinky photo shoot for an airbrushed picture the size of a standard piece of band-aid gauze. Personally, I believe people with litters of children are doing a disservice to society. It's a sacrifice for us all. If you're so bent on community service, adopt a few!

American Mothers, Inc., the organization who bestows such titles for the nation, says they are non-political and interfaith. The Nevada Association, the state level of the organization, seems to favor a certain faith. And does someone need to be religious to be a good mother?? Why should that be a deciding factor? I know plenty of excellent mothers just just can't get to church because they have to work. You know, for food, clothes, soap. God provides, but not always in the form of cash, bill payments, or Tide. Where is the diversity that represents this community? I only see one shade of woman here- and that's white. I know there are so many other fabulous moms in Nevada.

See the problem is that there are certain women out there who become mothers, and they require recognition. I read another article in US magazine, quality literary material, where Ali Lerter of "Heroes" said after having her son in December, there are days where she just can't get to brushing her teeth. Whoa. I can understand a shower/bath. Those require you to get naked and get completely wet and soapy, so that for a few moments, you cannot see your baby or jump right out and hug him. I can also understand using the toilet for extended, um, movements. This can also tie you up, or down, for a few minutes. But brushing your teeth? Aren't you being a bit dramatic Ali?? Are you trying to make yourself sound like a "hero", because no one thinks about someone who ADMITS to not brushing their teeth all day sometimes as a "hero". However, she takes 30 minutes a night to "read or take a bath. Every mom needs it." I say use a few of those minutes! Hey! Multi-task! Real moms do that!

You can move with a toothbrush. I do it all the time!! I put the toothpaste on, begin brushing, and, "AHHHHH!"
Guess what?
I continue to brush, and I walk towards the scream! I can even take the brush out of my mouth momentarily to talk! That's right!
"AJ! Stop trying to brush Rocky with the pooper scooper rake! Gross!" I place brush back in my mouth, take said rake away and place outside, wash my hands, and complete the brush. I FLOSS while keeping my son from unrolling the toilet paper, but I'm not adding that to a resume. I'm not bragging. Because that is called common sense! No offense, Ali, but you're dumb.

The point is, being a mother isn't something to be rewarded FOR. Suck it up, you greedy, title happy, snobs. Being a mother is the reward, the gift, you have been given. If you want a reward, raise your kids properly, and see what you get! You don't get a certificate for doing a great job opening gifts at Christmas; so HO HO HOLD that application. Put that effort into your kids instead.