Put Me To Sleep Chapter 1

The dark, midnight shadows crept slowly from the ground, lifting so effortlessly and touching and feeling its way round my goose-bump covered body which lacked clothing. I shivered as it made its way under my skin leaving me so cold that my teeth chattered and small whimpering sounds escaped my thin, blue lips. The shadows, icy cold and whispering words that I'd be too afraid to ever speak created questions and doubts in my head.

Is this a sign?

Am I already weakening?

I dropped to me knees and groaned inwardly as the shadows continued to speak sinfully, leaving me afraid and vulnerable as I was already compelled by their mystical ways, how they seem to be able to predict these things of horror that didn't seem possible before but are now starting to make me believe that this could be true. I hugged my stomach which felt cold and covered in cold sweat. I felt it wad being disturbed by something as it was tossing and turning making the bile in my stomach rise and leaving me gagging and desperately wanting the air to flow back in my lungs.

I lay on the cold, dust ground of the familiar woods and turn me head to see the tree tops surrounding me, looking angry and furiously swaying in the wind as if warning me that something bad will come my way. But the silver-white rock which hung in the sky, lighting up the earth for the night life left me under its spell, analysing every deep crater and crevasse that covered it. The moon was always something I could count on as it concealed of many secrets worthy of someone's life. It contains some secrets that even I don't know, some I'm not supposed to know and that's one reason this is happening to me. That's why the shadows are coming to me as I am becoming too weak for this. I am not worthy of their trust anymore. I am no longer the same sin obsessed person I used to be. I can no longer hurt people and I can no longer feed on their souls as I prefer to gain what I need through other methods other than taking peoples souls and stealing their lives. I can survive using only souls of the already dead but it seems that they are weak and not enough to make me like the others. Strong and valiant, not weak and insecure. Demanding and beautiful but it seems I look small and I know for sure I'm dying. Dead souls don't seem to be doing me a whole lot of good.

My eyelids started feeling heavy and drooped slowly to close fully but I fought to keep them open. I fluttered them open slowly and struggled to focus them on the bright full moon which looked fuzzy and as if seen through an unfocused camera lens. But I knew I couldn't control it anymore. My chest heaved up and down heavily, my oxygen supply nearly being cut off lead to me almost unfurling my ugly, black undeserved wings but I managed to keep them from showing themselves.

'Lace, are you ok?'

Lucas. I knew he'd come after me. He always has and always will.

'Luke...'

I said as another shadow crouched over me but my blurry vision stopped me from recognising the person but the voice I knew.

Drina was frantically shouting something and Luke's voice was low and calm as if he wasn't rescuing me from the gruesome shadows that surrounded me and my senses letting nothing through but words I do not wish to hear. I was now being lifted off the ground and carried to a large vehicle; Lucas' pick up truck but after that moment, I started to fade into another place and I managed to hear through the incoherent whispers produced by the shadows before turning to a glittering grey dust and almost dissolving in the musky forest air with a sickening laughter.

*

I woke up abruptly and my eyes instantly recognised the dimly lit ceiling of the living room. I lifted my had and rubbed my eyes slowly as I began to sit up. My arms and legs , sticky with sweat peeled off the black leather sofa. My eyes shifted to the blonde, shaggy haired guy sitting on the edge of the sofa. I noticed that me legs were outstretch on the sofa leaving no space for him. I brought my legs up closer to my body.

'Sorry, you can sit down,'I said quietly waiting for him to move but he didn't. He looked at me disappointedly and shook his head. I looked down at my lap ashamed and embarrassed, scared to look up to find him staring me down with those darkened blue crystal eyes of his which seemed to almost cut right through me. Pulled me knees in towards my chest attempting to hide myself, to hide these embarrassing and extremely revealing - dare I call them - clothes. I may aswell just go out naked.

I heard as a zip and Luke stood up, I looked up to see him walk over to me and lay his red hoodie over me. I avoided his eyes as I knew they would show be everything but pleasant. I opened my mouth to thank him but closed it as I realised that maybe talking to him while he's obviously pissed off with me. To the max. The silence between us made everything awkward, and even more awkward was knowing that he was gazing over the part of me uncovered by his hoodie. I shifted uncomfortably and acted as if it decreased the amount of skin showing.

'You could've gotten killed.' He stated the obvious. I knew I could've gotten killed, I just didn't care. I had nothing to live for anymore, my beautiful, white, glowing wings had been stripped off. Leaving me with black, boney wings. Unheavenly like my previous ones. My wings now don't glow and aren't small light and feathery soft. They are dull, large and heavy. This is the result of committing a sin and becoming fallen. Not only do I have my wings stripped but my beauty and grace have been taken. My dark brown luscious long hair is now almost black and hanging limp and dry over my shoulders. I tucked it behind my ears and looked up to Luke. He walked over and crouched down before me taking hold of my pale hand and enlacing our fingers together.

'What happened to you, Lace?'

I took a breath and exhaled slowly lowering my head to the side to rest on my knees, never leaving his gaze.

'Sin happened.'

His face seemed to move closer to mine. I lifted my head, and his hand reached for my cheek, his fingers grazing over so lightly I wasn't sure if it was actually happening or if I was imagining. And I swear, I can honestly say I wanted him to kiss me.

'If you want me to stop, then say so...' I closed my eyes and waited patiently.

'I can't fucking believe you, Lace!'

Luke and I snapped our heads to Drina, letting go of each other as if we got caught committing some kind of crime.

'If you do not start acting like a damn 17 year old then I'm sorry but you're out of the house!' She snapped at me and then running her fingers through her faded red hair. I didn't start crying like always. I didn't feel sorry for myself this time, I didn't act like I was the victim and like I was the one that was getting hurt. Being blamed is something that I do not like at all but this time I'd have to take it. I know the last straw has been pulled by the way Drina's green eyes are looking so angry, I'm scared they'll ignite.

'Lace, I truly care about you. I really do, you're one of my best friends but I can't stand seeing you mourning the loss of your heavenly position. I mean look at you,' She sat down in the armchair and her eyes softened.

'You've got two options here. Either you start stealing human souls if you wanna start looking alive and not feed on dead souls or you could find a one of the few nephilim souls left which you can bring to Lucinda in exchange for your position.'

Damn. I didn't want to do either of these. They weren't me. I didn't like stealing human souls as I'd have to kill them after but surviving on souls of already dead humans is not enough. While the other option would be to find one of the few marked nephilims out there. And I know that's going to take a while, all I have to do is return his/her soul to Lucinda and she will give me permission to return to my former self. And maybe the second option is worth a shot before killing a human and claiming their soul. Much rather do it that way.

I dragged my tired feet up the stairs after a debate between the three of us deciding whether I should stay or not. And I lost. Of course I lost, it seems that I'm losing everything right now.

Slamming the door of my bedroom, I placed my ear buds in my ears and let the musical talent that is 30 Seconds To Mars take me to the world of thoughts with the song 'The Kill'. Music has always been my way out of situations, it has helped me realise things that I didn't think I'd ever realise. How the simple words of a heart felt song can change the way I think about situations. But at times, the songs can kind make things over dramatic like when you're feeling down and you put on some emo/metal music which expresses how their inner most feelings and how you hate your life, for example a song by metal-core band Bullet For My Valentine, All These Things I hate. That's the type of music I like but maybe its a little too over dramatic for my life. Or maybe it isn't. Maybe its just ME being over dramatic. But I kind of have a reason to be.

My I sat up rubbing my eyes which were rimmed with red from crying. I felt like an absolute failure, like even my friends had given up on me. But then again who wouldn't? I'm small, fragile and I'm a secretive person, I do not share with people as I'm not very open so no wonder people don't help to solve my problems. Well, they attempt to but I just can't let it out because I know that once they've involved themselves with me, they can't escape the consequences even though they haven't happened yet. And eventually, something will happen, I'm sure of it. I don't know where and I don't know when, it sure as hell will happen though and I'm hoping its not so soon.

*

My eyes fluttered open and settled on the familiar shadows of my room. I stretched and lay quiet for a while until it hit me - I'm moving today. It is my last day here. I'm going to start a new life for a while, only until I exchange the nephilim soul. And hopefully then, I can abandon this life and go back to what I used to be. I will no longer end up drunk and going round to dangerous people paying them money - and a few other things I don't want to mention - before findin out that they lied and do not know how to help me gain my wings back and as a result, I get dumped in the entrance of a forest and risking being possessed by the shadows. No one would care - apart from Luke and Drina maybe - but I no longer have parents. Well, technically I do, I just don't know where they are. All I know is that they did not want anything to do with me anymore as it was foretold that they're daughter - which is me - would become fallen, I'm guessing they were ashamed. And after my birth I was given away to the hands of someone else, where I was raised with love and care by Sam and Beck, my 'parents'. Of course, I love them both so much but I feel like they have given up on me too. Well, that's what I'm guessing since I haven't seen them after the fall. I guess they're just roaming around looking for other people they could help because that's just the kind of people they are. They even wanted to help me search for my biological parents but I refused as I became to attached to them and I don't think I could love my real parents as much as I love Sam and Beck. And to be honest, I'd never replace them with my real parents.

I swung my legs over the side of the bed and heaved my self up using my arms as support. I looked around at my now plain bedroom as I couldn't sleep last night because of anxiety so I decided to start packing my belongings. My metal and rock band posters were all gone leaving the walls covered in bits of tape, my hair products, perfumes, make up and jewellery were all packed away. The only thing left was my skull bedcover, a deodrant, the clothes I'm wearing today, my toothbrush and a mascara tube since that was the only thing within reach. I grabbed my things and got ready in the bathroom. Quickly, I slipped on a pair of grey skinnie jeans and a black tanktop with some sort of skull design, I put my hair up in a high ponytail, brushed some mascara and slid my glasses on before leaving the bathroom and walking into Luke's bare chest.

'Ouch, you just hurt my man boobs', he said rubbing his chest and looking down at me.
'They're called moobs,' I said laughing lightly and poking his chest.
'I know, I just prefer to say the word 'boobs'.'

He looked down at me with those eyes which softened a little as they met mine and if I'm not mistaken, they were looking at me longingly, caring or maybe even loving. And before I knew it, his strong and muscley arms were around my petite body and his hands at the small of my back, lifted just enough that I felt his hands warm, rough hands on my skin and almost backed off as if it was scorching hot. His head was burried in the crook of my neck and he was...planting small kisses? I tensed. I was unsure of what was going on. Why was he doing this? He's never liked me before and I know for sure that I'm nowhere near like the range of girls he likes. Blonde, blue eyed and bitchy. I put my arms on his chest and gently pushed him away.

'I-I have to go.' I said moving out of his way and making my way down the stairs not even glancing back to face him as I knew that it was tense between us. I stopped at the bottom of the stairs to hear the bathroom door close gently and the shower turn on. I sighed andd continued the rest of the steps into the kitchen were Drina was on the phone to someone. She was in a hello kitty night dress with her legs crossed on the chair with a pen in the other. Did I also mention that she had a serious case of bed head?

'...okay, pick her up at, let's say...3?'

She turnt the phone off and set it down on the table. An awkward moment of silence wavered between us and prayed that one of us thought of something to say because I quickly becoming uncomfortable.

'I'm sorry.' Drina said quietly looking up at me with her green apologetic eyes.
'Urm...Don't worry about, I needed a kick up the ass anyways.'
She smiled sadly and got up.
'Hugs?' She asked hopefully outstretching her arms, I nodded walking towards her and we embraced in a huge BFF type bear hug.

I was glad that I we weren't pissed at each other because I would've died if we weren't talking afterv I left. She's helped so much and I'm pretty sure she's going to help me through this. Now the only thing that I have to sort out is Luke and his...well, behaviour. I'm willing to forget what happened.