Superior

         Somewhere in the glass dome, on the irregularly shaped rectangular landmass in the north, I balanced myself walking along a curb of hardened soot. At the sight of a particularly beautiful blossom, I allowed myself to stumble off my makeshift beam and bent down to the level of the worms. Cautiously, as to protect the innocence of my rare prize, I plucked the flower and brought it to my eye.
         “Do you know what it’s like to be alone?”, I asked.
         “Well,” it reluctantly began, “I suppose I do. You see, everyday I stretch my petals towards the red ball in the sky there, just to try to get a scorch from its burning flame. I saw you humans touched by the light, shedding tears and feeling pain. I saw you burn in the most miserable of ways. I wish I could feel pain, feel alive…. but, alas, I have never succeeded.”
         “Profound… what a miserable life to live,” I remarked.
         “Quite. What about you? Do you know what it’s like to be alone?”
         “Oh… of course! Much like you, I strive for a goal. I wish to be bigger than the world.”
The flower laughed a menacing, angry laugh at me. I frowned.
         “Why do you mock me?”
         “You silly being… you can’t just go along and be bigger than the world!”
         “And flowers can’t feel,” I spat, throwing the thing to the ground.

         I began to run, feeling the infinite distance of the earth and feeling myself shrink and shrivel. Around me, the piles of scattered debris seemed to grow larger and toxic tears streamed down my face. No fair. I figured I would make my way back home, back to my real friends and away from judgmental flowers. The familiar shades of beige and brown whizzed by as I followed the path of my past footprints, worn into the ash from previous adventures. Out of breath, I slowed down to a walk as I approached my home. I gasped. I was always taken back at the sight of it. It was such perfection… such normality with just the right amount of obscurity.
         “Perfection,” I said aloud to myself. I liked the sound of the word.

         The familiarity of routine washed over me as I stepped inside the stable shack, greeting my friends as I did so. I did my best to feign emotional stability; I couldn’t have my colleagues seeing me act like such a fool. I took on the role of a new person, triumphantly hanging my coat upon the hanger and turning on my heel, marching my way towards the podium.
         "Come on, now. Gather up. It’s time for the meeting, we shan’t be late.”
The crowd was unmoving.
         “I said gather up!”, I snapped. They remained still.
         “Good… Now, let’s take attendance.”
A quick survey around the room with my eyes.
         “It seems like everyone is present,” said I. No one else ever said anything anyhow.
         “Now, let’s get right along to business. Today… today was no good. Nothing came out of today, much like other days. Don’t be discouraged though! I’m still trying my best.”
They all stared. I closed my eyes.
         “Just an idea, that’s all I need,” I reassured, “One little idea and my mission will be complete!”
The mood of the room lightened a bit, causing me to release the breath I had been holding all along.
         “Now, get back to your musings and I will get to mine. It is time for sleep. Tomorrow, I will adventure once more and we shall meet again at the same time. This session is adjourned.”
I took my time scanning the room once more, soaking in the feeling of power and importance. Such a tease, it was, feeling large for a moment. Curse this world for teasing me so!
I slept.

…

         In the morning, all ran as usual. I ate a meal of ashes and stems. I pondered the mystery of what the true form of the ash was before it was dissolving in my mouth, before it became ash in the first place, before the accident.
         “Maybe… a baby,” I mused. The rhyme made me chuckle. There was no time for humorous thoughts, though. Not with a mission like mine. I spit the slop at my feet in a fit and set out for the door, grabbing my coat in the meantime.
This time, however, I walked my familiar path, remembering the dismay that running had brought. This worked out in my favor more than I had planned. I remembered the blasphemous flower and set my gaze towards the sun, the nucleus of the sky, surveying the horizon curiously shortly after. I noticed something. Something was sticking out, piercing the cloud and penetrating the still, heavy air. It was almost like a petal, except made of stone. I had to look twice to make sure it wasn’t just ash, fooling me again.
         “A mountain…”
         I ran to it with my arms outstretched to my sides. I needed to feel it, needed to feel reality. I almost couldn’t bring my hand to it, overwhelmed with emotion and my excited state. I knew that if it crumbled beneath my touch, my dreams would be crumbled as well. Slowly, in what seemed like hours, I finally let my fingertips graze the surface. Strength. I rested my whole hand upon it. The structure retained its shape. In an excited fit I punched it wildly, laughing. It didn’t budge. Blood coated my hand as I collapsed to my knees, crying out to the sky in joy. Success.

         In a haze of pride, I sprinted at a speed I didn’t know I was capable of towards home. I screamed some more, just because I could. Again the path seemed infinite, but this time for good reason. I ran right in the door, not bothering to take notice of the beauty of my house. Nothing could trump the beauty of my soul at that moment.
         “I’ve done it!”, I yelled, “I’ve done it! Come with me, you must! The mission is almost complete!”
         The friends did not share my excitement. My smile faded for a moment, but it surely returned. I scooped them up and carried them with me in my arms, embracing them. So close. We were so close.

         Once at the foot of the stone slab, I could hardly contain myself. I took a deep breath, feeling the chemicals fill my lungs. Success. Success!
“Don’t get too excited yet,” I warned my friends, and also myself, “We still need to climb.”
Slowly but surely, I was able to drag the friends and I up the mountain. Hand after hand, foot after foot, and one little being in the huge world about to take control. Close to the top, I threw the friends up first; unable to take the overwhelming feeling that was surging inside of me. The tears flowed once more. I peaked my head over the peak and suddenly, I was infinite.

         I stood there, looking out at my kingdom, and spread my hands out wide. The scary air blew and I absorbed it. Blowing my hair, drying my tears, and enveloping my limbs… it was welcoming its new ruler. I saw it all – the piles of soot, the disastrous ruins, the giant crater – and knew it was all mine. I looked down at my friends… dish, bowl, spoon, and basket.
         “We’re here,” I whispered, “I am bigger than the world. See? See me here? It is I, the largest and tallest thing this earth has ever seen! Perfection!”
         A tingling feeling crept its way up my spine. Was this life I felt? My blood thumped against the walls that contained it, needing to feel as large as I did. I looked down at the scrape of my hand. At the sight of the particularly beautiful release of my insides into the outside, I allowed myself to stumble off the makeshift throne. Just to feel pain, just to feel alive…

I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)