Misunderstood Chaos

Misunderstood Chaos

Life has been hard
Ever since I came back.
No more bullets to dodge,
no camo, no rucksack.

No more bullets, I say?
The battle's begun.
We're at it again,
before nearly each day is done.

It starts with something small,
most likely avoided.
The flames flare up,
no winner decided.

You see me shut down,
and block out the emotion.
Despite the butting heads,
you still have my devotion.

It's difficult to talk,
when all that you've been taught
is to shove emotion away,
when a battle's to be fought.

My training's left me scarred,
so hard to stop my modes.
But once we've gotten started,
our relationship erodes.

A warrior puts his duty first,
and once done, can let out emotion.
But you must be satisfied first,
second is duty, coming first is emotion.

You may think that I'm shutting you out,
not caring, no emotions.
But this is what they have made me,
to fight, and remove emotional complications.

So please, next time, understand,
I'm not trying to shut you out,
and that I love you so much,
and my feelings for you are devout.