Our last note played

G string, D, A, E, the constant laughs.
The anxious faces, unbelievable guilt to those who didn't even touch their piece of music.
Broken strings and bow hairs.
Yet throughout all this mess I believe I was the most worried.
I practiced of course and was stagefright but I couldn't believe why I wanted to run out and just end it there.

My heart broke just the day before so I thought well maybe I could go through with it.
He wasn't even the one to breakup with me. People call it a relationship but it was barely 3 days no contact whatsoever.
It still looked like we were strangers no change whatsoever.
I kept telling myself though he chose me out of everyone else.
Even though barely 3 days passed I think I knew that any second now my fantasy would end. Reality would strike and I'd realize we are strangers no story behind us anymore just regular people.

" MILLA! ROSIN! " yelled Lily. So right when I handed her my rosin my eyes met with the guy who no doubt cut my soul out.
He then whispered to his friend and I turned around with hopelessness. Lily said it's okay it's not like you guys are going to throw violins at eachother. Oh well Lily was right at that time. We didn't throw our violins we passed notes yelled across the instruments and basically didn't play a single note! " Ay Milla! " I turned and it was heartbreakers bff! Who I like to call penguin! So penguin said heartbreaker wants to know if I still like him. I was soo on tact with each measure of music and note but when he said that I looked at heartbreaker and he had the same exact hopeless look I had and because of that, I forgot everything except the first day I met heartbreaker.

I then was freaking out and said " what? Huh. Um I don't know does he still like me?" Then penguin started disscussing with heartbreaker and all on my mind was I don't care if you never want to talk to me just say you like me like you did before when we were stupid and young! I didn't care all I knew is if he doesn't wanna say love then please please say like! I then saw heartbreakers head nod no. Penguin knew I saw heartbreaker saw my face. Lily said I looked like someone punched me but worse. Then heartbreaker said he broke up with me because he like someone else. I was scared to talk to him so Lily talked for me lke penguin was doing for heartbreaker. We now started playing " ode to joy" but everything was far from joyful!

So since we had such a short time in between songs we passed notes. " Hey Milla want me to hook you up? " said penguin. I then said " no! What?! With who?" Then he said " you know with heartbreaker! " I swear I sooo wanted to slap penguin across the face because of how stupid a question that is! That makes me look like a desperate hobo! " Are you insane?! We just broke up! " I said. " So? " said penguin. Don't you ever feel like slapping someone across the head because they don't see the plain awkwardness of the obvious?! All I wanted to do now was talk to heaetbreaker myself! So I can tell him how I really feel because I don't wanna write it in a note that penguin sees or shout it across the 20 instruments playing. I wanted it to be special.

I asked him he wanted to avoid all ways of confrontation with me. That son of a batch of cookies. I begged he didn't want to. The last thing he told me that day was " we're still friends." Funny thing is we weren't friends we still were strangers. The thing is we use to be friends but he avoided me and now we made a huge mess. That same day I cried.

All I wanted was my friend back at that time I didn't care anymore if we were together or not all I wanted was a simple hello everyday jokes and all the things real friends do. I sometimes wish I could just go back in time and told him I still liked him even in front of everyone. That was 2 years ago though. Things changed and I learned to move on even now we don't speak. The last time we spoke was at the orchestra concert. The last note marked our final goodbye. He's still there though. It's just we couldn't save our friendship. Even to this day I still love him. Not as much though as I use to when I thought that we were a beautiful piece of music. I realized every song ends.