Keep Doing

July 5, 1863.

“Ma!” the boy yelled, getting Addy’s attention and waking her from her momentary day dream.

“Can I or not?”

Timmy Weiggs was 7 years old and wanted to join his cousins in the creek. It was a hot summer afternoon, but swimming on Sunday was against the rules.

Adeline Weiggs looked at her boy’s pleading eyes and bit her tounge. A wave of sorrow passed quickly through her as she ignored her first instinct to say, “Go ask your father.” Instead she simply nodded yes.

“But you listen for me to call; we’re not staying all day.”

“Thanks ma,” Timmy yelled as he sprinted down the pathway.

After church that morning Addy and her two children, Timmy and his 5 year old sister Sarah walked home with Addy’s mother-in-law. Dinner at Mama Weiggs house was a weekly tradition. Addy got up from her seat on the front porch and stuck her head back in the house to see Mary Weiggs, her mother in law sitting alone at the table.

“Where’s Sarah?”

Mary raised her head and looked at Addy with tired eyes, the lines in her face deep enough to hurt.

“Oh, she’s yonder playing with Susan,” she said as she waved at the back door.

Looking at her mother in law Addy thought of happier days when their men were there. Her father in law, Simon Peter Weiggs had died just six months before. Addy’s husband, Jonathan Weiggs had been gone quite a bit longer, but at least he would come home someday. He was somewhere serving with the 39th North Carolina Infantry, company E.

In his last letter Jonathan had told her he had been voted “First Sergeant” of the company. Addy did not really know what that meant exactly, but hoped he would keep himself safe. That letter had been dated four months ago and she still did not know if Jon had learned about his father. She had written him of course, but the mail was so slow.

“Um, the uh, the boys are all at the creek, so I was gonna . . .” Addy’s voice trailed off as she waved an arm towards the road leading back to the church.

“Not today,” Mary said shaking her head. “You go on child. I don’t have the strength.”

Addy sat down next to her mother in law. As she laid her hand on her shoulder Addy could feel every bone. Neither of the women was bearing up well.

With a tear in her eye the younger woman asked, “Will it ever get any better?”

Mary never looked up but continued to stare at the table.

“I don’t know, I just don’t know.” Mary knew her grandchildren’s mother needed support and help, but she had so little left to give.

“We just have to keep doing child,” she finally said, “You just keep doing one day after another till they are all gone. You go on up, tell him about that last letter you got. I’m just gonna rest a spell.”

Adeline walked to the church alone, watching the dust that she stirred up with each step along the dry road. The church was empty and she walked to Simon’s stone. Grass now grew where she could remember the dirt being piled. Beside Simon was a space that Mary would occupy someday. Below them and to the left was the place Addy knew was reserved for her and Jon. Beside that Jon’s older brother Peter already lay. He had marched off to war with his brother two years before. Peter had been killed at a place called Fort Magruder. His body had been returned home. There were places for Jon’s sisters as well, and two other brothers who were already laid there, neither of whom had ever turned one.

Addy didn’t say anything. She knew some people believed that the dead could hear you, but she didn’t.

If the dead can hear my words, she thought, they can read my thoughts just as easy.

She stood there and looked at Simon’s stone for a bit. She didn’t cry. Addy felt like she had cried herself dry. Now all she could feel was tired, hurt, and alone.

Addy stood up and turned to walk back when she saw him walking down the road. A single man walking alone; far past the church, headed this way.

There is something about, she thought

Addy watched as the man walked. A part of her wanted to believe it was Jon, but another part said that was silly. The trail dipped out of site as it passed through a gully and the man was out of site for a few minutes.

As soon as he reappeared on the trail Addy could make him out, and there was no doubt that it was her Jon. Her Jon was coming home!

Addy let out a yell and began to run down the trail. Jon saw her coming and tried to go a little faster himself, but he had been walking a long time.

Addy got in close and let out another yell as she grabbed him up in her arms. Jon’s pretty grey uniform was dirty and torn and he was unwashed and fresh from the trail, but Addy didn’t care. Jon was home.

“Oh Jon, Oh Jon” was all she could say over and over again as tears ran down her face.

“You won’t believe Timmy, he has gotten so big, and Sarah, oh she is just the cutest.”

They had continued along the trail and were now at the edge of the fence around the church cemetery. Jon had not said much and he was looking at his father’s grave.

“Oh baby, I am so sorry, did you get. . .”

“Yea,” Jon finally said, “I knew, I got your letter. I sent you one since then. Did you get it?”

“No, but I will, I’m sorry.”

“I should have been here.” Jon said.

“I know, and I’m sorry, but you’re here now. You’re here now and that is all that matters.”

Addy looked up at Jon and noticed that he was not looking at his father’s grave, but at the place reserved for them, the place reserved for him.

“No darling, here,” he said again, “I should have been here.”

Adeline reached for her husband’s arm, but this time she felt nothing. She looked again in horror as her hand passed through the place where his arm was. She could still see him, but when she reached to touch him, there was nothing.
Not wanting to understand as the horror passed over her Addy looked into her husband’s eyes.

“I’m sorry Addy” Jon said.

His body seemed to start fading in front of her as she stared.

“I’m so sorry baby. I can’t stay but for a second.” He stammered as fresh tears ran down Addy’s face.

“I’m in a place called Hagerstown. It’s in Maryland. That was a far as I could make it. They just gonna stick me in a field by the hospital, I’m not even sure if it’ll be marked.”

“It will be,” Addy promised.

“I’m proud of you baby, you got to keep doing for those kids, they’re all that’s left.” She heard as the apparition fading to nothing.

“I will,” She said, but she was speaking to no one but the wind.

Adeline walked back to her mother in law’s to get her children, watching the dust that she stirred up with each step along the dry road. Tomorrow was Monday and she needed to wash some clothes, and there were weeds coming up in the bean field. The corn was starting to stand up tall. There was work to do in the morning. Fields to grow, children to raise, one more day to keep doing.