Gnodab--not badong

I counted aloud, concentrating on keeping my balance on the precariously narrow surface area I was bouncing on, “twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty, thirt—”

All of a sudden gravity seemed to tilt on me. I looked up and saw Sally laughing at me.

“You’re never going to break my record, Jack!” She crowed.

My fists seemed to clench of their own accord. “Of course I won’t if you keep pushing me off the pogo stick Sally!” I yelled, frustrated at her immaturity.

She giggled some more, “Me push you off?” she trilled, “I think you’ve got it wrong Jack—you’re just too clumsy to ever make it past my score.”

“You’re just lucky you’re a girl. My dad said never to hit a girl; otherwise you’d have had more black eyes than you can count.” I threatened.

She laughed some more, and left as quickly as she came, making sure to kick my pogo stick in the process. “Sorry, Jackie! I didn’t see it there—you should really pick your toys up off of the sidewalk.”

My anger seemed to boil up inside of me—I was sure any minute I would turn into the Hulk and be able to tear her precious pogo stick into tiny pieces. I chuckled lowly. Well, as low as a preadolescent boy could. I knew that the chances of me turning into Hulk were slim to none—I had to take matters into my own hands for this one. What would be the best way to teach her never to mess with me again? The classic gum in her hair? Mud pies in her face? Bugs in her dress? The possibilities were endless.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” A voice said to my left. I immediately looked over—it sounded just like my one true love—Beth. Beth was the epitome of all things kind and nice; it was unfortunate that she had Sally for a younger sister.

What I saw made me jump back and scream. There appeared to be a miniature Beth floating by my left shoulder!

“Yeah, are you sure you want to do this? After all, you wouldn’t want Beth’s perfect view of you to be ruined, would you Jackie?” Another voice sounded to my right.

I was going crazy—there was no way tiny Beth’s and Sally’s could be talking to me while floating around my shoulders!

“Go away!” I yelled, trying to run away from them. Beth simply smiled at my antics and continued sitting calmly on my shoulder. Sally chuckled menacingly and began bouncing on a miniature pogo stick on my shoulder. “You’ll never get rid of us, Jackie-boy!” She shouted between counting.

“I’m here to tell you it’s not worth it, whatever you’re planning to do to Sally, although she probably deserves it.” Beth told me.

Sally laughed crazily, “And I’m here to make sure you do do something awful to Sally—you’ll get into heaps of trouble! Just what she—and I—want!”

Beth shook her head, “Don’t listen to her Jack. You’re a good kid. Deep down you don’t really want to hurt anyone.”

“Oh, of course not, Bethie-poo. I’d do anything for you! I have no brain, I’m just here to listen to whatever you tell me to do Beth.” Sally mocked me, rolling her eyes. “Come on, Jack! Hurt me; I dare you.”

I slowly shook my head, “No, Beth’s right. I shouldn’t do anything bad.”

Sally rolled her eyes, “Of, course not. Beth will never like you Jack! Get that into your head! She’s three years older than you, jeez!”

“Be quiet, Sally!” I yelled, frustrated. It seemed like I would never be able to escape Sally and her annoying actions.

Beth peered around my face, “I know Sally. Be quiet. Just because he chooses to listen to everything I say doesn’t mean he has no backbone.”

Sally glared at Beth. “Yes it does.” Turning back to me, she began mocking me again. “Oh Jackie, you’re so dumb, you listen to whatever Beth tells you. I bet your mom is sorry she gave birth to such an ugly kid—you’re never going to get married. You’ll be an old, fat man who lives with his mom forever.”

I looked over at Beth, wanting some comfort. Beth seemed to be tuning both of us out, as she usually did.

Sally continued, “You’ll never have any friends cuz you’re an annoying stupid kid with stupid freckles all over your stupid face.”

I groaned, there was no ignoring something shouting in your ear.

Sally—the real Sally—walked past my house a few hours later. She shot me a smirk before skipping past. “I’m going to pick up my pogo stick from Laura’s house. You know, the one I reached the unbeatable amount on?”

That did it. I was tired of Sally and mini Sally annoying me. I was going to put an end to this right now.

I stood up and ran over to the mud pies I had been planning to give to my friend Tom later that week. Poking it gently with my finger, I grinned. They were the perfect consistency. Slightly hardened on the outside, and warm and soft in the middle.

I carefully picked all of them up and carried them to the fence.

“You don’t want to do this.” Beth cautioned.

Sally cackled in response. “Yes, yes you do!”

Minutes later Sally walked past again. I knew it was her because she was hopping on her pogo stick, trying to rub it in my face.

I determined that I would get the last laugh, no matter what. Whooping and yelling like a banshee, I jumped up from behind my fence and began throwing my perfect mud pies onto Sally and her stupid pogo stick. She screamed and ran away, dragging her pogo stick behind her.

I smirked evilly, and picked up my pogo stick. Time to finally break the record.