Dear Me

                                                                                                                                       January 19, 2011
Dear Me,

I’m so glad you have decided to make this resolution.  I’m so very proud of you to have finally seen that you must “break the chain”.  Your uncle Nick had told you this almost 20 years ago.  I know you heard him, but you didn’t listen to him. 

It’s very typical of you to be a slow learner.  However, it’s better late than never.  Your apathy to make New Year’s resolutions and aversion to fail has been a constant theme in your life.  Regardless, the prospect of change and newness will come with set backs.  The accompanying success will far outweigh any of the negative things that you will encounter on your journey. 

While it’s been painful for you to finally accept the underlying cause of many of the sad experiences of your life, I’m so very happy you have arrived at this crossroads.  As you replay your childhood, your marriage, your most recent breakup, and your day to day events throughout the last two decades, almost every major negative event has been tainted by your overindulgence.  There is a beautiful opportunity now for you to fix that.  The opportunity lies before you to avoid much of that future heartache that you so desperately want to erase from your life. 

I can’t tell you how many people love you for who you are.  There are many who think you are an absolutely fantastic person.  I’ve heard them say, “You are one of the greatest individuals I have ever met.” 
There are just as many people, most of them the same individuals, that think you are absolutely awful after you’ve had a few drinks.  Your close friends even have you timed down to three drinks.  They know after beverage number 3, that Self shows up.  In case you haven’t realized, nobody likes Self.  Whether it’s that he can’t control his emotions or his inability to be nice, he is a hated individual.  You have dubbed your drunk alter ego, Self.  I know it’s an attempt to escape any retribution for your actions.  In case you haven’t realized, you two are one in the same.  You are ultimately responsible for both you and Self.

I’m not here to beat you up.  I know I need to get it in the open between us, so that we can move forward.  You are still in mourning from losing an absolutely fantastic girlfriend.  I can only imagine what a difficult time this is.  When you compound the other losses, I assume it’s even that much more painful.  However, looking to the past does not allow you to move ahead.  You must accept your failures, and learn from them. 

If you look at all the evidence, you know abstinence is the best route for you.  The genetic predisposition to alcohol and your history with being incapable of moderating your consumption on a consistent basis are distinct indicators that you need to avoid the booze.  I know you will want to have fermented beverage once in a while.  You must gauge yourself and your surroundings when the decision presents itself.  I’d highly advise you to recall the pain in your life, remember the heartache, and then decide if having a couple drinks is the route you should choose.
The exciting thing about this is that you are not the only person in this world who has struggled with this.  There are many sober people out there.  Remember, Trev?  You absolutely loved that guy.  He was funny, kind, and had a very magnetic personality, much like you!  If you also recall his words, “I don’t drink anymore.  I realized I was incapable of keeping my mouth shut and my butt out of jail.”  We all laughed about it, but I know you secretly said to yourself that is something you should do.

Well, now you have that opportunity.  A fresh start and a clean slate have been given to you, my friend.  I have all the faith in the world that you will be successful.  I’ve seen you climb and conquer much bigger mountains than this.  Stay with your resolution to lay off the drinking!  When the temptation arises, recall the past and remember how much trouble and pain the alcohol has caused.  Finally, remember how many people love YOU and how they hate Self.
 
I’m here if you need me, any time day or night.

Me

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