Reaching For What We Do Not See

Stripping free from all that constitutes me as a civilized human being, I slide open the transparent doors that shield me from the elements. The lack of even the slightest breeze lets my body acclimate with ease, and my skin and muscles tighten for only a second.

I make my way over rough and coarse ground, breathing deeply. I walk slowly, letting my eyes take in the night, and become one with the silent darkness. I feel at ease, and muscle memory guides me to a blissful and soothingly warm pool, bathed in starlight.

I look into the mirror-surface of the water, at the thin veil that buffers the chill of night from the cocoon of warmth and safety. As I dip a foot then a leg in, I see myself passing from one world into another at a speed which seems to grab hold of time and chain it to these few moments. Soon my entire body is submerging, and as my eyes pass below the surface, life’s small and miniscule problems are thrown to the darkest dungeons of the screaming nether.

I have entered my own world, one where I am king and divine god. I am wrapped in the waters of all that is life and space, and it is mine. No one may tell me different, for this is my time, where my thought-processes and my desires are all that matter. The ponderings of the day past that roared through the channels of my mind and clouded judgements and fuelled anger and despair are gone. I gaze up at the stars, now visible with the clouds fading, and my only thoughts are those concerning the vastness of what lies out there.

Countless stars, endless darkness, and the potential for everything the human mind can comprehend, and more – it all lies above. We are insignificant, yet I am enlightened in the here and now, where time has stopped and my mind projects itself into everything in existence. I can see past the immediately visible, past countless galaxies, nebulas, stardust, and more. I see the edge of the universe – ever expanding – and past the wall of all existence. I see into the face of all creation – my own eye.

A smile grips my once forlorn and desolate face. I look upon the troubles of myself, my family, and the world. Genocide, death, poverty – they are all long-gone now. Nothing matters in this moment, and why should it? These lives we lead take us to ends which bring nothing, but perhaps a slight hint of understanding of a simple and disturbing world. In the simple darkness of night, where color simplifies to few shades, to view these things and laugh is the utmost and most prestigious gift I have ever received.

However, in this womb, one which I never want to leave, I realize I have not come to any conclusions about my own life. For this moment I may be god, enlightened, and divine, yet where does this get me? Are these thoughts, right now, my humanity getting back to me after a split-second of divinity? Perhaps. Am I destined to live out a regular human life, to only become one with everything in death? Perhaps. How am I ever to change this, this path seemingly cut into stone, with only miniscule disturbances and changes to those which millions of others tread?... Is it even possible?

My head emerges from the water, and my skin is gripped by the cool night air. I stand up, and as my cocoon drips away and dies, I have come to no better position in life. I will walk inside, cover myself in cloth, go to bed, and soon wake up with no real knowledge of anything. Does the act of “over-thinking” simply bring us to the precipice of universal knowledge and wisdom, then drag us back, kicking, screaming, and soon-to-be insane? Or does it lead us on a new path, one dedicated to seeking the answers of existence before our bodies and minds split? I don’t know, you don’t know, and in this vast world of billions, does anyone – will anyone?